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Received child support letter

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Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
Because the woman told me a few years ago. She messaged me and explained this all to me. She told me I was one of a couple of men she slept with and that was that.
Fast forward three more years and I’m posting this.
I see - so you don't actually "know", you've just been told.

Well, you're in for a surprise:

If another guy was listed as the father on the birth certificate, then the state wouldn't be coming after you for child support. You have choices: You can cooperate with them, or you can not cooperate with them. Either way, you should, at the very least, talk to an attorney about this.
 


Ohiogal

Queen Bee
What part exactly do you not understand?
My name is not on the birth certificate, the man she is currently with and raising the child with is on it. Apparently she cheated, he knows he’s not the father (genetic test less than a year) and are both raising the child together and are also engaged.

I can understand bearing responsibility if it is my child but in this case how can you not consider it theft? If he was the father (I don’t even know if I am) their circumstance would be identical, still together and a family. Now the only difference is someone is coming after me for money.
You had sex with her. Should it be considered rape because you don't believe you should have to deal with the consequences? Oh and the law covers both situations. You would have to pay if your child. And you can be found dad by default if ordered and don't.
 

Eekamouse

Senior Member
So if they break up and it turns out you're the father, that would be okay with you and you wouldn't consider this theft? What does her relationship status have to do with you being financially obligated to provide for a child you helped make?
 

not2cleverRed

Obvious Observer
I recently received a letter in the mail to establish child support. She had a child that is 4 years old and still with the presumed father (he’s on the birth certificate) but not married, but apparently isn’t the genetic father and they both knew within the first year.

I did sleep with this woman, but have no contact with her or her child in any way. I have no interest in being a father if I am infact the biological father and this seems like a way just to take money from me. They are both living together and both raising the child as a family. Considering if he was the genetic father she wouldn’t be able to seek out money from anyone so if I am the father, from my point of view it would be basically be theft!

What rights or recourse do I have?
What rights or recourse do you have?

You have the right to arrange for genetic testing.

If you do not get genetic testing as directed in the paperwork, you can be deemed the father by default, whether or not you are the biological father.

If you get genetic testing and it is determined that you are the biological father, then you have the responsibility to make sure your child, this child you helped create, is supported financially and emotionally.

You can pray that the man who loves and stands by this woman marries her and adopts your child.
 

not2cleverRed

Obvious Observer
Fer realz, red?
Well, with OP's craptastic attitude, I certainly don't want him spending quality time with the kid unless and until his attitude is adjusted.

If Mom gets married and her husband wants to adopt, why not? It'd be nice if someone put the kid first, but adulting is apparently difficult for Mom and her associates. The probability of a 4+ year "engagement" becoming a marriage is slim, but it is a legal possibility.

But unless and until that happens, Dad is on the hook.

And if he thinks it's "theft", then he should have neutralized his swimmers. In all likelihood, the reason he's being pursued for child support is that the Mom has been receiving some form of state aid. The only one being robbed so far is the tax payers.
 
What rights or recourse do you have?

You have the right to arrange for genetic testing.
But does he have a legal obligation to take a genetic test to prove or disprove the paternity?
In other words the mother of the child stands to gain financially and has 'accused' the OP of being the father, should he be required to prove that he is not?
Just asking.
 

PayrollHRGuy

Senior Member
But does he have a legal obligation to take a genetic test to prove or disprove the paternity?
In other words the mother of the child stands to gain financially and has 'accused' the OP of being the father, should he be required to prove that he is not?
Just asking.
He isn't going to be held down and forced to take a DNA test. But if he doesn't a judge ay rule he is the father.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
But does he have a legal obligation to take a genetic test to prove or disprove the paternity?
In other words the mother of the child stands to gain financially and has 'accused' the OP of being the father, should he be required to prove that he is not?
Just asking.
Of course not. He can just carry on as is. As long as he understands that not contesting his alleged paternity could find him named the legal father by default...
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
But does he have a legal obligation to take a genetic test to prove or disprove the paternity?
In other words the mother of the child stands to gain financially and has 'accused' the OP of being the father, should he be required to prove that he is not?
Just asking.
If he doesn't show up in court and doesn't get the DNA done he likely will be found to be legal daddy...so it is on his own best interest to got to court and get the testing done. Does he have to do it? No. But he will be on the hook for support...even if the child is not his.
 
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stealth2

Under the Radar Member
Well, with OP's craptastic attitude, I certainly don't want him spending quality time with the kid unless and until his attitude is adjusted.

If Mom gets married and her husband wants to adopt, why not? It'd be nice if someone put the kid first, but adulting is apparently difficult for Mom and her associates. The probability of a 4+ year "engagement" becoming a marriage is slim, but it is a legal possibility.

But unless and until that happens, Dad is on the hook.

And if he thinks it's "theft", then he should have neutralized his swimmers. In all likelihood, the reason he's being pursued for child support is that the Mom has been receiving some form of state aid. The only one being robbed so far is the tax payers.
p.s. I was being sarcastic... ;)
 

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