Reduction in Child Support

[Newlydivmomto4]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Kentucky

My ex is having a hard time supporting himself, new wife and baby on his salary and paying child support as well. I am doing okay financially, not raking in the dough, but not living paycheck to paycheck like he is.

I am going to offer to drop the child support by 200 dollars per month, and not ask for his half of the daycare bill during the school year. The child support case is based out of California, how and what would I file to make the courts aware of what I am doing?

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Kentucky

My ex is having a hard time supporting himself, new wife and baby on his salary and paying child support as well. I am doing okay financially, not raking in the dough, but not living paycheck to paycheck like he is.

I am going to offer to drop the child support by 200 dollars per month, and not ask for his half of the daycare bill during the school year. The child support case is based out of California, how and what would I file to make the courts aware of what I am doing?

Does he pay the daycare bill directly to you?...or is it included with the child support?

 

[Newlydivmomto4]

Does he pay the daycare bill directly to you?...or is it included with the child support?

The order says he has to pay half of childcare costs, because they vary it is not calculated in the child support and he pays me directly.

 

[CourtClerk]

If you want to do it (not that I recommend it), then file an OSC and ask for a modification.

Otherwise, why not just give him back whatever portion you'd like him to have?

 

[LdiJ]

The order says he has to pay half of childcare costs, because they vary it is not calculated in the child support and he pays me directly.

You might want to consider just letting him off the hook for the daycare costs, but leave the child support alone. That way, you wouldn't have to do anything in court.

 

[ecmst12]

If the court order says he has to pay, she should change the order. That way he knows she won't be able to change her mind and bite him in the rear later by asking for arrears.

 

[mistoffolees]

If the court order says he has to pay, she should change the order. That way he knows she won't be able to change her mind and bite him in the rear later by asking for arrears.

Since SHE is the one offering, it's really not up to him.

I wouldn't spend the money on going back to court. First, it's a waste of money. Second, what happens if she loses her job or takes a cut in pay? Now, she's short of money and would have to go back to court AGAIN to get support back to where it should have been.

If she wants him to have $200 more per month, she can just give him $200 per month. He pays the full cs, so there will be no arrears, she makes a gift to him, and everyone's happy. Plus, if her circumstances change (kid needs braces, whatever), she can simply stop giving him the $200 gift every month.

That has the added advantage of making it clear that he's not pulling his own weight. Maybe it will give him an incentive to get another job when he realizes that his ex-wife is supporting him out of kindness (or work more hours, or have his wife work).

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

She can always file a temporary reduction. Say, give dad a year to get his act in gear. I realize that she's being nice here. It really boils down to the fact that dad CHOSE to have another baby after knowing there were 4 children to support.

 

[Newlydivmomto4]

I have already let him off the hook for daycare since July. He is still struggling. I know and agree he needs to re-evaluate his finances. I have offered the kids visiting for upcoming vacations and his constant response is "don't have the money". The kids need to see their dad.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Then send the $200 dollars back to him. On record, he has paid the support amount.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Or set the $$ aside and send it with them when it is time for him to send the children.

 

[mistoffolees]

She can always file a temporary reduction. Say, give dad a year to get his act in gear. I realize that she's being nice here. It really boils down to the fact that dad CHOSE to have another baby after knowing there were 4 children to support.

Agreed, but I wouldn't file for a temporary reduction, either. It's a waste of money - and lures him into thinking that he only owes the lower amount. Make it clear that he owes the full amount - and if she wants to be nice, she can return some of it.

If she files for a reduction, he may decide that he can get another reduction by having even more kids.

 

[callie212]

Agreed, but I wouldn't file for a temporary reduction, either. It's a waste of money - and lures him into thinking that he only owes the lower amount. Make it clear that he owes the full amount - and if she wants to be nice, she can return some of it.

If she files for a reduction, he may decide that he can get another reduction by having even more kids.

Agreed. I wouldn't file for anything, temporary or otherwise. Some people will always be broke no matter how much money they have. I like the idea of just returning some of the money as a "gift".

Even better, I would suggest that maybe you give him the money like you want, but instead of just saying "Here's some money to reduce support this month", give it to him and directly tell him to use it to do something with the kids, then use whatever is leftover for what he needs.

There's a lot you can do that's better than reducing support because I don't think reducing support would necessarily help. It already hasn't helped that you have let him off on daycare.

 

[LdiJ]

I have already let him off the hook for daycare since July. He is still struggling. I know and agree he needs to re-evaluate his finances. I have offered the kids visiting for upcoming vacations and his constant response is "don't have the money". The kids need to see their dad.

Then I would definitely do what someone else suggested and save up the money to use to transport the children to dad or as spending money for the children while they are with dad, rather than reducing dad's support.