Reimbursement of medical bills

[WhattheHeck19]

Texas

I have been divorced for over 5 years. My ex is extremely bitter and hasn't moved on with her own life. She got engaged but then that relationship failed. We have a child together that's now 11 years old. I have always been current on child support and have paid her for medical bills that she's sent me. She ended up getting braces for my daughter without ever once consulting me, agreeing to a $6600 contract without notice.

I just got engaged to my long time girlfriend and notified my ex (before my kid did and the ex reacted poorly to my child) via email. Her response was the usual sarcastic and crappy attitude she normally has. She then told me that since I could buy my fiance a ring that I could now pay her the money I "owe her" for medical bills. She sent me a word document list of bills dating back to 2016. She acknowledges that I have paid her over $800 toward bills but claims that I still owe over $1200 in bills that she never sent me. Clearly she has been adding up bills and now sending them to me out of spite and anger due to my engagement.

I combed back through our divorce decree and find that she is required to "furnish" bills to me in person or via certified mail within 30 days of treatment and that I then have 30 days to pay my portion of uncovered (through my insurance) amounts. She has never once properly furnished me with a single bill according to our decree, in the past and the ones I have paid have all been through email. Because she chooses to be vindictive and I'm having a hard time sorting out what I would owe from her bs word document and comparing them to insurance statements I've asked her to furnish each individual bill the way she is required to. I even told her that I would pay them after seeing the bills. Since then, she has taken away my visitation with my daughter (that I was supposed to have yesterday) and is threatening me with a lawyer.

With her, the turmoil has been pretty constant and she regularly berates me mostly through email. I don't feel that asking her to do her part and sending me the bills is unreasonable. I'm in Texas...does anyone know if I could be held in contempt? Or am I even obligated to pay since she hasn't sent me the bills in the 30 day timeline? I don't want to just fork her over money because she's angry and bullying me either. I'm willing to do my part but I'm also not willing to play her games. Advice?

 

[Zigner]

Since she didn't provide the bills as required in the order, it would appear that you are not required to pay. I wouldn't even entertain her with this offer to pay the old bills that she never sent you notice about.

Did you contact the police for an incident report when she withheld the visitation? If she continues to withhold visitation, then you're going to need to go to court with a motion for contempt. You should probably retain an attorney.

 

[WhattheHeck19]

Yeah I wish I hadn’t offered to pay already but it was with the stipulation that she provided each bill so I could compare with insurance. Hopefully if she speaks with a lawyer they will advise her to simply do the same.

Yes, I have made three police reports now due to her canceling my visits. She had agreed to these dates but then decides since they’re not the days of the week as outlined in the decree that she can take them away whenever she pleases. Sometimes she even tries to say it’s because my child doesn’t want to come over. I know this would all be because of my ex’s negative influence on her.

So now, I’m sticking to the decree days. I work odd hours and at night so there are a lot of standard visit days that I can’t exercise. In the past my ex has been agreeable about letting me choose days that work with my schedule. Now that she’s once again angry she’s taking the days away.

Right now I don’t have the money to pay for a lawyer and file for a modification to pick the visits based on my work schedule but that’s probably what will need to happen should these antics with her continue.

Since she didn't provide the bills as required in the order, it would appear that you are not required to pay. I wouldn't even entertain her with this offer to pay the old bills that she never sent you notice about.

Did you contact the police for an incident report when she withheld the visitation? If she continues to withhold visitation, then you're going to need to go to court with a motion for contempt. You should probably retain an attorney.

 

[Zigner]

Yeah I wish I hadn’t offered to pay already but it was with the stipulation that she provided each bill so I could compare with insurance. Hopefully if she speaks with a lawyer they will advise her to simply do the same.

Your "offer" is not enforceable. You can change your mind at any time.

Yes, I have made three police reports now due to her canceling my visits. She had agreed to these dates but then decides since they’re not the days of the week as outlined in the decree that she can take them away whenever she pleases. Sometimes she even tries to say it’s because my child doesn’t want to come over. I know this would all be because of my ex’s negative influence on her.

So now, I’m sticking to the decree days. I work odd hours and at night so there are a lot of standard visit days that I can’t exercise. In the past my ex has been agreeable about letting me choose days that work with my schedule. Now that she’s once again angry she’s taking the days away.

Right now I don’t have the money to pay for a lawyer and file for a modification to pick the visits based on my work schedule but that’s probably what will need to happen should these antics with her continue.

You're not going to get her in trouble for failing to give you visits that are not ordered in the decree because that is not contempt. In fact, calling the police in that situation is improper.

 

[WhattheHeck19]

Your "offer" is not enforceable. You can change your mind at any time.

True. Thanks.

You're not going to get her in trouble for failing to give you visits that are not ordered in the decree because that is not contempt. In fact, calling the police in that situation is improper.

That’s not correct. The decree states the standard days or “previously agreed upon days” and she had previously agreed to them. Two of the dates I reported are my days per the standard already anyway.

 

[Zigner]

That’s not correct. The decree states the standard days or “previously agreed upon days” and she had previously agreed to them. Two of the dates I reported are my days per the standard already anyway.

Yes, it is correct. If the day is not specifically ordered in the court order, then she's not going to be found in contempt.

 

[WhattheHeck19]

Yes, it is correct. If the day is not specifically ordered in the court order, then she's not going to be found in contempt.

Okay. Well, either way we are talking about medical bills. I’m not looking to file contempt on her. The only thing I’d be interested in possibly filing in the future is modification to adjust visit dates. Thank you for your input.

Anyone else have thoughts on the medical bill portion of the thread?

 

[Zigner]

Anyone else have thoughts on the medical bill portion of the thread?

I gave you the answer above...if the bills weren't submitted to you in a timely manner (per your court order), then you're not responsible for them. You are also free to withdraw your offer to pay for the past medical bills at any time, if you so choose. You are the one who brought up mom's blocking of visitation as retaliation, so I also advised on that.

I'm on your side here From your description, mom is way out of line. I'm just trying to make sure you're on the right path.

 

[WhattheHeck19]

I appreciate that. It’s just been a long 5 plus years dealing with her anger and vindictiveness. Are you or were you an attorney? I’m only asking because I’ve seen so many different thoughts on this matter.

It’s just disgusting to me that she’s spitefully taking away days she said I could see my daughter. She’s definitely out of line. I’m pretty sure my daughter is learning that as well. Sadly I think this will all come back to bite her in the butt in the end. But she’s making her own bed.

 

[LdiJ]

Right now I don’t have the money to pay for a lawyer and file for a modification to pick the visits based on my work schedule but that’s probably what will need to happen should these antics with her continue.

I hate to tell you this, but the odds of a judge giving you the option to pick visits based on your work schedule are not very good. If its a permanent, fixed schedule change the odds are not bad (as long as you are not getting the majority of the non-school days) but if you are talking about a schedule were you get to choose on a weekly/monthly basis the odds will not be in your favor. Its considered to be unfair to the other parent (and the child) because they can never make any plans of their own.

 

[WhattheHeck19]

I hate to tell you this, but the odds of a judge giving you the option to pick visits based on your work schedule are not very good. If its a permanent, fixed schedule change the odds are not bad (as long as you are not getting the majority of the non-school days) but if you are talking about a schedule were you get to choose on a weekly/monthly basis the odds will not be in your favor. Its considered to be unfair to the other parent (and the child) because they can never make any plans of their own.

Several people I know that also work in public safety have been awarded this right. Usually it means having to provide a visit schedule well in advance so everyone can make plans accordingly. We shall see, if I ever get to the point of being able to hire a lawyer. Otherwise I guess it’ll just be visits when I’m able to according to the decree. She used to work with me and my schedule but is now just being Spiteful as usual.