Relocated

[mom29]

What is the name of your state? NV

I was never married to my daughters father. He resides in IL and I resided in MI but moved to NV when our daughter was 2 mos, she is now 3.5 mos. He hired an attorney in MI and is trying to serve me so I have to go back to MI. Can he do this? I currently work and became a resident of NV almost 2mos ago with our daughter. What legal rights does he have as far as taking our daughter away from me? thanks for your time

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? NV

I was never married to my daughters father. He resides in IL and I resided in MI but moved to NV when our daughter was 2 mos, she is now 3.5 mos. He hired an attorney in MI and is trying to serve me so I have to go back to MI. Can he do this? I currently work and became a resident of NV almost 2mos ago with our daughter. What legal rights does he have as far as taking our daughter away from me? thanks for your time

You really need to consult with an attorney in MI. Personally, I think it would be really iffy for him to be able to force you to return to a state where he doesn't reside either. There has been a lot of argument on this board whether or not that is possible, but I don't know how many actual cases have been presented where it has happened. What was the actual distance between the two of you previously?

 

[mom29]

relocated

we lived 6 hours apart (MI to IL). I consulted with an attorney in NV and I believe the father is going to be served sometime next week, however in the meantime, if I get served first, do I have to go back to MI? I am within my 90 days at work (I make a great living and do not need the fathers money) and would hate to lose it because of all this constant battle over custody. I never denied him of visitation, but he wants more - full custody. Someone came to my home on friday to serve me - I was not home at the time,but the nanny was. My attorney told me to leave for the weekend, so I do not get served. I am afraid to go home and currently staying with my best friend with my daughter to avoid being served. I do not know what to do and am scared that if he serves me, I will be forced to go back to MI. I guess my question is, if I am served, do i have to go back to MI or can my attorney file some type of motion so the case can be heard here. Remember, my daughter's father (we were never married) is trying for full custody. He originally wanted to put her up for adoption but I wanted to keep her in which pretty much angered him.

 

[LdiJ]

we lived 6 hours apart (MI to IL). I consulted with an attorney in NV and I believe the father is going to be served sometime next week, however in the meantime, if I get served first, do I have to go back to MI? I am within my 90 days at work (I make a great living and do not need the fathers money) and would hate to lose it because of all this constant battle over custody. I never denied him of visitation, but he wants more - full custody.

With there already being a six hour distance between the two of you prior to the move I honestly think it would be extremely difficult for him to get a judge to order you to return to MI. HOWEVER....MI could still have jurisdiction of the case at this point therefore you WOULD have to travel to MI for court. Courts however are being pretty good these days about allowing parents to appear "telephonically" for alot of the preliminary hearings...so you might not have to travel as much as you think.

I know that in the past NV had a six week residency requirement, rather than the six months that is normal in most states, therefore there may be a chance that NV would take jurisdiction, however your NV attorney can best advise you there.

 

[mom29]

thank you. I truly appreciate the great advice.

 

[mom29]

one more thing, do you think he would get full custody of our daughter?

 

[LdiJ]

one more thing, do you think he would get full custody of our daughter?

Honestly no, I don't. In the first place courts almost never give full custody to either parent. Its usually some form of joint legal custody (joint decision making). In the second place, despite issues of equity a court rarely removes a baby from its mother unless the mother can be proven legally unfit.
In the third place...and this is most relevant to YOUR issue....the most common reason for a custody change (absent of fitness issues) is one parent arbitrarily moving away from the other parent without proper permission from either the other parent or the court.

Therefore, if you and dad had lived in the same community....and you made an arbitrary move to NV without permission from either dad or the court...unless you moved back you could risk losing custody. However you and dad not only didn't live in the same community, but didn't live in the same state and the distance was 6 hours. I think it would be difficult for an MI judge to justify requiring you to move back to MI to retain custody.

In addition...there is the issue that you may have legally established residency in NV prior to his filing in MI. (again, you need to verify that with your attorney)...therefore it might even be difficult for an MI judge to justify taking jurisdiction to hear the case.

Nevertheless, at the same time you do need to both accept and recognize that he is the father and he does have rights. Its highly possible that you could be required to bear the majority of the burden for expenses to facilitate your child both developing and maintaining a relationship with the father. Its unlikely that the whole burden would fall on your shoulders since you were 6 hours apart to start with...but you did make it more complicated by moving an even greater distance...so you need to be prepared to accept that.

 

[mom29]

I agree with you 100%. i never denied him to see our daughter, when i lived in MI, i was always the one driving back and forth so he could see her, not himtold him before i moved to nv that he could see her anytime and i would fly back and forth every so months just so he could see her and keep that relationship flowing. However, he is making it extremely difficult for me by calling my friends and family saying I am trying to extort money from him (i never asked him for a dime) and other malicious/untrue things about me just so he can try to establish full custody. he even had someone pull my credit for unknown reasons and people i do not know ready to testify that i am an unfit mother. I don't see how being i have a respectable job making 75k, never did drugs, do not smoke, finished college with a BA in Business Economics, and the list can go on, so it would be difficult to prove I'm unfit. but he keeps putting more stress on my life making it more difficult to even talk to him by his constant threats and harassments- if that makes any sense. despite everything going on, he has never once asked how she is doing, it's always you you you....

But to summarize this all up, i have no problem with him having visitations, it's just i do not want for him to have full custody and for me never to see my daughter again (in which he really is striving for). I just want our daughter to grow up in a positive environment, be extremely happy, healthy and successful in whatever she decides to do in life.

i truly appreciate your advice and it is very helpful. i have not slept in 2 days and the past month i've slept uneasy. I am really trying to do everything legally, but it seems that he keeps trying to throw a "monkey wrench" in it. Again, thanks for your advice.

 

[Chelle0511]

I agree with you 100%. i never denied him to see our daughter, when i lived in MI, i was always the one driving back and forth so he could see her, not himtold him before i moved to nv that he could see her anytime and i would fly back and forth every so months just so he could see her and keep that relationship flowing. However, he is making it extremely difficult for me by calling my friends and family saying I am trying to extort money from him (i never asked him for a dime) and other malicious/untrue things about me just so he can try to establish full custody. he even had someone pull my credit for unknown reasons and people i do not know ready to testify that i am an unfit mother. I don't see how being i have a respectable job making 75k, never did drugs, do not smoke, finished college with a BA in Business Economics, and the list can go on, so it would be difficult to prove I'm unfit. but he keeps putting more stress on my life making it more difficult to even talk to him by his constant threats and harassments- if that makes any sense. despite everything going on, he has never once asked how she is doing, it's always you you you....

But to summarize this all up, i have no problem with him having visitations, it's just i do not want for him to have full custody and for me never to see my daughter again (in which he really is striving for). I just want our daughter to grow up in a positive environment, be extremely happy, healthy and successful in whatever she decides to do in life.

i truly appreciate your advice and it is very helpful. i have not slept in 2 days and the past month i've slept uneasy. I am really trying to do everything legally, but it seems that he keeps trying to throw a "monkey wrench" in it. Again, thanks for your advice.

~Well, try to get some rest this evening it sounds as if you need it. This guy is not going to be able to take this child from you as long as you are the responsible and loving parent that you have stated. Was paternity established? Was there ever a legal agreement between the two of you since you were not married? Giving legal visitation, custody, child support anything? If not, I can't see him being able to make you move back. However, you will probably have to pay for full travel cost and be prepared that he will have the child most of her summers, school breaks, alternationg holidays etc. As stated by one other, just remember that this is your daughter's daddy and she needs him just as she needs you

 

[Phnx02]

we lived 6 hours apart (MI to IL). I consulted with an attorney in NV and I believe the father is going to be served sometime next week, however in the meantime, if I get served first, do I have to go back to MI? I am within my 90 days at work (I make a great living and do not need the fathers money) and would hate to lose it because of all this constant battle over custody. I never denied him of visitation, but he wants more - full custody. Someone came to my home on friday to serve me - I was not home at the time,but the nanny was. My attorney told me to leave for the weekend, so I do not get served. I am afraid to go home and currently staying with my best friend with my daughter to avoid being served. I do not know what to do and am scared that if he serves me, I will be forced to go back to MI. I guess my question is, if I am served, do i have to go back to MI or can my attorney file some type of motion so the case can be heard here. Remember, my daughter's father (we were never married) is trying for full custody. He originally wanted to put her up for adoption but I wanted to keep her in which pretty much angered him.

Sounds like you have a good attorney. He should be able to answer alot of your questions. If you do get served to appear in MI, your attorney can file motions or even a continuance on your behalf so you don't have to appear at that time. Then hopefully, you can get the case transferred to NV or at least have more time to strategize the next step. Hang in there!