• FreeAdvice has a new Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, effective May 25, 2018.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our Terms of Service and use of cookies.

Relocating With Kids from a Previous Marriage

Accident - Bankruptcy - Criminal Law / DUI - Business - Consumer - Employment - Family - Immigration - Real Estate - Tax - Traffic - Wills   Please click a topic or scroll down for more.

Dandmesmile14

Junior Member
What I am a military wife who will PCSing to Texas the first of next year. I have primary physical custody of two children from a previous marriage, and am trying to find the fairest way to modify our, now, custody agreement. We currently live twelve hours apart and meet halfway every weekend adjacent to a federal holiday, as well as alternate Thanksgiving, Christmas, Spring Break, and a month in the summer. Since we will now be living further apart, is there anyone out there in my situation who has come up with a parenting schedule that works well for them. Right now, we are responsible for all of our own costs as they relate to travel. Now that airfare will more than likely be involved, who is responsible? Also, as my children are minors (12 and 6), am I going to be expected to let them travel unsupervised? Is it unreasonable to expect him to come sometimes to where we will be living to visit. He never came to our current city to visit their schools or attend their activities in the four years we have lived here, with the exception of the one time he was here in an effort to get his child support reduced. I just want to modify the agreement so that it is both amicable and fair. Any feedback from people who have been in this situation, or who know the law, would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!
 


justalayman

Senior Member
Now that airfare will more than likely be involved, who is responsible?
there is a good chance that if it goes to court you will be since you are creating the additional distance BUT, what does your current order actually say to travel expenses and



what state is this (the actual order) in?
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
What I am a military wife who will PCSing to Texas the first of next year. I have primary physical custody of two children from a previous marriage, and am trying to find the fairest way to modify our, now, custody agreement. We currently live twelve hours apart and meet halfway every weekend adjacent to a federal holiday, as well as alternate Thanksgiving, Christmas, Spring Break, and a month in the summer. Since we will now be living further apart, is there anyone out there in my situation who has come up with a parenting schedule that works well for them. Right now, we are responsible for all of our own costs as they relate to travel. Now that airfare will more than likely be involved, who is responsible?
Generally the parent who moves away... but who moved the first time?

Also, as my children are minors (12 and 6), am I going to be expected to let them travel unsupervised?
I'd be insisting on it (as much as possible, anyway) being that way. They're 12 and 6 - they fit marvellously into the UM category.

Is it unreasonable to expect him to come sometimes to where we will be living to visit.
You're making the distance - is it not a tad unreasonable to expect him to be inconvenienced?

He never came to our current city to visit their schools or attend their activities in the four years we have lived here, with the exception of the one time he was here in an effort to get his child support reduced. I just want to modify the agreement so that it is both amicable and fair. Any feedback from people who have been in this situation, or who know the law, would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!
Military moves are by far the most likely to be approved even in states where the presumption is against relocation. In your case you're already 12 hours away, so if you come up with a decent plan which doesn't reduce his visitation, you'd stand a decent chance.

This is one for an attorney though.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
What I am a military wife who will PCSing to Texas the first of next year. I have primary physical custody of two children from a previous marriage, and am trying to find the fairest way to modify our, now, custody agreement. We currently live twelve hours apart and meet halfway every weekend adjacent to a federal holiday, as well as alternate Thanksgiving, Christmas, Spring Break, and a month in the summer. Since we will now be living further apart, is there anyone out there in my situation who has come up with a parenting schedule that works well for them. Right now, we are responsible for all of our own costs as they relate to travel. Now that airfare will more than likely be involved, who is responsible? Also, as my children are minors (12 and 6), am I going to be expected to let them travel unsupervised? Is it unreasonable to expect him to come sometimes to where we will be living to visit. He never came to our current city to visit their schools or attend their activities in the four years we have lived here, with the exception of the one time he was here in an effort to get his child support reduced. I just want to modify the agreement so that it is both amicable and fair. Any feedback from people who have been in this situation, or who know the law, would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!
The best way to handle things is to try to find a way to make the existing schedule work with the increased distanced. I suspect that is going to mean air travel. If your existing orders state that you are to share travel expenses 50/50, then that is what you will still have to do. How far are you increasing the distance? You say were you are going, but you don't say where you and dad live now.
 

single317dad

Senior Member
We currently live twelve hours apart and meet halfway every weekend adjacent to a federal holiday... Right now, we are responsible for all of our own costs as they relate to travel. Now that airfare will more than likely be involved
12 hours? I can be in Dallas, Jacksonville, or Syracuse in 12 hours. These kids should probably already be flying. I can't imagine it's much more expensive, and would probably be more enjoyable for them.

Is it unreasonable to expect him to come sometimes to where we will be living to visit.
Yes, unless he agrees to do so.
 

Dandmesmile14

Junior Member
there is a good chance that if it goes to court you will be since you are creating the additional distance BUT, what does your current order actually say to travel expenses and



what state is this (the actual order) in?
Thank you for your response. The current order states that we are responsible for our own travel costs, but since it will probably be more feasible to fly because of the distance, I am wondering who will be responsible for the children's airfaire for visits OR whether it would be unreasonable to expect him to travel to where they will be living.
 

Dandmesmile14

Junior Member
12 hours? I can be in Dallas, Jacksonville, or Syracuse in 12 hours. These kids should probably already be flying. I can't imagine it's much more expensive, and would probably be more enjoyable for them.



Yes, unless he agrees to do so.
Lol. You might be right! I currently drive half way to meet him, but again, this won't be feasible this time around.
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
Thank you for your response. The current order states that we are responsible for our own travel costs, but since it will probably be more feasible to fly because of the distance, I am wondering who will be responsible for the children's airfaire for visits OR whether it would be unreasonable to expect him to travel to where they will be living.

You're moving further away - yes, I believe it's at least somewhat unreasonable to add to his costs and inconvenience. There's no reason why they can't visit him in his locale.
 

Dandmesmile14

Junior Member
The best way to handle things is to try to find a way to make the existing schedule work with the increased distanced. I suspect that is going to mean air travel. If your existing orders state that you are to share travel expenses 50/50, then that is what you will still have to do. How far are you increasing the distance? You say were you are going, but you don't say where you and dad live now.

Thanks for your response. We will be increasing the distance by about 8 hours, and currently reside in GA. As for sharing the travel expenses, that seems reasonable.
 

Dandmesmile14

Junior Member
Generally the parent who moves away... but who moved the first time?



I'd be insisting on it (as much as possible, anyway) being that way. They're 12 and 6 - they fit marvellously into the UM category.



You're making the distance - is it not a tad unreasonable to expect him to be inconvenienced?



Military moves are by far the most likely to be approved even in states where the presumption is against relocation. In your case you're already 12 hours away, so if you come up with a decent plan which doesn't reduce his visitation, you'd stand a decent chance.

This is one for an attorney though.
You are right. I am making the distance due to my husband receiving orders to report elsewhere. Although we have not lived in the same place since our divorce, he was actually the one who made the initial move.
 

single317dad

Senior Member
You are right. I am making the distance due to my husband receiving orders to report elsewhere. Although we have not lived in the same place since our divorce, he was actually the one who made the initial move.
It may be a useful negotiation tool to calculate the percentage of distance that each parent created with their move. For example, if you originally lived in Philadelphia, your ex moved to Atlanta, and you're moving to Phoenix, distance would be 1845 miles, but your move was 2342 miles while ex's was 783. Therefore ask the ex to cover 25% of travel expenses. Plug your own numbers in for relevant results.
 

Dandmesmile14

Junior Member
Parenting Plan Ideas Needed!!!!

Thank you, again, for you all taking the time to respond to my questions. Again, the father and I have not lived in the same state since our divorce, with him being the one who decided that family life was not for him and moved 8 hours away without ever discussing the impact that it would have on our child who was already here, much less the one on the way. Our current parenting plan allows for 7 weekends a month, including Father's Day, and major alternating holidays (Xmas, Thanksgiving, Spring Break, 30 days in the Summer). We both drive from our various states and are responsible for our own travel costs. Also, when I eventually remarried someone in the military, I quickly learned that you are sent where you are needed, as opposed to where you may wish to go. I am trying to come up with a plan to propose to my ex that is mutually agreeable. His main concern will probably be cost more than time. He rarely utilizes all his weekends now, or the entire time that is allowed in the summer. Our parenting plan does not require that I have to have his approval to move, but does require that I give him 30 days notice with any address change. Accordingy, are there any mothers or fathers out there who are in similar situations that already have a plan that works well for both families involved. My concern is the division of time in situations where weekends are no longer feasible. I realize that he will probably get more time in the summer but does he typically get all of the Christmas Break every year, as opposed to alternating years and times as we do now. Again, if there someone who has a good plan in place and wouldn't mind sharing, I'd really appreciate it!
 

Ladyback1

Senior Member
Thank you, again, for you all taking the time to respond to my questions. Again, the father and I have not lived in the same state since our divorce, with him being the one who decided that family life was not for him and moved 8 hours away without ever discussing the impact that it would have on our child who was already here, much less the one on the way. Our current parenting plan allows for 7 weekends a month, including Father's Day, and major alternating holidays (Xmas, Thanksgiving, Spring Break, 30 days in the Summer). We both drive from our various states and are responsible for our own travel costs. Also, when I eventually remarried someone in the military, I quickly learned that you are sent where you are needed, as opposed to where you may wish to go. I am trying to come up with a plan to propose to my ex that is mutually agreeable. His main concern will probably be cost more than time. He rarely utilizes all his weekends now, or the entire time that is allowed in the summer. Our parenting plan does not require that I have to have his approval to move, but does require that I give him 30 days notice with any address change. Accordingy, are there any mothers or fathers out there who are in similar situations that already have a plan that works well for both families involved. My concern is the division of time in situations where weekends are no longer feasible. I realize that he will probably get more time in the summer but does he typically get all of the Christmas Break every year, as opposed to alternating years and times as we do now. Again, if there someone who has a good plan in place and wouldn't mind sharing, I'd really appreciate it!
oh if only the month was made up of 7 weekends! LoL
(I assume you meant something else??)
 

CJane

Senior Member
My husband and I are currently in Washington, and our exes are in Missouri and Ohio. The parenting plan for my children is currently in flux, but the one for his kids is:

Every other year, the children spend all of Christmas break (from the day after school gets out til the day before it starts) with their Mother. They spend every other Spring Break with her, and 6 weeks in the summer. She is welcome to visit them anytime she likes, in Washington. They split the cost of transportation, and have since she moved to Ohio from Leavenworth. That didn't change with the increase in cost because the children will be flying now.
 

Find the Right Lawyer for Your Legal Issue!

Fast, Free, and Confidential
data-ad-format="auto">
Top