Relocation Question

[ReneeCT]

What is the name of your state? CT

My husband has primary residence of his 6 year old son. The mother currently has no overnight visits and a few visits during the week and every other Sat. & Sun. We went to court about 2 1/2 months ago to try and move to South Carolina. At that time the mother had a very large child support bill and agreed that if she didn't have to pay child support that we could move and she would pay half of transportation instead. We worked out the visitation and everything through mediation. They finally went before the judge and agreed. Signed by the judge and everything 2 months ago. Well today she came to pick him up for visitation and the vehicle she was in was supposedly not registered or insured and the person driving does not have a very good rep. (drugs) So my husband asked to see the registraion and she ignored him. HE said if she showed him the registration then he could go or he would bring Colin to her house if she gave him gas money. Well she flew off thew the handle with F words and swares. ALSO THE CHILD WAS NOT AROUND DURING THIS!! We pretty much new to make sure he was inside before he comfronted her. She went on screaming and everything and said that she is going to take him back to court to "Put a damper on all of your plans". Basically meaning moving. We already had a closing on a house there and everything and are all already to go for July since the agreement says we are moving in July. My question is is there anything she can do to try and keep us here? I understand she could file to modify the order or even for contempt for not letting him go today. Is there anything else she could do. Thanks so much! Renee

 

[Mbarr77]

What is the name of your state? CT

My husband has primary residence of his 6 year old son. The mother currently has no overnight visits and a few visits during the week and every other Sat. & Sun. We went to court about 2 1/2 months ago to try and move to South Carolina. At that time the mother had a very large child support bill and agreed that if she didn't have to pay child support that we could move and she would pay half of transportation instead. We worked out the visitation and everything through mediation. They finally went before the judge and agreed. Signed by the judge and everything 2 months ago. Well today she came to pick him up for visitation and the vehicle she was in was supposedly not registered or insured and the person driving does not have a very good rep. (drugs) So my husband asked to see the registraion and she ignored him. HE said if she showed him the registration then he could go or he would bring Colin to her house if she gave him gas money. Well she flew off thew the handle with F words and swares. ALSO THE CHILD WAS NOT AROUND DURING THIS!! We pretty much new to make sure he was inside before he comfronted her. She went on screaming and everything and said that she is going to take him back to court to "Put a damper on all of your plans". Basically meaning moving. We already had a closing on a house there and everything and are all already to go for July since the agreement says we are moving in July. My question is is there anything she can do to try and keep us here? I understand she could file to modify the order or even for contempt for not letting him go today. Is there anything else she could do. Thanks so much! Renee

How or why did dad even ask the mom for proof of her registration?! Is their anything in your agreement that states he has a right to ask her this prior to handing over the child?

 

[ReneeCT]

nope

No it does not say any such thing. But if you had kids would you let your child get into an unregistered and uninsured vehicle? I understand she could file contempt however here in Connecticut that doesn't mean much. We used to take her to court for contempt and nothing was ever done. So anyway, no nothing in the court order. The only reason why we asked her is because the woman who was driving already has a court date for driving her unregistered vehicle and uninsured and when she got pulled over she had her kids for visitation and the police took them.

 

[Mbarr77]

I do have kids actually and I have had my ex ask me for proof of insurance, registration and my drivers license...I also refused to show it to him! He is not a cop, nor does he have any right to question for those things with no reason. Just because the person in the car has a history of driving without registration does not mean that mom does too! Sounds like dad just wanted a reason to deny visitation..Some may disagree with me, but that is my opinion. Yes, she can file contempt and as you say nothing may happen..But, being that you just both reached a new agreement judge may get irritiated to see you all back already

 

[ReneeCT]

Yeah the judge might be.. but here we never have the same judge twice which is crazy. I understand were you are coming from. But this was just a few days ago and the kids went to DCF and the father had to go pick them up... it was not good and then a few days later she comes with that same lady driving thinking we didn't know about it was a little scary. All could picture was something happen. So is there anything she could file to get us from not leaving the state even though she already agreed? Beacuse I thought , correct me if I am wrong that something has to change in the situation since the agreement for them to even consider the modifcation of the parenting plan?

 

[Silverplum]

No it does not say any such thing. But if you had kids would you let your child get into an unregistered and uninsured vehicle? I understand she could file contempt however here in Connecticut that doesn't mean much. We used to take her to court for contempt and nothing was ever done. So anyway, no nothing in the court order. The only reason why we asked her is because the woman who was driving already has a court date for driving her unregistered vehicle and uninsured and when she got pulled over she had her kids for visitation and the police took them.

Yes, I would, if I was under court order to send them. Whether or not the vehicle is legally "road ready" has nothing to do with the safety of the kid/s that I can figure.

But your husband (NOT "we") had better options: discuss it calmly, and offer to drive the kid/s himself or call a cab. Demanding gas money is ridiculously petty.

Your husband blew it.

 

[Mbarr77]

Yeah the judge might be.. but here we never have the same judge twice which is crazy. I understand were you are coming from. But this was just a few days ago and the kids went to DCF and the father had to go pick them up... it was not good and then a few days later she comes with that same lady driving thinking we didn't know about it was a little scary. All could picture was something happen. So is there anything she could file to get us from not leaving the state even though she already agreed? Beacuse I thought , correct me if I am wrong that something has to change in the situation since the agreement for them to even consider the modifcation of the parenting plan?

She can certainly try!! being that dad is already beginning to violate the court order, and add provisions to the court order that does not exist. Could she try again to prevent you from moving, no you would be welcome to move. But, she can certainly try and prevent dad!! A car being unregistered and uninsured does not put the child in any harms way..an accident can happen just as easily if the car is insured!!

 

[ReneeCT]

Yeah I can see where you are coming from. I guess the reason I say "we" is because there was a lontime when she wasn't around and even now that he is always with "US". I understand he isn't my son however he is my stepson and if she got pulled over when they left our house he would freak out. He did try and talk with her and she lives about 20 min. away he didn't demand gas money he simply brought it up. Which I don't know why she freaked out becasue when she is the blowing him off during the weeks she doesn't care then. Anyway, Is there anything she could file to keep us here?

 

[Silverplum]

Yeah I can see where you are coming from. I guess the reason I say "we" is because there was a lontime when she wasn't around and even now that he is always with "US". I understand he isn't my son however he is my stepson and if she got pulled over when they left our house he would freak out. He did try and talk with her and she lives about 20 min. away he didn't demand gas money he simply brought it up. Which I don't know why she freaked out becasue when she is the blowing him off during the weeks she doesn't care then. Anyway, Is there anything she could file to keep us here?

That is not a reason to defy a court order.

"Your Honor, I defied your order because my son would have freaked out if one possibility out of a million had occurred. Since I am completely controlled by what-ifs and by the whims of a child, I felt it best to disobey you."

 

[ReneeCT]

Mbarr... we are still under the previous court order until July and once "WE" move we would never prevent him from seeing her. We are trying to take him away. That is what is best for him to be able to see her. Filing contempt wont keep us here I know that already... also filing modification wont either because she knows she doesn't have a leg to stand on. I feel if you knew the whole story about the situation then you would feel different. I guess my question is.. is there any automatic court document she can file to make us stay here?

 

[Silverplum]

Mbarr... we are still under the previous court order until July and once "WE" move we would never prevent him from seeing her. We are trying to take him away. That is what is best for him to be able to see her. Filing contempt wont keep us here I know that already... also filing modification wont either because she knows she doesn't have a leg to stand on. I feel if you knew the whole story about the situation then you would feel different. I guess my question is.. is there any automatic court document she can file to make us stay here?

*FEELINGS* do not matter one bit. What matters is the LAW and the COURT ORDERS.

There is nothing to understand. "The whole story" is that your husband disobeyed a court order.

 

[ReneeCT]

Well I guess no one is going to answer my question************** !! Please tell me .. if they got in an accident like you did metion already.. and there is no insurance and it is her fault who is going to pay those medical bills?? Like I said I am not worried about the contempt.

 

[ReneeCT]

Also he called the family services unit here in CT and they said that is a good reason for him not to go... they completely understood where he is coming from. Some man must have really pissed you ladies off... you sound really bitter!!!

 

[Mbarr77]

Well I guess no one is going to answer my question************** !! Please tell me .. if they got in an accident like you did metion already.. and there is no insurance and it is her fault who is going to pay those medical bills?? Like I said I am not worried about the contempt.

The medical bills would be paid by whatever health insurance the child carries! If you are not worried about your husband being charged with contempt, then don't worry about the other either..just see what happens

 

[Mbarr77]

Also he called the family services unit here in CT and they said that is a good reason for him not to go... they completely understood where he is coming from. Some man must have really pissed you ladies off... you sound really bitter!!!

Nope, my ex did not nor does not piss me off in the least because he is my ex and I do not have to deal with him..what pisses me off is step parents that think they have the right to act like a childs actual biological parent, and acts all holier than tho!