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kansas-male, divorced 2 1/2 yrs, physical custody of 2 girls 7-12. Ex has standard visitation...every other weekend, revolvoing holidays, 2 night a wk for 3 hours, one month in summer. DIvorce decree stated I can't move for 2 years...expired on April 15, 2001. Kids are doing great, A students...happy...well adjusted under circumstances. Mother has never taken the kids on any holiday...kept them 3 days in the past two summers. Is behind 11 months on child support....owes $1,800 in 1/2 of uncovered medical bills.

My question: I wish to relocate for two reasons. 1. There are few options in this small town for my trade and moving to a large city would increase my options and increase my pay. 2. I have met someone and wish to pursue a serious relationship with them.

Kids don't like the idea of being away from their mom but understand. Ex has stated she will follow us when we move which is fine with me. My reasons for moving are not to limit her time with the kids...so...do I have to go back to court and get the judges permission?

I tried to make this as short as possible...thanks for your help


Senior Member
if the ex is willing to allow the relocation, then you do not have to go back to court for it. if you get her approval, get it in writing and forward it to the courthouse. otherwise, she could come back after you move and possibly force you to move back.

if it gets forced to court, you need to really watch how you present the case. your reasons need to show why it would be in the best interest of the kids to move. you might think about it from this point and word it a little different.

the mother has exercised her weekend visitations, but not her extended visitations. since she has not paid her part of the medical expenses, it shows a lack of concern on her part. mentioning the support in a summary, you don't want to appear that money would be a reason. (kind ofyour way of punishing her for not being current, see where i am going with this one?)

you are what the kids rely on for stability and nuturing. you have tried to located employment in your field in your area, but the optins are truly limited. be able to show that you have tried and what is actually available there. also be able to show the options to the place that you want to move. be able to show that you have a job and what benefits it has. how it will better enable you to take care of the kids. provide for them - this is where you could mention that circumstances have not allowed their mother to assist with her support payments and you need the additional income to support the kids. but remember, have the job - not when i get there i will look.

you need to show that the schools were you want move are as good - better - than the schools that they are currently attending. any activites, scouts, ball, etc, are available in the new area. be able to show the community that you will be moving the children to, the house, etc. if there is family there. things of that nature.

the last thing that you want your case to depend upon is the fact that you have met someone new and want to pursue the relationship. wanting to pursue the relationship does not constitute a "stable and secure" relationship. you don't want your case to ride on this one.

also have a new parenting plan that will allow visitation to the other parent. also allowing for the costs of transportation for that visitation. you are suppose to give more time than what the NCP has now.

i was told that since you are the one wishing to relocate that you will be the one that should do the most bending, being very flexible. but another poster pointed out that you do want to leave yourself with some negotiating room, so don't give everything away.

and stress that your reasons are not to limit her time with the kids.

if the NCP is willing, just draw up a new parenting plan and get her to sign off on it. you can also address a cover letter to the judge requesting his signature to enfore the new parenting plan along with the reason. a planned relocation that is in agreement with both parents. when the judge signs off on it - you are covered and there isn't a lot that she can do about it.

if you move with her okay - she could come back and make things miserable for you. also - a signed paper between two parents that has not been signed off by a judge is basically worthless. so when she signs - get it to the judge and signed off.

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