remarried and pregnant w/child that may not be his

[thirdtimearound]

What is the name of your state? Utah

This is my story. Married for ten years, then we divorced for less than 10 months. During this 10 month span we each dated other people, and actually I married this other guy for less than 2 months- my former husband of ten years and I ended up working things out. Now I am remarried happily to my former husband of ten years, he knows I am pregnant and he also knows there is a huge possibility this child is not biologically his. But that does not matter to him- we already have two boys of our own, and he wants to raise this one under his name, with full parental rights- which is perfectly fine with me. Here is the problem- first, the other guy I was briefly with didn't want a thing to do with this baby and quite frankly didn't want to accept that it may be his. Now, that I am remarried to my former husband and we are happy, the other guy wants me to give him rights to this child if its potentially his. This sounds bad, but he originally told me (actually yelled) that he wanted nothing to do with this child and that I better not come after him for any money or child support- now all of a sudden he is heartbroken and wants to have rights. My husband and I are planning on having the birth certificate with my husband listed as the father- with full parental rights. How far can the other guy push this issue? I am asking because my husband is military, and we are going overseas for five years after the baby is born- I want this cleared up before we leave!!
HELP!!

 

[nextwife]

A child born of a marriage is generally presumed to be the legal child of the husband. Until and unless the biofather petitions for a DNA test, has it, gets the results as positive, he has no rights. At that point he could petition for visitation rights. Not before.

How long until you are moving overseas? If he has no DNA results before your move, he can do nothing to stop it.

 

[lsut1ger]

The biological father of the child has every right to be a part of the baby's life. Listing your current husband on the birth certificate does not automatically convey "full parental rights" as you stated in your post. The biological father can petition the courts after the baby is born to establish the paternity of the child and can also receive visitation rights, joint custody, etc. Unless he is willing to sign over his parental rights and let your husband adopt the child, then there's not much you can do.

 

[lsut1ger]

Question Nextwife...

Does a certain amount of time "elapsing" have any bearing on what rights the biofather may get? I.e. it's been 5 yrs and all of a sudden he's petitioning the court - does this have any bearing on the case?

I guess I'm wondering b/c if I were our poster, I would want to just get this over and done with NOW so as not to totally disrupt the child's or family's life in the future....

 

[nextwife]

For a sitaution such as this, I do not believe there is any form of "statute of limitations" to establish paternal rights. Based on what the poster wrote, my quess is that right now this might be more of an ego issue for the ex BF over losing his relationship rather than a sincere interest in parenting. I only say this because of his reaction and concern about the baby (which is none) prior to her remarrying.

Problem is, if his paternal rights (if the child IS his) are established PRIOR to the move,they may have a problem going.

I might suggest getting a DNA test with your hubby right away once the baby is born. If it IS positive, you can forget about the rest.

 

[thirdtimearound]

nextwife is right

Well the comment from nextwife is correct. The biofather does have a bruised ego, and my husband and I after the baby is born are planning on having a DNA test done, just more for knowing in case any medical issues were to come up later in life. So we will know for sure. ( utah law states that married couples who have a child, it is automatically assumed husband is father on the birth certificate unless my husband signs a "denial of paternity" which he wont do) The other guy who is the probable biodaddy, I know will have a hard time paying child support because of his recent bankruptcy, and child support he is paying now for another child he has plus alimony to an ex-wife. I just want this child to have our last name, and be in a real family- I know that may sound mean, but you should have heard the way he denied it when I first told him I was pregnant with his child. I just know my husband can give this child a stable, financially sound, and family life. I guess I should look at consulting an attorney.???