Request for Information

[Jakeup]

New Hampshire

I am already divorced and have now spent the last 2 years battling my ex-wife in court over our divorce decree relating to monthly payments toward our marital debt.

During a recent Show Cause hearing, my ex-wife asserted she lost her job, she was living in a car, she lost her apartment, and it was all due to my request to have her remanded after she was found in contempt, yet again, for violating judicial orders. The judge also commented on a Financial Affidavit my ex-wife filed which I have never seen.

I am not here to defame my ex-wife but she has a documented history of addiction to pain killers and a criminal history. For example, 3 days prior to our last hearing I called her to request information and her husband told me she couldn't talk because he was rushing her to the hospital for a drug overdose. I have found in the past the only way to get to the truth is to force her to prove her assertions. We are both represented pro se. My ex-wife testified she was filing a change of address with the court and her husband was laid off at about the same time she lost her job. I suspect they were both laid off or fired due to reasons unrelated to court hearings. I have repeatedly requested her current contact information, previous landlord contact information, and previous employer contact information. She refuses to give me any information whatsoever. I do not believe any of that information is privileged.

I am still waiting for the ruling from the Show Cause hearing. How do I compel the respondent to provide me with aforementioned information I am seeking? Should I submit a Written Interrogatory/Request for Admissions or do I have to wait until I file a pleading? Essentially, how can I verify the validity of the assertions made by the respondent? I have not mentioned anything in court about my ex-wife's sorted history. Should I introduce her addiction and criminal history? After 2 years of violating every single judicial order, being remanded by the court for being in contempt, arrested for not appearing to a Show Cause hearing, and refusing to make payments, the court is still affording the respondent every opportunity to circumvent payments. I get the feeling I am doing something wrong. Thanks.

 

[LdiJ]

New Hampshire

I am already divorced and have now spent the last 2 years battling my ex-wife in court over our divorce decree relating to monthly payments toward our marital debt.

During a recent Show Cause hearing, my ex-wife asserted she lost her job, she was living in a car, she lost her apartment, and it was all due to my request to have her remanded after she was found in contempt, yet again, for violating judicial orders. The judge also commented on a Financial Affidavit my ex-wife filed which I have never seen.

I am not here to defame my ex-wife but she has a documented history of addiction to pain killers and a criminal history. For example, 3 days prior to our last hearing I called her to request information and her husband told me she couldn't talk because he was rushing her to the hospital for a drug overdose. I have found in the past the only way to get to the truth is to force her to prove her assertions. We are both represented pro se. My ex-wife testified she was filing a change of address with the court and her husband was laid off at about the same time she lost her job. I suspect they were both laid off or fired due to reasons unrelated to court hearings. I have repeatedly requested her current contact information, previous landlord contact information, and previous employer contact information. She refuses to give me any information whatsoever. I do not believe any of that information is privileged.

I am still waiting for the ruling from the Show Cause hearing. How do I compel the respondent to provide me with aforementioned information I am seeking? Should I submit a Written Interrogatory/Request for Admissions or do I have to wait until I file a pleading? Essentially, how can I verify the validity of the assertions made by the respondent? I have not mentioned anything in court about my ex-wife's sorted history. Should I introduce her addiction and criminal history? After 2 years of violating every single judicial order, being remanded by the court for being in contempt, arrested for not appearing to a Show Cause hearing, and refusing to make payments, the court is still affording the respondent every opportunity to circumvent payments. I get the feeling I am doing something wrong. Thanks.

Realistically, if someone is bound and determined not to pay, they are not going to pay, no matter what the court does to them. If someone is bound and determined not to allow you to know where they live, the same applies.

 

[Jakeup]

No offense but why post a platitude? I posted hoping somebody would be able to provide me some information or point me in the right direction regarding legal steps I can take. Thanks.

 

[LdiJ]

No offense but why post a platitude? I posted hoping somebody would be able to provide me some information or point me in the right direction regarding legal steps I can take. Thanks.

You are taking all of the legal steps that you can take. There isn't anything else that you can do.

 

[tuffbrk]

You can introduce anything you want to the courts about your ex's history (it is spelled "sordid" for your future reference) however, it will justify a shrug shoulders, what can you expect- type of attitude as it highlights how "lost" she currently is and how unrealistic it is of you to expect her to comply with 2yo court orders about bills.

It's not every day that an addict turns into this upstanding citizen that is going to be concerned and responsive to show cause hearings and contempt of court motions amongst trying to get their next fix, losing their job, being evicted, overdosing, being hospitalized, etc. Payment of her portion of marital bills assigned 2 years ago is simply not going to be a priority in her life. There is very little the courts can do because obviously she does not have anything that they can take and they have no way to incent her to do the right thing.

Why do you care about her prior landlord if she was evicted? The same goes for her employer - they are a former employer. What is it that you are hoping to accomplish with any of that information? Proof that she is not a model citizen? Proof that her life is falling apart based upon the poor decisions she is making? Do you want to see her tossed in jail? That won't get her portion of the bills paid. I've no idea what it is that you are hoping to prove/accomplish. You can't get blood from a stone. It is not a platitude, it is a simple fact.

 

[Jakeup]

My reason for requesting this information is strictly so I can verify her testimony which is being used to rule in her favor. Having been married to her for almost a decade, I completely understand what you are saying. It was the reason for our separation. I filed for divorce when she committed adultery.

My problem is I am disabled and on a very limited income. I cannot afford the marital debt on my own. My bank accounts have already been levied and I have bills going to collection. Your advice is to basically do nothing? Perhaps drug abuse really is the answer. You get to lie in court, ignore a Divorce Decree which 2 judges, both parties, and the case manager signed, walk away from all previous debts, and experience almost zero consequences to your actions due to a significantly flawed and impotent judicial system. Oh did I neglect to mention she found the money to get remarried, go on a honeymoon, and a subsequent vacation? That doesn't include the money she spends to support her addiction. I am not attempting to extract blood from a stone. I am attempting to compel the respondent to fulfill her contractual, and judicially sanctioned, obligation.

Anybody else have any "legal" advice or steps I can take other than the lay down and die tactic?

P.S. Thanks for the spelling lesson.

 

[LdiJ]

My reason for requesting this information is strictly so I can verify her testimony which is being used to rule in her favor. Having been married to her for almost a decade, I completely understand what you are saying. It was the reason for our separation. I filed for divorce when she committed adultery.

My problem is I am disabled and on a very limited income. I cannot afford the marital debt on my own. My bank accounts have already been levied and I have bills going to collection. Your advice is to basically do nothing? Perhaps drug abuse really is the answer. You get to lie in court, ignore a Divorce Decree which 2 judges, both parties, and the case manager signed, walk away from all previous debts, and experience almost zero consequences to your actions due to a significantly flawed and impotent judicial system. Oh did I neglect to mention she found the money to get remarried, go on a honeymoon, and a subsequent vacation? That doesn't include the money she spends to support her addiction. I am not attempting to extract blood from a stone. I am attempting to compel the respondent to fulfill her contractual, and judicially sanctioned, obligation.

Anybody else have any "legal" advice or steps I can take other than the lay down and die tactic?

P.S. Thanks for the spelling lesson.

Again, other than what you are already doing, I cannot think of anything else that you could do...not that would actually get you any money from her. Maybe you should consider bankruptcy? If her name is on any of the bills that would shove the entire responsibility on to her.