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restraining order

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Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? or

Ok, I went to court to appeal a restraining order of domestic abuse. My ex roommate claimed I had punched her and emotional abuse. I obtained the police report and the judge refused to look at it. In the police report it states where they determined it through the inconsistencies of the ex's story that she was lying because she had a slight redding on her face, and when the officer told her to stay put, the next officer that enter a short time later was unable to locate in the spot she was, but found her in a back room and said I punched her and she has a mark now and wanted me arrested. The "redding" this time was now a knot with purple in the center. The officers looked at my hands and there was no swelling or redness on either on of my hands. However, the judge said it was pretty rediculous that someone would punch themselves and basically I was lying. I thought a police report was a valid document but he said it is just like someone who writes a witness statement. Is that true? When the court was over I went down stairs and request a new hearing and attatched a copy of the police report. Any other advise. Can I take this higher up? I was on the phone with the 911 when she started hitting herself and she was saying oh you hit me.. Please someone try to help with advise. I dont need this restraining order and she lives in nebraska, but when the judge asked why she needed this order if she lives in nebraska she then said, well she doesnt know if she will live there or not.


Senior Member
A judge will often issue a restraining order just to keep two people apart, if it looks like further violence may result without one. In a he said/she said situation, a judge will generally err on the side of caution.

In other words, if the injuries were NOT self-inflicted, then it could be dangerous for the woman not to have a restraining order.

You can certainly appeal the restraining order, using the police report to corroborate, as much as it can, your "side" of what happened. Perhaps you can have one of the officers come in to court as a witness. Then see where it goes.

A police report, however, is only an officer's report of what has been told to him when the call was made (the complaint) and his observations when he arrives. He will make note of the parties' names, addresses and phone numbers, any witnesses to what occurred, and he will make note of any injuries or suspicious marks. An officer may also jot down statements made by those present (these are usually paraphrased, however, and are not always a verbatim 100% accurate account of what was said).

Any impressions an officer may have of the scene, or any conclusions he may draw from what he sees or hears could be jotted down, as well, but these would be treated as opinion only. The officer may have an idea of what happened and express that in the report but, until an investigation into the matter has been completed (if an investigation is ever done), what the officer thinks or feels is neither true nor false. It is opinion and not fact.

The judge must base his decision on the facts that appear on the report only, not on the officer's opinion (although he can certainly take it into account), and he bases it on the statements made in court by the parties involved. Again, however, with he said/she said situations, the judge will almost certainly want to prevent harm. A restraining order is one way to do that.


Junior Member
my concern, is her continuous attempt to contact me and attempt to get me to respond. I want to get a dual, but since I didnt have any physical attacks by her. I cant get a no contact order or can I?


Senior Member
What state do you live in, poohjmb?

It is often possible to get a mutual restraining order, especially when there are conflicting stories about an incident told by the parties involved.

Explain to the judge that this woman is trying to get you to violate the terms of the restraining order through attempts to contact you (if you can provide the judge with evidence of this, that helps, but certainly have a record of the dates and times of these attempted contacts).

Tell the judge that you believe a mutual restraining order will best ensure that this "no-contact" order actually results in no contact by either of the parties.

Getting your current restraining order changed to a mutual restraining order may be easier than trying to appeal the judge's first decision.

Hopefully your ex-roommate will move to Nebraska soon and all will be resolved in that way. :)

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