Restraining order

[doubledown21]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New Jersey

Good Evening.

Quick background: I was in a relationship with a married woman who said she was leaving her husband. Only to find out she was actually having ANOTHER affair at the same time. When i found out I told her I was going to email her husband our text messages as well as the address of the other gentleman she is having an affair with. She has now filed a temporary restraining order in which I have to appear in court in 4 days. Her name is the only one in the plaintiff section, but she also put down her husband's name as well as the other gentleman's name in a different section so I can't have any contact with them as well. Do they have to show up in court as well? If not, will I still be able to contact them afterwards? What do I have to look forward to so I'm not blindsided in this process.

Thank you for your attention to this matter.

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New Jersey

Good Evening.

Quick background: I was in a relationship with a married woman who said she was leaving her husband. Only to find out she was actually having ANOTHER affair at the same time. When i found out I told her I was going to email her husband our text messages as well as the address of the other gentleman she is having an affair with. She has now filed a temporary restraining order in which I have to appear in court in 4 days. Her name is the only one in the plaintiff section, but she also put down her husband's name as well as the other gentleman's name in a different section so I can't have any contact with them as well. Do they have to show up in court as well? If not, will I still be able to contact them afterwards? What do I have to look forward to so I'm not blindsided in this process.

Thank you for your attention to this matter.

(I'll say "you're welcome" first because you're not going to thank me for the following...)

Goodness gracious me. Was your masculinity really so threatened that you wanted to tell all of her other Toms, Dicks and Harrys about your relationship? Come now my good man. Let's be sensible. She played you all, and she's still doing it - y'know why? Because you're the one who's going to get painted with the "OMG what a stalker!" brush.

Go to court, say you're sorry, and walk away. Unless you want to actually prove you're a threat, anyway.

 

[Eekamouse]

What do you hope to achieve by outing her to her other lovers? You found out. I think it's reasonable to assume the others will eventually figure it out themselves, too. You're letting your bitterness and anger get the better of your common sense.

 

[TigerD]

Love the irony.

You are involved with a married woman and are offended that she is cheating on you too. How could you not see that coming?

DC

 

[Just Blue]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New Jersey

Good Evening.

Quick background: I was in a relationship with a married woman who said she was leaving her husband. Only to find out she was actually having ANOTHER affair at the same time. When i found out I told her I was going to email her husband our text messages as well as the address of the other gentleman she is having an affair with. She has now filed a temporary restraining order in which I have to appear in court in 4 days. Her name is the only one in the plaintiff section, but she also put down her husband's name as well as the other gentleman's name in a different section so I can't have any contact with them as well. Do they have to show up in court as well? If not, will I still be able to contact them afterwards? What do I have to look forward to so I'm not blindsided in this process.

Thank you for your attention to this matter.

If you continue on the path you are on you can "look forward to" a jail term.

Let it go. Let HER GO.

 

[Ladyback1]

A wise person once told me: "If they will cheat to be with you, they will cheat on you"

That little nugget has served me well in my 40+ years of life.

Now, unless you are a stalker....you should just let this nasty little bit of business die a quick death and MOVE ON!

 

[doubledown21]

Trust me. I WANT this to go away. I was stupid and jealous, but I needed to find out the truth about it just to prove a point that she's a liar.

Should I bring a lawyer with me?

 

[quincy]

Trust me. I WANT this to go away. I was stupid and jealous, but I needed to find out the truth about it just to prove a point that she's a liar.

Should I bring a lawyer with me?

It wouldn't hurt to bring a lawyer with you. It is sometimes hard not to respond negatively to someone you feel negatively toward, and this works against you if you are looking to prove a restraining order is not necessary. The attorney can speak for you.

The attorney will advise you on how best to present yourself in court (attitude, attire, what to say, what not to say).

 

[doubledown21]

It wouldn't hurt to bring a lawyer with you. It is sometimes hard not to respond negatively to someone you feel negatively toward, and this works against you if you are looking to prove a restraining order is not necessary. The attorney can speak for you.

The attorney will advise you on how best to present yourself in court (attitude, attire, what to say, what not to say).

Thank you for your input

 

[latigo]

Trust me. I WANT this to go away. I was stupid and jealous, but I needed to find out the truth about it just to prove a point that she's a liar.

Should I bring a lawyer with me?

You should have brought a lawyer into this long before now as you cannot afford to have the stigma of an RO on your resume. They can be quasi-criminal and carry some very ugly and restrictive consequences.

What I would have you do in order to avoid the risk putting the matter in the hands of a judge is to un-bow your neck and make whatever promises and assurances necessary to convince her that her actions are not required and voluntarily dismiss her petition..

BUT under no circumstances should you allow such an order to be entered without strongly resisting her application. And please do not think that you are capable of asserting a viable legal defense because you aren't.

Frankly, if the grounds for her petition are limited to your threats to expose her infidelity, I don't see where that alone would be the proper subject of a restraining order. All of which leads me to suspect that it contains much more than you've revealed or fully understand.

But whatever, don't fall over and play dead. There tons of men who think it of little concern and then wake up to the fact that they can find work or own a firearm, etc., etc.