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Restraining Orders

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sloanemom

Junior Member
#1
Well, were getting up to the date of our next RO. Quick background: my son 17 yrs old and his GF, 17, were sexting. When GF's mother found out, she told her that my son 'made her do it'. MO filed RO with all these other allegations on it. We got our lawyer and our lawyer told us to just accept it and just stay have no contact with the girl and in a year, it will go away. No harm no foul. So we took his advice. Oh, they filed in adult court.

First year, the girl made 7 false allegations that our son broke the RO. We were in and out of court all year. We had proof where he was at all times during this time and all charges were dropped.

The family also sued my son for their lawyer fees, and won. This was because our Lawyer told the judge that they were asking to much so the judge just lowered it. But my 17 yr old still lost.

We ended up getting a new lawyer as it seemed our current lawyer was giving us bad advice. So we hired another lawyer in case they asked to continue with the RO for another year. Our new EXPENSIVE lawyer basically said, dont worry, we have enough.

So we went to court and the lawyer brought up the affidavit to question them on it. Which anyone knows, you dont focus on a past case, you focus on the new one. So the judge said "well, they never fought the RO from the beginning". The judge then said, "I dont have time to hear all this, Im granting them another RO" (the judge we had in most of this case excused himself from this, I dont know why)

So the year was up and all things were quiet and we just assumed the RO would end on its own. But apparently, they went to court and our past lawyer never gave us the next court date. We didnt get anything in the mail.

I got at knock at the door by the police and they issued another RO.

We now have a court date coming up and I am flat broke. I cant afford another attorney for my son, and I am thinking of not even getting a lawyer. Both lawyers messed my son case up. I could of done a better job myself. I even have proof she didn't feel that unsafe, as she continued to post her whereabouts on social media with her Mother commenting on the photos,

Has anyone ever tried their own case without a lawyer?

Plus, if I cant do that, can my son get a court appointed lawyer? I realize it a 'civil case', but having a RO in place for three years is crazy. They were both juveniles at the time and now they are both adults.
 


quincy

Senior Member
#3
Well, were getting up to the date of our next RO. Quick background: my son 17 yrs old and his GF, 17, were sexting. When GF's mother found out, she told her that my son 'made her do it'. MO filed RO with all these other allegations on it. We got our lawyer and our lawyer told us to just accept it and just stay have no contact with the girl and in a year, it will go away. No harm no foul. So we took his advice. Oh, they filed in adult court.

First year, the girl made 7 false allegations that our son broke the RO. We were in and out of court all year. We had proof where he was at all times during this time and all charges were dropped.

The family also sued my son for their lawyer fees, and won. This was because our Lawyer told the judge that they were asking to much so the judge just lowered it. But my 17 yr old still lost.

We ended up getting a new lawyer as it seemed our current lawyer was giving us bad advice. So we hired another lawyer in case they asked to continue with the RO for another year. Our new EXPENSIVE lawyer basically said, dont worry, we have enough.

So we went to court and the lawyer brought up the affidavit to question them on it. Which anyone knows, you dont focus on a past case, you focus on the new one. So the judge said "well, they never fought the RO from the beginning". The judge then said, "I dont have time to hear all this, Im granting them another RO" (the judge we had in most of this case excused himself from this, I dont know why)

So the year was up and all things were quiet and we just assumed the RO would end on its own. But apparently, they went to court and our past lawyer never gave us the next court date. We didnt get anything in the mail.

I got at knock at the door by the police and they issued another RO.

We now have a court date coming up and I am flat broke. I cant afford another attorney for my son, and I am thinking of not even getting a lawyer. Both lawyers messed my son case up. I could of done a better job myself. I even have proof she didn't feel that unsafe, as she continued to post her whereabouts on social media with her Mother commenting on the photos,

Has anyone ever tried their own case without a lawyer?

Plus, if I cant do that, can my son get a court appointed lawyer? I realize it a 'civil case', but having a RO in place for three years is crazy. They were both juveniles at the time and now they are both adults.
It is possible to handle a restraining order hearing on your own - but it is not the preferred way to go.

Your son should have all of his evidence and any witnesses with him in court.

It is possible that the attorneys your son had did the best they could against that particular judge or those judges.

Good luck.
 
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LdiJ

Senior Member
#4
Well, were getting up to the date of our next RO. Quick background: my son 17 yrs old and his GF, 17, were sexting. When GF's mother found out, she told her that my son 'made her do it'. MO filed RO with all these other allegations on it. We got our lawyer and our lawyer told us to just accept it and just stay have no contact with the girl and in a year, it will go away. No harm no foul. So we took his advice. Oh, they filed in adult court.

First year, the girl made 7 false allegations that our son broke the RO. We were in and out of court all year. We had proof where he was at all times during this time and all charges were dropped.

The family also sued my son for their lawyer fees, and won. This was because our Lawyer told the judge that they were asking to much so the judge just lowered it. But my 17 yr old still lost.

We ended up getting a new lawyer as it seemed our current lawyer was giving us bad advice. So we hired another lawyer in case they asked to continue with the RO for another year. Our new EXPENSIVE lawyer basically said, dont worry, we have enough.

So we went to court and the lawyer brought up the affidavit to question them on it. Which anyone knows, you dont focus on a past case, you focus on the new one. So the judge said "well, they never fought the RO from the beginning". The judge then said, "I dont have time to hear all this, Im granting them another RO" (the judge we had in most of this case excused himself from this, I dont know why)

So the year was up and all things were quiet and we just assumed the RO would end on its own. But apparently, they went to court and our past lawyer never gave us the next court date. We didnt get anything in the mail.

I got at knock at the door by the police and they issued another RO.

We now have a court date coming up and I am flat broke. I cant afford another attorney for my son, and I am thinking of not even getting a lawyer. Both lawyers messed my son case up. I could of done a better job myself. I even have proof she didn't feel that unsafe, as she continued to post her whereabouts on social media with her Mother commenting on the photos,

Has anyone ever tried their own case without a lawyer?

Plus, if I cant do that, can my son get a court appointed lawyer? I realize it a 'civil case', but having a RO in place for three years is crazy. They were both juveniles at the time and now they are both adults.
Since your son is now an adult, your son would have to represent himself. You could not do it for him. Do you believe that your son is capable of representing himself?
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
#5
Since your son is now an adult, your son would have to represent himself. You could not do it for him. Do you believe that your son is capable of representing himself?
I posted the prior thread for reference - I believe the son is now 17 - he was 16 when the original RO was issued.
 

quincy

Senior Member
#6
sloanemom can testify.

The son and his female friend were 16 at the time of the first restraining order two years ago. He should be 18 now.
 
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#7
Since your son is now an adult, your son would have to represent himself. You could not do it for him. Do you believe that your son is capable of representing himself?
No, he couldn't do that. He has severe anxiety and I told him we can fight this recent RO and he said no, he doesnt want to go in front of the judge, he is just to anxious.. During the time this all happened, both kids were in a therapeutic school. My son has a dx of PTSD/ anxiety.
 
#8
It is possible to handle a restraining order hearing on your own - but it is not the preferred way to go.

Your son should have all of his evidence and any witnesses with him in court.

It is possible that the attorneys your son had did the best they could against that particular judge or those judges.

Good luck.
no, the first lawyer gave us really bad advice for not fighting the RO in the first place. He really thought it would be a simple case and with all the false allegations, he came to us by someone recommending him. the second laywer told us that he will only focus on the past year and due to no problems it should be listed. However, when he went to court, he thought he was defending OJ simpson. ughhhh! the judge actually said, "I dont have time to hear all this" and then issued it another year. And here we are.
 
#10
sloanemom can testify.

The son and his female friend were 16 at the time of the first restraining order two years ago. He should be 18 now.
Hi Quincy, no, he started dating her at 16, he was 17 when this all happened. He has had the RO in place for three years now with NEVER breaking it.
 
#11
Thank you all for the comments. I just want it to be clear, the RO has been in place for three years. All allegations during the first year were either dismissed or never made it to court. The last two years there has been nothing. He turned 17 when this was going on and he is 20 yr old now. He is an adult. He was on an IEP and was enrolled in a therapeutic school for PTSD/ anxiety. Thats where he met the girl. I have no idea why she was there.

He had to leave his school and never graduated. He spends his day in our backyard where he builds cars because his anxiety is so bad, he wont leave the house. He does go to his therapist, which is good, but this whole thing destroyed him and its heart breaking.
 

cbg

I'm a Northern Girl
#12
The fact remains; he is a legal adult. Unless you have been granted guardianship over him, it is no longer possible for you to act in court on his behalf. You can hire him a lawyer, or he can do it himself, but as he is no longer a minor, he can no longer have a parent represent him unless that parent is him- or herself an attorney.
 

quincy

Senior Member
#13
Thank you all for the comments. I just want it to be clear, the RO has been in place for three years. All allegations during the first year were either dismissed or never made it to court. The last two years there has been nothing. He turned 17 when this was going on and he is 20 yr old now. He is an adult. He was on an IEP and was enrolled in a therapeutic school for PTSD/ anxiety. Thats where he met the girl. I have no idea why she was there.

He had to leave his school and never graduated. He spends his day in our backyard where he builds cars because his anxiety is so bad, he wont leave the house. He does go to his therapist, which is good, but this whole thing destroyed him and its heart breaking.
It appears your son needs to make some choices.

He can hire another attorney and the attorney can try to get the restraining order lifted. Or your son can do nothing and live the way he has been, restraining order in place. Or your son can go to court himself and try to convince the judge that there is no longer a need for the restraining order.

If your son chooses the last, most difficult of the three options, he will want to prepare his evidence well.

Here is a link to Mass.gov on "Massachusetts law about defending against a c.209A order," which has laws and cases and regulations and sources to consult. I think your son could find the information provided helpful.

https://www.mass.gov/info-details/massachusetts-law-about-defending-against-a-c209a-order

Even the best attorneys will struggle trying to keep their clients from having a restraining order issued against them. The standard practice among judges is to issue the orders, in a better-safe-than-sorry attempt to prevent harm. Defending against false claims is never easy but defending against the issuance of a restraining order might be the most difficult task of all.

I wish your son luck with whatever decision he decides to make.
 
#14
It appears your son needs to make some choices.

He can hire another attorney and the attorney can try to get the restraining order lifted. Or your son can do nothing and live the way he has been, restraining order in place. Or your son can go to court himself and try to convince the judge that there is no longer a need for the restraining order.

If your son chooses the last, most difficult of the three options, he will want to prepare his evidence well.

Here is a link to Mass.gov on "Massachusetts law about defending against a c.209A order," which has laws and cases and regulations and sources to consult. I think your son could find the information provided helpful.

https://www.mass.gov/info-details/massachusetts-law-about-defending-against-a-c209a-order

Even the best attorneys will struggle trying to keep their clients from having a restraining order issued against them. The standard practice among judges is to issue the orders, in a better-safe-than-sorry attempt to prevent harm. Defending against false claims is never easy but defending against the issuance of a restraining order might be the most difficult task of all.

I wish your son luck with whatever decision he decides to make.

thank you Quincy, you are always very helpful. We did go to court and to get the transcripts from the last court case but they did not give it to us, because they said the file was 'sealed', but that is not the word they used. (Im assuming because he was a juvenile when all this happened) THe clerk magistrate remembered me, and said he couldn't believe this was still going on. He said the only way he can get the case records is to hire a lawyer.

What I am thinking of doing, is calling their lawyer and just say "look, are they planning on continuing this again and going to court?" not sure if he will tell us, but if says no, then we just go in and hopefully they will just dismiss it.

If he does not give us any information, then I will be looking for another lawyer and maybe put a second mortgage on our house so we can pay for a really good lawyer this time.

I just wish I could find someone who will take the case and then turn it around and sue them for harassment and making false allegations.
 

quincy

Senior Member
#15
Your son could file a petition with the court to have his records temporarily unsealed for the copying of needed documents, or your son could have an attorney file a motion on his behalf. But it is up to the court whether or not to grant the petition.

I understand how you want to help your son and are upset at the situation because your son is upset by the situation. But your son needs to be the one making the decisions on what to do and how to do it, or he needs an attorney advising him.

Having an attorney is not always an option for people because of the cost. It is an unfortunate reality. Check the link I provided earlier for resources that might be available in your area that can lend some free or low cost help.

Good luck.
 
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