Restructuring of child support

[uglytobone]

What is the name of your state? TX

My current arrangement: Joint equal time custody of my 14 yr old daughter. I pay $650/mo + 50% of net company bonuses + 50% of med insurance which works out to about $1200/mo, plus an additional percentage of school expenses (clothes, supplies, etc.), plus 70% of college. Anyway it all works out to what Tx says I should be paying, but I still think my ex got a dang good deal. I pay faithfully-- I am not a DBD.

Anyway the ex is not very practical from a financial standpoint-- probably irresponsible or stupid would be better words-- but I digress. She declared bankruptcy earlier in the year and more recently avoided foreclosure of the house with her parents help. She is telling me now that she would like to restructure the CS so that I am sending a payment directly to the mortgage company and in return forego most of her share of my bonuses. The house payment is about $1000/mo and if I can swing it financially I would prefer to do this for 2 very good reasons: (1) To prevent future foreclosure so that my daughter will not be uprooted from the house she has lived in her whole life, and (2) I have a $7,000 lien on the house. Some problems exist. I had already advanced the ex CS from future bonuses to the tune of about $4000. I have signed receipts from her to prove these payments were made. Changing to the house-payment-for-CS mode would pretty much mean these are just loans and I would probably want these "loans" paid off with the difference between the house payment and the current average montly CS amount.

I would prefer not to change the court order as it stands. Can anyone comment on the pitfalls/advantages of doing so? Can anyone offer any creative solutions to this situation? Are my signed receipts worth anything in a court of law?

Thank you for your advice.

 

[NotSoNew]

i cant really comment on the legality of this, but i wanted to say MY GOD she is getting a lot of child support!

why do you not want to change the court order?

the problem i see is that since you are paying the mortgage directly you will have no proof that these were your CS payments and the court could see them as a gift and you would still owe back CS. perhaps you can both agree to cancel the court order for CS and make this agreement between yourselves so she cant get your for arrearage later?

 

[uglytobone]

I guess that's part of the question. I'm not really sure it would be in my best interest to cancel the current order, unless I could get the CS reduced.

 

[LdiJ]

I guess that's part of the question. I'm not really sure it would be in my best interest to cancel the current order, unless I could get the CS reduced.

Are you ordered to pay through the CS agency?...or to pay the ex directly?

 

[uglytobone]

I am currently ordered to pay the $650 monthly through an agency. The bonus money is paid directly.

 

[mom22boyz]

The biggest prob I see with the arrangement would be if for some reason your net monthly bonus was cut. You would then only owe Ex the 650$, but you would have entered in to a voluntary agreement to pay at least 1000$. I am also pretty sure that any C/S that is paid direct w/out benefit of going through a CSEA for crediting can be construed as a gift. I would always be leary of somebody trying to work the system. Why in the world would Ex want you to pay the mortgage for her? Can she really not deposit your check and write one out for the mortgage w/out "losing" money?

 

[LdiJ]

I am currently ordered to pay the $650 monthly through an agency. The bonus money is paid directly.

Ok...then you can't stop paying the 650.00 monthly without complications....and without new court orders. Otherwise you wouldn't be getting proper credit and arrearages would build up.

The rest you could pay on the mortgage, as long as you get signed reciepts from mom each month....however that obviously wouldn't accomplish what you and mom want to accomplish.

There is at least some chance that you could get it ordered the way you and mom want it...but it definitely would require a trip to court. Most attorneys will tell you it can't be done....however just about anything can be done if both of you are adamant enough about it. My ex and I got a REALLY unusual order put through because we were both adamant about it.

 

[uglytobone]

... Why in the world would Ex want you to pay the mortgage for her? Can she really not deposit your check and write one out for the mortgage w/out "losing" money?

Ex is terrible with money-- you name anything bad you can do financially and she does it. If I make the mortgage payment at least we won't face the possibility of her losing the house until my daughter graduates.

I re-read the divorce decree. It's interesting that the $650 falls under the heading of Child Support, but the bonuses fall under division of property and are to be paid until my daugher graduates HS.

It seems the best thing to do is to work out something informal that doesn't violate the CS provisions of the current decree.

 

[mjpull]

I would be VERY wary of doing anything like that unless it was specifically, to the letter, spelled out in a court order. Anything other than that would be construed as a gift. Anything can and will bite you in the you know where if it isn't spelled out.

 

[mjpull]

i cant really comment on the legality of this, but i wanted to say MY GOD she is getting a lot of child support!

And that IS a LOT of money for one kid.

 

[SingleMom67]

I agree!

And that IS a LOT of money for one kid.

Yes, I agree, that's a nice chunk of support for only one child, especially since you are also paying clothes, school supplies, etc. ON TOP OF THAT!! But I won't go there. If you're okay with the amount, then that's your business.

I believe, however, that if you redirect your child support payments in the form of paying the mortgage, WITHOUT A LEGAL, BINDING DOCUMENT, you're gonna get the short end of the stick. Further, I'm not convinced a judge will even allow it. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to write a check and send it to a mortgage company!!! If she can't do something as simple as that, how can she possibly effectively be taking care of your daughter?!?!?! I realize you have good intentions and want to protect the home in which your daughter (and your ex) live. However, that's not your job!!! She needs to do this!!!! You are enabling your ex by trying to take away what is really her responsibility.

 

[uglytobone]

Yes, I agree, that's a nice chunk of support for only one child, especially since you are also paying clothes, school supplies, etc. ON TOP OF THAT!! But I won't go there. If you're okay with the amount, then that's your business.

I believe, however, that if you redirect your child support payments in the form of paying the mortgage, WITHOUT A LEGAL, BINDING DOCUMENT, you're gonna get the short end of the stick. Further, I'm not convinced a judge will even allow it. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to write a check and send it to a mortgage company!!! If she can't do something as simple as that, how can she possibly effectively be taking care of your daughter?!?!?! I realize you have good intentions and want to protect the home in which your daughter (and your ex) live. However, that's not your job!!! She needs to do this!!!! You are enabling your ex by trying to take away what is really her responsibility.

I don't want anyone to misinterpret-- total CS including 650/mo, bonuses, and med ins is about $1200/mo-- not 650/mo plus an additional 1200/mo. Now I'm curious as to how it was interpretted.

I'm now onboard that any restructuring that might be done needs to be put in a legally binding agreement. I think a judge would allow the arrangement if we requested it since it would be in the best interest of the child and if the ex and I agreed to the arrangement. I could be wrong.

Finances aside the ex is a reasonably competent and involved mother. Personally, I wouldn't miss her if a strong wind came up and blew her away.

Good points about the enabling and responsibility.

Lots to think about here, but now I'm inclined just to leave everything as is.

 

[LdiJ]

I don't want anyone to misinterpret-- total CS including 650/mo, bonuses, and med ins is about $1200/mo-- not 650/mo plus an additional 1200/mo. Now I'm curious as to how it was interpretted.

Your 650 a month is somewhat higher than the average ordinary person might have to pay for child support...therefore that indicates that your income is a bit higher than the average, ordinary person. That is automatically going to make some people react.

You have also mentioned that the 50% of your bonuses was included in the property settlement portion of your agreement....so that indicates that its not really child support....that it perhaps encompasses other issues. Therefore it can confuse some people because you talk about it as if its child support.

I'm now onboard that any restructuring that might be done needs to be put in a legally binding agreement. I think a judge would allow the arrangement if we requested it since it would be in the best interest of the child and if the ex and I agreed to the arrangement. I could be wrong.

Yes, its possible that a judge would allow it. Its outside of the "norm"...but if you were both adamant about the changes a judge could very well agree. Most judges will agree to something that makes sense and is enforceable.

Finances aside the ex is a reasonably competent and involved mother. Personally, I wouldn't miss her if a strong wind came up and blew her away.

Good points about the enabling and responsibility.

She is admitting her financial "stupidity".....and is willing to agree to something that makes a lot of practical sense. I am not sure that I agree that its "enabling"

Lots to think about here, but now I'm inclined just to leave everything as is.

That is certainly your decision. I am not sure if I agree or disagree.

 

[haiku]

I have heard of people attempting to do this-pay mortgage directly in lieu of support, but it was shot down by the judge, even if both parents were agreeable, because paying another party was not considered child support.

 

[michele17]

I would keep paying the child support as you are and not pay the mortgage. It's her responsibility to make the payments on the mortgage. She is getting quite alot of money from you as it is and if she can't manage it well, then she's needs to seek assistance from a professional (money management). I think it's great you are paying child support of $650.00 plus, buying her other items. But, it sounds like your ex depends on you to much to take care of everything. She needs to think long term. What is she going to do when you stop making child support payments? She needs to grow up and take RESPONSIBILITY