Retiring from the military

[Newlydivmomto4]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Virginia

Something my daughter said the other day has me wondering. She told me (voluntarily) that when her dad retires he is going to get custody of her. Daughter tells me everything she wants to, I don't pry, I do have to at times bite my lip so I don't respond, so she has always felt free to say what is on her mind.

Refresher on situation, I have full phys and legal custody of the kiddos, never fought for anything, ex did all the paperwork and gave me custody. Ex is due to retire in 18 months. Will him retiring constitute a change in circumstances? He currently lives over 9 hours away, and from my understanding he plans to move to about 8 hours away when he retires.

 

[gr8rn]

A change in HIS circumstances will not give him custody. He can say anything he wants, just continue to tell your kids that these matters are adult matters and they don't have to worry about anything.

My son comes home from his visits telling me that his dad knows when I am going to die, and when I die he will get custody. All kinds of things. I just laugh and tell him "your dad is so funny sometimes". it eases my sons mind and laughing it off is better than flipping out on a moron who doesn't have the sense to stop horrifying his son with the things he says.

 

[xylene]

Don't confuse "will get" with "will try"

Be prepared for '"will try".

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Virginia

Something my daughter said the other day has me wondering. She told me (voluntarily) that when her dad retires he is going to get custody of her. Daughter tells me everything she wants to, I don't pry, I do have to at times bite my lip so I don't respond, so she has always felt free to say what is on her mind.

Refresher on situation, I have full phys and legal custody of the kiddos, never fought for anything, ex did all the paperwork and gave me custody. Ex is due to retire in 18 months. Will him retiring constitute a change in circumstances? He currently lives over 9 hours away, and from my understanding he plans to move to about 8 hours away when he retires.

No, his retirement is NOT a change in circumstance for the children...particularly if he is going to be living 8 hours away from the children's current home, compared to the 9 hours he lives now. If he really believes that retiring from the military gives him any viable shot at primary custody, he is living in fantasyland.

However, as someone else pointed out, that doesn't mean that he won't try and that you won't have to deal with a custody case. It just means that he really won't have a viable shot at winning.

Now, what retiring from the military could very possibly give him, is a different parenting schedule...assuming that he has a less than standard long distance parenting schedule due to the military. If he already has a standard long distance parenting schedule, then that's unlikely to change either.

 

[Newlydivmomto4]

LDiJ,
We don't have any schedule of sorts, its just as agreed upon. So far thats worked fine I guess. I offer the kids visiting on holidays/vacations etc and he says yes or no. Thankfully (for now) we both know its best to put the kids needs first.

 

[mistoffolees]

LDiJ,
We don't have any schedule of sorts, its just as agreed upon. So far thats worked fine I guess. I offer the kids visiting on holidays/vacations etc and he says yes or no. Thankfully (for now) we both know its best to put the kids needs first.

That's great for you, but for any other readers, let me add:

DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME.

Very few people can actually pull that off. Congratulations that you're able to put the kids first.