ROFR and sleepovers

[doc2b]

What is the name of your state? Michigan

Hello, everyone. Quick question about right of first refusal (and a dumb one, considering it shouldn't even have to be asked).

My husband and his ex wife have a ROFR that states:

Each parent shall give the other parent the right of first refusal in the event they are unavailable for more than two (2) hours during their respective parenting time session.​

Their kids are starting to have friends ask them over for sleepovers (which are always on weekends during my husband's time), and my husband would love for them to be able to attend with their other classmates, but is concerned that he would be violating the terms of the JOD if he allowed them to go to a sleepover without offering first rights to their mom.

Would he be violating the JOD if he let them go to an event lasting more than 2 hours that he wouldn't be attending, as long as it is not because he is "unavailable" for that time? Thanks for your help.

 

[Humusluvr]

What is the name of your state? Michigan

Hello, everyone. Quick question about right of first refusal (and a dumb one, considering it shouldn't even have to be asked).

My husband and his ex wife have a ROFR that states:

Each parent shall give the other parent the right of first refusal in the event they are unavailable for more than two (2) hours during their respective parenting time session.​

Their kids are starting to have friends ask them over for sleepovers (which are always on weekends during my husband's time), and my husband would love for them to be able to attend with their other classmates, but is concerned that he would be violating the terms of the JOD if he allowed them to go to a sleepover without offering first rights to their mom.

Would he be violating the JOD if he let them go to an event lasting more than 2 hours that he wouldn't be attending, as long as it is not because he is "unavailable" for that time? Thanks for your help.

Not legal advice, but 2 hours is not even enough time to run to the grocery store! I could see 8 hours, or even 6, but 2 is ridiculous!

If she does give you this petty argument, then the sleepovers that he wants for his daughter may have to occur at your house. Break out the scary movies and the cookie dough!

 

[fairisfair]

If that is how the RFOP is worded then it wouldn't apply.

Dad is NOT unavailable.

 

[Ohiogal]

If that is how the RFOP is worded then it wouldn't apply.

Dad is NOT unavailable.

I agree. Dad is available but is allowing the child to have fun with her friends. That would be like saying whenever the child goes to a friend's house for a couple hours that mom would have to call dad and get permission.

 

[doc2b]

Thanks for the responses everybody! I'll let him know and hopefully the sleepovers will go off without a hitch!

 

[fairisfair]

I agree. Dad is available but is allowing the child to have fun with her friends. That would be like saying whenever the child goes to a friend's house for a couple hours that mom would have to call dad and get permission.

or to school.....LOL

 

[wileybunch]

Not legal advice, but 2 hours is not even enough time to run to the grocery store! I could see 8 hours, or even 6, but 2 is ridiculous!

Agreed! Why do judges even allow this language to be in a court order unless it pertains to something specific like after school time. Across the board? Dumb.

 

[stealth2]

Not legal advice, but 2 hours is not even enough time to run to the grocery store!

Uuhh... really? I can get to my grocery, do my shopping and get home in 30 - 45, tops - minutes.

 

[Humusluvr]

Uuhh... really? I can get to my grocery, do my shopping and get home in 30 - 45, tops - minutes.

OK, I was basing that on personal experience. I have to grocery shop at Mexican Walmart, so I'm lucky to keep all the stuff in my cart without people grabbing it while I'm not looking. Or even if I'm looking. Its a madhouse.

Or, I can drive to San Antonio and civilization, which is three hours each way, plus the shopping.

I'm SOL either way.

I'm so glad I'm moving.

 

[wileybunch]

Uuhh... really? I can get to my grocery, do my shopping and get home in 30 - 45, tops - minutes.

What about getting hair highlighted? I can get to the store and back quickly if I go to the one near me, but I think the point is that 2 hours is unreasonably short for an overall ROFR time limit. Parent could attend a parents meeting for a sports team and be gone for 2+ hours, go to the caucus during elections, go to dentist for tooth pulling, etc. ... all sorts of every day things that would require them to be gone from home for >2 hours. Imagine actually adhering to that.

 

[las365]

I think the two pertinent issues here are the definition of "unavailable" and the ridiculous two hour time frame.

How old were the children when this Order was put in place? Is there a history of dragging each other into court over petty things like one parent or the other not being physically with the children for two and a half hours during their respective parenting times?

Since the children are getting older and their need for appropriate socialization is changing, if it is possible to enter into an agreed modification of the Order, that may be a good solution.

 

[doc2b]

The kids are in first grade and their mom and dad have never been to court over anything since the original divorce a couple years ago.

It was my husband's attorney's idea to add the 2 hour limit-she said it was standard, and he has since found out that she is an idiot and has nowhere close to the family law experience she led him to believe she did. He learned his lesson, though

I guess he'll have to wait and see what she does...I can't anticipate their judge (who seems to be very fair) being happy with having this issue go to court.

 

[las365]

The kids are in first grade and their mom and dad have never been to court over anything since the original divorce a couple years ago.

As long as they communicate and cooperate with each other, everything should be fine. Yes, I am an optimist.

 

[Isis1]

has this ever been an issue with mom since the order has been made? maybe mom would stupilate to a change in the 2 hour time frame as well? the kids are older and it just makes sense to make it 8 or 12 hours. it would save court time if mom and dad agreed. shoot, i'd agree to sleepovers.

 

[doc2b]

As long as they communicate and cooperate with each other, everything should be fine. Yes, I am an optimist.

Optimism is the only thing that gets hubby through these weird little situations...since communication and cooperation are usually one sided between the two of them (they both have their days). Sometimes I want to smack 'em both.