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absent father

Junior Member
What is the name of your state?CA.
Quick background. My sons father walked out when he was 1yr. old, although he was told he could see him when ever he wanted. The D.A. found him after 12yrs. (son is now 14) and we have been in ccourt ever since. He has told so many untruths and down right lies that the papers should be filed in the fiction section. He has tried everything to get out of child support including filing for a divorce down in L.A. claiming NO children of the marriage even though this county already had a judgment against him for support. Now he has moved closer and we did get the divorce. We went to mediation and visitation was set. I have bent over backwards to accommodate him such as letting my son go on several weekends he was not supposed to, I thought it would do them some good. Within 5 months he filed for custodty. He has an attorney and I have been going it alone. We just got the results of the assessment and he has won. I do not feel that his father is the best place for him, he has already told my son the same lies he has told the courts, that I refused to let him see our son and if he tried he would be hurt. I only wish I had those kind of connections. Ha Ha. Since I did not know how to respond to his accusations I believe that they think what he is saying to be true even though with a bit of checking I could prove that what I'm saying is true. I have a letter from a doctor that he got when he was in the navy years ago stating him as having manic depression and requires lithium, and may also require prozac. In my own expirence with him I have noticed that he has a warped since of reality. He believes that everyone is out to get him and he has to fight the world. I only have a week left to object to the assessment before it goes to the judge. I do not know how to object. The paper says as follows, objections must be in writing and must include the following: The specific paragraphs and language to which the objections are made; the reasons for the objections, and; the proposed changes to the recomended order, including specific suggested alternatives. What does this mean? Do I just write a letter as to why I object? Do I have to submit any forms with the objection? Then I have one more question. I know in CA. you can't tape someone without their knowledge, but I have two tapes from my answering machine from when we first separated. He himself said "Oh good this is on tape, I want you to keep this tape and listen to it for years to come." Well I did just that, I have kept them with me all these years. Can they be submited? It is three sides of him just ranting and raving, a little bit threatening, but most of all I think it would prove his character. Please help. I'm afraid if he gets my son he will continue to tell my son these lies and turn him against me. I also have an 8 yr. old daughter that adores her brother, when he goes for the weekend she mopes around until he comes home. It would be devistating for her. Thank you in advance for any help you can provide. I have been reading this site for months and I believe that you guys are very knowledgeable and some times say things that people do not want to hear but it is what they have to hear. Keep up the good work. Thanks
 


Zephyr

Senior Member
The paper says as follows, objections must be in writing and must include the following: The specific paragraphs and language to which the objections are made; the reasons for the objections, and; the proposed changes to the recomended order, including specific suggested alternatives.


I am not positive, but I don't think this requires a specific form, go through your assessment, if there is something you disagree with, reference it and state why you disagree, and what change you would recommend.

maybe if you posted one of the items you disagree with then you could get some help here on wording and format, etc.
 

Silverplum

Senior Member
absent father said:
(snip)
...we have been in ccourt ever since.
(snip)
He has told so many untruths and down right lies that the papers should be filed in the fiction section. He has tried everything to get out of child support including filing for a divorce down in L.A. claiming NO children of the marriage even though this county already had a judgment against him for support. Now he has moved closer and we did get the divorce. We went to mediation and visitation was set.
(snip)
Within 5 months he filed for custodty. He has an attorney and I have been going it alone. We just got the results of the assessment and he has won. I do not feel that his father is the best place for him, he has already told my son the same lies he has told the courts, that I refused to let him see our son and if he tried he would be hurt.
(snip)
Since I did not know how to respond to his accusations I believe that they think what he is saying to be true even though with a bit of checking I could prove that what I'm saying is true.
(snip)
I only have a week left to object to the assessment before it goes to the judge. I do not know how to object.
(snip)
What does this mean? Do I just write a letter as to why I object? Do I have to submit any forms with the objection? Then I have one more question. I know in CA. you can't tape someone without their knowledge, but I have two tapes from my answering machine from when we first separated. He himself said "Oh good this is on tape, I want you to keep this tape and listen to it for years to come." Well I did just that, I have kept them with me all these years. Can they be submited? It is three sides of him just ranting and raving, a little bit threatening, but most of all I think it would prove his character. Please help. I'm afraid if he gets my son he will continue to tell my son these lies and turn him against me. I also have an 8 yr. old daughter that adores her brother, when he goes for the weekend she mopes around until he comes home. It would be devistating for her. Thank you in advance for any help you can provide. I have been reading this site for months and I believe that you guys are very knowledgeable and some times say things that people do not want to hear but it is what they have to hear. Keep up the good work. Thanks
Read the bolded portions and see what we see: that the money you are "saving" by not hiring a lawyer is killing you. You are going to lose custody and your 8 y.o. daughter is going to be devastated. You are being outgunned by the lawyer.

Do whatever you have to do to hire one. You're not "saving" anything worth keeping.
:(
 

absent father

Junior Member
In response, I know I need an attorney very badly, unfortunatly I can't find help anywhere. I talked to CRLA again yesturday and they gave me the phone number to Legal Aid in Santa Clara (where the case is in court) and I got a recording that they have shortage of attorneys and are taking no applications. I plan on trying more calls when I get home, ( have to go to dentist right now) but the outlook of finding any help is not looking great. Thank you!!
 

Zephyr

Senior Member
op, lawyers win against people without lawyers even when the people without lawyers have a stronger case- believe me, I am struggling to pay my lawyer, but I don't begrudge a single dime of it- for my kid- money well spent I think. Do what ever you can to get an attorney
 

Zephyr

Senior Member
and that tape might be admissable, he knew and acknowledged on at least one message that he was being taped (although everyone knows they are being taped when leaving a message), a lawyer would know for sure how useful that would be
 

Silverplum

Senior Member
absent father said:
In response, I know I need an attorney very badly, unfortunatly I can't find help anywhere. I talked to CRLA again yesturday and they gave me the phone number to Legal Aid in Santa Clara (where the case is in court) and I got a recording that they have shortage of attorneys and are taking no applications. I plan on trying more calls when I get home, ( have to go to dentist right now) but the outlook of finding any help is not looking great. Thank you!!
Loan: bank or family, whoever.
Credit card/s.
Pawn shop.
Sell your car.
Sell whatever you own.
Find a lawyer that takes payments.
Use up all the free consultations with every family law attorney around.

Something else you can do: find forums that deal specifically with CA law. Read CA legal sites. FIND the answers!
Good luck.
 
I am not an attorney but I have a few suggestions, I have dealt with Santa Clara family courts, make sure you check with them before you follow anyones advice. They handle custody cases different then any county I have delt with (Lake, Napa, and Solano) and make sure you file some kind of response, I have found them to be unforgiving when it comes to time restrictions. My friends attorney did not file a response in time and they had to start the whole proccess all over again, paying for the assessment again too. I agree with the other people, if you can, get an attorney, do it, but I know attorneys there charge a lot. Good Luck :)
 

Zephyr

Senior Member
make sure you do have your objections to the assessment in by the deadline, even if you are still trying to get a lawyer, not objecting might as well be agreeing
 

absent father

Junior Member
Thanks for the advice. I just got home from dentist, too late to call around but going to get on it again in the morning. I wish to God that I was just trying to save some money, although I would never take a gamble like that. I have no family anymore, my mother died a little over a year ago but I can see her spinning in her grave at this moment. She saw what kind of person he was back when I was young, dumb, and in loooove. She would have taken out several loans if thats what it took. I just don't have any credit to get loans. It's not that I have overwhelming bad credit, just a couple visits to the emergency room. I would sell car in a heartbeat but it's not worth 1000.00 and then it would be alot harder to appear in court. I am going to go through all the papers and just write a "letter of objection" just in case I find nothing tomorrow. I guess trying to file something is better that doing nothing. Thanks again.
 

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