Sanity check me please; joint custody and ortho

[olhobbes]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

Mom and I have joint custody + 50/50 timeshare ( with me handling all medical/dental appts ). Mom recently got served modification paperwork, and has begun "nitpicking", with the most recent example being our child's ortho tx. Child started ortho tx back in Aug, details having been agreed upon verbally by both parties. I have kept mom updated via txt regarding ortho status.

Prior to the start of treatment, mom raised a concern about our child's mouth, which I relayed to the provider. The provider assured me that issue would be addressed with this phase of treatment, and after I relayed this to mom she agreed to proceed.

Now mom wants a second opinion based on her concern, and to move child to a different provider. I have told mom I do not agree to this at this time ( mid treatment ), but will be happy to reevaluate once we see the status of the mouth after treatment. This seems reasonable to me, but I'd like a second opinion on my decision.

She has also raised questions of a medical nature that I do not feel comfortable answering, so I recommended she call the provider. Though she never has talked to them about our child's tx in the past, I have always made sure that the office knows mom will have full access to all records. Regardless, mom wants me to answer the questions and not the provider; am I obligated to act as a proxy?

Thanks again, everyone.

 

[mommyanme]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

Mom and I have joint custody + 50/50 timeshare ( with me handling all medical/dental appts ). Mom recently got served modification paperwork, and has begun "nitpicking", with the most recent example being our child's ortho tx. Child started ortho tx back in Aug, details having been agreed upon verbally by both parties. I have kept mom updated via txt regarding ortho status.

Prior to the start of treatment, mom raised a concern about our child's mouth, which I relayed to the provider. The provider assured me that issue would be addressed with this phase of treatment, and after I relayed this to mom she agreed to proceed.

Now mom wants a second opinion based on her concern, and to move child to a different provider. I have told mom I do not agree to this at this time ( mid treatment ), but will be happy to reevaluate once we see the status of the mouth after treatment. This seems reasonable to me, but I'd like a second opinion on my decision.

She has also raised questions of a medical nature that I do not feel comfortable answering, so I recommended she call the provider. Though she never has talked to them about our child's tx in the past, I have always made sure that the office knows mom will have full access to all records. Regardless, mom wants me to answer the questions and not the provider; am I obligated to act as a proxy?

Thanks again, everyone.

You've been told before and you'll be told again, STOP being a pain in Mom's backside! Just give her the information.

 

[stealth2]

Why is it difficult to say "This is what I understand from what the provider told me: gfyjvgfhjfghvfdghghj. I'm not sure I have all of the medical facts correct, so it would be best if you called him/her directly. The number is 123-456-7890."? Really.

ETA: It can be difficult to get hold of medical professionals, and not everyone has time to spend hours on the phone. Give her the information you have and stop being a jerk.

 

[grasshoppa]

Why is it difficult to say "This is what I understand from what the provider told me: gfyjvgfhjfghvfdghghj. I'm not sure I have all of the medical facts correct, so it would be best if you called him/her directly. The number is 123-456-7890."? Really.

ETA: It can be difficult to get hold of medical professionals, and not everyone has time to spend hours on the phone. Give her the information you have and stop being a jerk.

That is what I've done, almost word for word. However, mom either does not like my answers or is not getting them in a form she understands. Which is why I've told her she should contact the provider in question.

This provider is not difficult to contact. He actually has time set aside every day to speak with patients. In addition, he knows mom and has worked with her professionally in the past.

Perspectives and opinions are highly appreciated everyone!

 

[stealth2]

That is what I've done, almost word for word. However, mom either does not like my answers or is not getting them in a form she understands. Which is why I've told her she should contact the provider in question.

This provider is not difficult to contact. He actually has time set aside every day to speak with patients. In addition, he knows mom and has worked with her professionally in the past.

Perspectives and opinions are highly appreciated everyone!

Two handles? Not cool. Perhaps you should speak with your attorney.

stealth out.

 

[not2cleverRed]

Please explain why you believe that the current course of treatment would have to be interrupted in order to obtain a second opinion.

If getting a second opinion will reassure Mom so that she questions you less, then what's the problem?

If getting a second opinion reveals that the current orthodontist is not doing things correctly, then better to know mid-treatment than at the end.

Not seeing a problem here. Unless, of course, the issue is that she wants you to pay out of pocket the f ull cost of a second opinion.

 

[cheesecake46580]

get a copy of the treatment plan and provide to mom and let her know if she wants to take her for a second opinion you are fine with that but you will not stop treatment until she gets this done as that would be a waste of insurance $$ and out of pocket $$

 

[Just Blue]

Two handles? Not cool. Perhaps you should speak with your attorney.

stealth out.

Px of the bug is "sweet".