scheduling phone calls?

[luckymom]

Does anyone have experience with orders or simply agreements regarding phone contact? What is usually considered reasonable and do-able? A "window" or an exact time?

I've been allowed temporary relocation overseas and was urged by the judge to make sure ex can maintain contact with our daughter by phone. Given time differences, work schedules, etc. I am trying to figure out what best to suggest.

Thanks!

 

[LdiJ]

Does anyone have experience with orders or simply agreements regarding phone contact? What is usually considered reasonable and do-able? A "window" or an exact time?

I've been allowed temporary relocation overseas and was urged by the judge to make sure ex can maintain contact with our daughter by phone. Given time differences, work schedules, etc. I am trying to figure out what best to suggest.

Thanks!

You should probably have a set time, a couple of times a week, with say a 30 minute window. That way you can figure out a time that actually works.

However, what would really be ideal is if you could both have high speed internet access and webcams. That way the kids could both see AND speak to the other parent. It would be much better for them than just getting to speak on the phone....and they could all participate at once.

 

[LdiJ]

I should add...the time difference is generally between 6-8 hours. (Europe is ahead of us).

If the parent in the US could stay up late for the calls, you could call first thing in the mornings, but otherwise weekends are probably going to work the best.

For example, when its midnight in Indiana, its 7:00 AM in much of Europe.

 

[luckymom]

I should add...the time difference is generally between 6-8 hours. (Europe is ahead of us).

If the parent in the US could stay up late for the calls, you could call first thing in the mornings, but otherwise weekends are probably going to work the best.

For example, when its midnight in Indiana, its 7:00 AM in much of Europe.

Thanks. I plan on using Skype, so calls will be free, and we have a webcam. The judge urged ex to get one as well. We won't be in Europe, so the time difference is actually 13 or 14 hrs. depending on whether is its DST is in effect or not.

 

[LdiJ]

Thanks. I plan on using Skype, so calls will be free, and we have a webcam. The judge urged ex to get one as well. We won't be in Europe, so the time difference is actually 13 or 14 hrs. depending on whether is its DST is in effect or not.

That actually makes it easier to schedule calls, because first thing in the morning in one place, will be evening in the other.

 

[luckymom]

That actually makes it easier to schedule calls, because first thing in the morning in one place, will be evening in the other.

I think an arrangement in which she's available in the evening, say from 8, since she goes to bed at 9 or 9:30 would work, but ex is likely to balk at the 6 a.m. call time! Is a 30 minute window long enough?

 

[CJane]

I think an arrangement in which she's available in the evening, say from 8, since she goes to bed at 9 or 9:30 would work, but ex is likely to balk at the 6 a.m. call time! Is a 30 minute window long enough?

I'd allow for a 60 minute window - from 8-9 on certain days/week. You don't want to promise that she'll be available every night.

I understand that ex may balk at the early morning call, but it isn't about his convenience, it's about the child maintaining a relationship with him. So it's really up to him whether or not to do his part.

 

[LdiJ]

I think an arrangement in which she's available in the evening, say from 8, since she goes to bed at 9 or 9:30 would work, but ex is likely to balk at the 6 a.m. call time! Is a 30 minute window long enough?

Ok...what if you reverse it? So that you are calling in the morning, and its evening for him? 7 AM your time would be 5 or 6 PM for him.

 

[luckymom]

Ok...what if you reverse it? So that you are calling in the morning, and its evening for him? 7 AM your time would be 5 or 6 PM for him.

I think this works in terms of sleep patterns, but would be more difficult in terms of availability. My daughter's school will begin at 8:30, so a call at 7 would have to be very short, since there is travel time involved.

 

[luckymom]

I'd allow for a 60 minute window - from 8-9 on certain days/week. You don't want to promise that she'll be available every night.

I understand that ex may balk at the early morning call, but it isn't about his convenience, it's about the child maintaining a relationship with him. So it's really up to him whether or not to do his part.

I think a 60 minute window would work, but I agree I don't want to make it every evening. We need some flexibility as well. Does two times a week sound do-able? Maybe Wednesday and Saturday. Of course, he can call and see if we are around as much as he likes. I am trying to come up with a reasonable commitment of time when we will definitely be at home.

 

[CJane]

I think a 60 minute window would work, but I agree I don't want to make it every evening. We need some flexibility as well. Does two times a week sound do-able? Maybe Wednesday and Saturday. Of course, he can call and see if we are around as much as he likes. I am trying to come up with a reasonable commitment of time when we will definitely be at home.

What was his visitation schedule when prior to the move being granted?

 

[luckymom]

I think a 60 minute window would work, but I agree I don't want to make it every evening. We need some flexibility as well. Does two times a week sound do-able? Maybe Wednesday and Saturday. Of course, he can call and see if we are around as much as he likes. I am trying to come up with a reasonable commitment of time when we will definitely be at home.

On second thought commiting to being available on Saturday evening sounds like a bad idea and sure to cause problems. Tuesday and Friday?

 

[luckymom]

What was his visitation schedule when prior to the move being granted?

One weekend a month. In order to make up for missed weekends, he gets extra time in the summer and over winter break.

 

[CJane]

One weekend a month. In order to make up for missed weekends, he gets extra time in the summer and over winter break.

Then perhaps if you made your daughter available every Wednesday (or whatever) evening, and then every third Saturday and every 4th Sunday mornings... something like that?

 

[LdiJ]

Then perhaps if you made your daughter available every Wednesday (or whatever) evening, and then every third Saturday and every 4th Sunday mornings... something like that?

Actually, it could easily be every Sunday. 11:00 AM where she would be would be 9-10 PM where dad would be. That's workable....or it could be alternated too.