Second offense in California

[duidumdum]

Look at you, trying to take care of everyone. His X, his son with her, his stupid DUI, his stupid problems...none of which are yours.

http://al-anon.alateen.org/.

Just because something isn't my problem doesn't mean I shouldn't help. If someone were injured in an accident because some douche was driving while intoxicated (yep, I said it), it isn't my problem, but if I'm capable, should I not try to help? I just don't feel that the rest of us should have to suffer because of his mistake. He will no doubt feel the sting from this. Financially, time-wise, possibly jail time, public transportation, etc. The only thing I'm actually helping out with chauffeur-wise is with picking his son up and dropping him off because it's simply not fair to his ex-wife nor his son. Otherwise he's on his own.

 

[Silverplum]

Just because something isn't my problem doesn't mean I shouldn't help. If someone were injured in an accident because some douche was driving while intoxicated (yep, I said it), it isn't my problem, but if I'm capable, should I not try to help? I just don't feel that the rest of us should have to suffer because of his mistake. He will no doubt feel the sting from this. Financially, time-wise, possibly jail time, public transportation, etc. The only thing I'm actually helping out with chauffeur-wise is with picking his son up and dropping him off because it's simply not fair to his ex-wife nor his son. Otherwise he's on his own.

Okey-dokey.

 

[TheGeekess]

Well... the letter of the law is .08%, so regardless of personal opinion, if he's below .08%, the law says that he is fine to drive. Why did he do it? Yes, it was stupid. I'm really NOT defending him. I'm aggravated and stressed, he made a stupid mistake that could have been a lot worse. I'm glad that it wasn't worse. But the fact of the matter is, it's happened and it can't be erased. It can only be prevented in the future, and all I really want is to figure out possible scenarios or outcomes so that we can get over the hump and move past it. I do think that he needs to deal with the consequences. I also feel like he should sink on his own. When he called me at 5AM, I seriously wanted to tell him to take a cab. But letting him sink on his own is also going to make things more difficult for me, and it's going to make things more difficult for his little boy, and for his ex-wife. None of US have done anything wrong, and I would like for the rest of us to suffer as little as possible. I'm willing to contribute however I can if it will make our lives more peaceful.

http://www.goodtherapy.org/therapy-for-codependency.html
http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/go/codependency
http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/signs-of-a-codependent-relationship

 

[duidumdum]

I appreciate the help and even the sarcasm Even if most of it was just scolding

I had already read that there was a mandatory jail time, but I also read that typically house arrest or other options are available. Any ideas on best case / worse case scenario in that regard? It will be a financial struggle for me if he's locked up, and I'm concerned about him losing his job.

 

[Silverplum]

I appreciate the help and even the sarcasm Even if most of it was just scolding

I had already read that there was a mandatory jail time, but I also read that typically house arrest or other options are available. Any ideas on best case / worse case scenario in that regard? It will be a financial struggle for me if he's locked up, and I'm concerned about him losing his job.

That's a local matter best answered by a local attorney who knows the local statistics.


























http://al-anon.alateen.org/.

 

[Silverplum]

Good grief. I just now "read" OP's username: dui dum dum.

So SHE takes on the "dum dum" name for her man's DUI. How does that make any sense? What sense of self does that exhibit?

 

[duidumdum]

Good grief. I just now "read" OP's username: dui dum dum.

So SHE takes on the "dum dum" name for her man's DUI. How does that make any sense? What sense of self does that exhibit?

DUI dum dum. Hey now. I'm working on limited sleep here. When I picked up the car, CHP said that they might cite and release him last night, so I was up until midnight waiting to see if they might call me. Then they released him at 5AM instead ... I'm tired. It was the best I could come up with. I had no desire whatsoever to use any of my regular/normal/typical internet handles.

 

[Silverplum]

DUI dum dum. Hey now. I'm working on limited sleep here. When I picked up the car, CHP said that they might cite and release him last night, so I was up until midnight waiting to see if they might call me. Then they released him at 5AM instead ... I'm tired. It was the best I could come up with. I had no desire whatsoever to use any of my regular/normal/typical internet handles.

I wish you and your child the best.

 

[Zigner]

Well... the letter of the law is .08%, so regardless of personal opinion, if he's below .08%, the law says that he is fine to drive.

No, it does NOT say that. All the .08% represents is the point at which the state doesn't have to prove intoxication. A person can be too intoxicated to drive well below .08%.

 

[Ohiogal]

Well... the letter of the law is .08%, so regardless of personal opinion, if he's below .08%, the law says that he is fine to drive. Why did he do it? Yes, it was stupid. I'm really NOT defending him. I'm aggravated and stressed, he made a stupid mistake that could have been a lot worse. I'm glad that it wasn't worse. But the fact of the matter is, it's happened and it can't be erased. It can only be prevented in the future, and all I really want is to figure out possible scenarios or outcomes so that we can get over the hump and move past it. I do think that he needs to deal with the consequences. I also feel like he should sink on his own. When he called me at 5AM, I seriously wanted to tell him to take a cab. But letting him sink on his own is also going to make things more difficult for me, and it's going to make things more difficult for his little boy, and for his ex-wife. None of US have done anything wrong, and I would like for the rest of us to suffer as little as possible. I'm willing to contribute however I can if it will make our lives more peaceful.

You are wrong. .08% is the per se limit -- a showing of that is enough. You can be impaired and arrested for that below that per se limit. As for prevention -- he does not show that he wants to prevent it because this is NOT his first time. Again, alanon.

 

[Ohiogal]

There is no concern there. He rarely drives with her. He does not drink in the mornings. I work early mornings (typically 5:45AM-2:30PM). I truly don't think he will make this mistake again, but only time will tell. I'm SUPER EXCITED that I have to go all mom-mode on him and make sure that he's not. Really, it's not my place to babysit him. I hope he's willing to help himself so that I don't have to, but only time will tell.

This is the SECOND time he has made this mistake. He has learned a lot from the first time, huh? And at 5:45, he could still be hung over from the night before.

 

[CdwJava]

I have dealt with this on another thread, so won't leap in here except to clarify to the OP that being UNDER .08 does NOT mean you are "okay to drive!"

The BAC of .08 is that level where the state says a person IS too impaired to operate a motor vehicle. If UNDER .08 then the state has to show that the driver was impaired through testimony and evidence - a slightly harder road to follow.

Think of it this way, if it was legal to drive with a BAC of UNDER .08 then I can swallow a fistful of Vicodin, crawl to my car, drive down the street weaving and nodding off, and NOT be guilty of DUI because my BAC was .000. Every state has at least two DUI sections - one for the per se level of .08 or higher, and one for being impaired under that level or on other substances.

 

[Indiana Filer]

Well... the letter of the law is .08%, so regardless of personal opinion, if he's below .08%, the law says that he is fine to drive.

As has been pointed out by others, that's incorrect. Personally, I know I don't feel compentent to drive safely at .02. Even though I would be way under the .08 level, I think I could successfully be charged with DUI, and rightfully so.

We were testing out some equipment, so. Know how I'm affected at various levels of intoxication. Maybe I'm just a cheap date, but I get toasted on a couple Mike's hard lemonades.

 

[CdwJava]

As has been pointed out by others, that's incorrect. Personally, I know I don't feel compentent to drive safely at .02. Even though I would be way under the .08 level, I think I could successfully be charged with DUI, and rightfully so.

We were testing out some equipment, so. Know how I'm affected at various levels of intoxication. Maybe I'm just a cheap date, but I get toasted on a couple Mike's hard lemonades.

My wife is like that - one glass of wine and she's happy, two and she's chatty, three and she's telling embarrassing family stories! (I was lucky when we were dating!)

 

[Ohiogal]

Because I am a druggie and drunk, I am going to go take some sleeping pills and three shots of whiskey. Don't worry. When I get behind the wheel in 30 minutes I will be fine to drive. The MORONIC OP believes so! Therefore no problem!!!!!!!!!



Right?
Yeah. Not that stupid. going to bed without taking the sleeping pills or shots. OP, you are still MORONIC. Yes, that is fact. Go ahead, disbelieve me. Hopefully it won't cost your loved one their life.