Second Wife

[6mom]

What is the name of your state? California


My husband had a pre-existing IRA when he married me, 15 years ago. He was married before, for 10 years. They divorced 20 years ago. About two years into the marriage, I received a phone call regarding his IRA, and the broker thought I was his ex. I told her who I was. She then sent him a card to change the account beneficiary. He did not return the card, but just recently put more money in the account. He says he must have changed it, but I have never seen any paper evidence that he did. He tends to not get things done (i.e., he made his own will on a sheet of paper, no witnesses, several years ago and it is way out of date, not to mention probably invalid, anyway). We have two children.
Can I find out who the beneficiary on the IRA is? This is nagging at me.

What is the name of your state? California

 

[BelizeBreeze]

What is the name of your state? California


My husband had a pre-existing IRA when he married me, 15 years ago. He was married before, for 10 years. They divorced 20 years ago. About two years into the marriage, I received a phone call regarding his IRA, and the broker thought I was his ex. I told her who I was. She then sent him a card to change the account beneficiary. He did not return the card, but just recently put more money in the account. He says he must have changed it, but I have never seen any paper evidence that he did. He tends to not get things done (i.e., he made his own will on a sheet of paper, no witnesses, several years ago and it is way out of date, not to mention probably invalid, anyway). We have two children.
Can I find out who the beneficiary on the IRA is? This is nagging at me.

What is the name of your state? California

Easy answer is no, you cannot. You have no rights to the information.

 

[Dandy Don]

Ask your husband POINT-BLANK who he actually wants to have that money and be prepared to accept it if he wants HER to have the money instead of you. He sounds like the type of person who is afraid of confrontation and that may be why he didn't want to upset you by perhaps not telling you that he wanted her to have it. If in fact he truly wants you to have it, then you need to type up the letter or watch him make the phone call to ask for a beneficiary change card and then ask him to sign it in your presence. And you also need to check with the company that is holding the IRA about their rules for what would happen in the event of his death. Their rules may be different from state law and in some cases preference is given to the surviving spouse but you need to find out what the rules are NOW so that you can adjust or plan for any corrective steps if you need to be doing something else to insure that the money goes to you.

Consult a probate attorney, confidentially (without letting your husband know you have done so), to find out what your rights are as a surviving spouse. And then insist that your husband have his will reviewed by an attorney and properly witnessed, so that your rights can be protected, unless he wants his estate to be handled as intestate, in which case that might work out in your favor as well. You need to look at both scenarios and have your attorney explain which one would work out best for you. It's hard to know from his actions whether he is just absent-minded or uncaring enough to handle his own estate matters.

DANDY DON IN OKLAHOMA ([email protected])

 

[6mom]

Response

I think he prefers not to think about death. This spills over into many areas, besides legal ones.

Thank you. I think this is helpful. It has already occurred to me that, in a community property state, if he is intestate, that would work in my favor.

I cannot imagine he would want 10 cents to go to his ex. She left him for another man.