Secret marriage and paternity rights

[MiddleAgedMama]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New York

A young man I know is about to become a father. He is actually married to the mother-to-be, but they have not revealed that to anyone in their families. I do not believe they have revealed it to the ob-gyn either. I am concerned that this young man will not be named on the birth certificate, since the doctor and hospital will think them unmarried, and he will need to petition for paternity rights after the baby is born.

I know this young couple need to come clean before the baby is born (soon!) but they don't seem inclined to do that for a variety of reasons. I would love to give them some information about why it's important to fess up before the birth, but I can't find anything about it. Most paternity information i find is about women trying to hold a man responsible. In this case, the young man wants to be responsible, but I'm afraid that unless the marriage is made known he will not have any rights to the child without legal intervention.

Anybody have any facts I could use as inducement (no pun intended) to get them to out themselves as married?

 

[Isis1]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New York

A young man I know is about to become a father. He is actually married to the mother-to-be, but they have not revealed that to anyone in their families. I do not believe they have revealed it to the ob-gyn either. I am concerned that this young man will not be named on the birth certificate, since the doctor and hospital will think them unmarried, and he will need to petition for paternity rights after the baby is born.

I know this young couple need to come clean before the baby is born (soon!) but they don't seem inclined to do that for a variety of reasons. I would love to give them some information about why it's important to fess up before the birth, but I can't find anything about it. Most paternity information i find is about women trying to hold a man responsible. In this case, the young man wants to be responsible, but I'm afraid that unless the marriage is made known he will not have any rights to the child without legal intervention.

Anybody have any facts I could use as inducement (no pun intended) to get them to out themselves as married?

legally married, then dad has no issues. he is by law the legal father and has equal rights. all he has to show is the marriage certificate should he be so inclined.

are you his mother?

 

[MCDATX]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New York

A young man I know is about to become a father. He is actually married to the mother-to-be, but they have not revealed that to anyone in their families. I do not believe they have revealed it to the ob-gyn either. I am concerned that this young man will not be named on the birth certificate, since the doctor and hospital will think them unmarried, and he will need to petition for paternity rights after the baby is born.

I know this young couple need to come clean before the baby is born (soon!) but they don't seem inclined to do that for a variety of reasons. I would love to give them some information about why it's important to fess up before the birth, but I can't find anything about it. Most paternity information i find is about women trying to hold a man responsible. In this case, the young man wants to be responsible, but I'm afraid that unless the marriage is made known he will not have any rights to the child without legal intervention.

Anybody have any facts I could use as inducement (no pun intended) to get them to out themselves as married?

who are you in this situation? Frankly, this is none of your business if this couple chooses to handle their situation the way THEY see fit.

 

[MiddleAgedMama]

I am a close friend to the young man, concerned for his future. The issue is that he is not willing to show the marriage certificate -- my question is how I can help him see how important it is to do so. If the hospital believes the mother to be unmarried, they can leave him off the birth certificate application, can't they? I'm looking for some solid reasons I can give him to help him make a good decision.

 

[MCDATX]

I am a close friend to the young man, concerned for his future. The issue is that he is not willing to show the marriage certificate -- my question is how I can help him see how important it is to do so. If the hospital believes the mother to be unmarried, they can leave him off the birth certificate application, can't they? I'm looking for some solid reasons I can give him to help him make a good decision.

Like Isabella said, if he's MARRIED and can show proof with a marriage license, then he is the legal father of the child and has equal rights.
It doesn't matter what the hospital BELIEVES. He is dad.

 

[Isis1]

I am a close friend to the young man, concerned for his future. The issue is that he is not willing to show the marriage certificate -- my question is how I can help him see how important it is to do so. If the hospital believes the mother to be unmarried, they can leave him off the birth certificate application, can't they? I'm looking for some solid reasons I can give him to help him make a good decision.

if dad choses to, he can amend it later.

there are no legal consequences. he's allowed to do this.

mom and dad may have a good reason for keeping the legal marriage a secret. it's their choice. one reason, is for publicity purposes. such as a celebrity. stupid, but it's been done.

 

[MiddleAgedMama]

who are you in this situation? Frankly, this is none of your business if this couple chooses to handle their situation the way THEY see fit.

That's a pretty harsh answer. Have you never had anyone close to you that you wanted to help?

 

[Isis1]

That's a pretty harsh answer. Have you never had anyone close to you that you wanted to help?

does this person WANT your help?

 

[MCDATX]

That's a pretty harsh answer. Have you never had anyone close to you that you wanted to help?

There's no reason to think that is a harsh answer. In several instances, people come here asking legal questions for someone else thinking their involvement helps when it can actually hurt this person's case. It's a valid question. No need to jump to conclusions.

 

[MiddleAgedMama]

Frankly, I'm sorry I asked. I was expecting information and help, not this kind of response. Never mind.

 

[Isis1]

Frankly, I'm sorry I asked. I was expecting information and help, not this kind of response. Never mind.

you're welcome!!

 

[AHA]

That's a pretty harsh answer. Have you never had anyone close to you that you wanted to help?

So this "young man" is actually a lot more than just a friend, isn't he? Let the married couple deal with their own situation.

 

[Proserpina]

Frankly, I'm sorry I asked. I was expecting information and help, not this kind of response. Never mind.

Problem:

Third parties rarely have enough correct information to elicit the correct legal advice....and all too often their participation can muddy the actual relevant party's problems, options and possible issues.

You received the correct legal response.

 

[Ohiogal]

So is fraud involved? In other words is mom of baby receiving food stamps, medical care and what not due to the fact that she is allegedly unwed? If so then your friend can be prosecuted for a crime.