Seeking custody

[jaxpink]

Well Bay after all i did not go by Texas law, i've lived in NC and PA too(hated it) merely that a person can file on their own papers if avail. at the courthouse per county or city if they cant afford an attorney- and some courthouses have forms avail online
I wasnt posting Texas's law on how to file or what their laws as is. Just if avail that is an option- Im sorry to make you think otherwise


and a little note for you when I see your name I always think of Cali for some reason

 

[jaxpink]

Without a court order for custody, mom is under NO obligation AT ALL to allow Dad anywhere near the children.

Nor is she under any obligation to inform Dad of her living arrangements, the town/state/country she lives in, etc.

At ANY point, Dad could have filed for custody. He chose not to.

At ANY point, Dad could have called CPS if he felt the children were neglected/abused/in an abusive household. He chose not to.

Mom being a stripper is irrelevant.
Mom's BF being an a$$hole is irrelevant.
Mom's family being crazy is irrelevant.

Dad stands a roughly 0.000009% chance of gaining custody.

CPS has been called on Mom 3 times- That is being researched since Moms social worker knew her personally

And the stripper part could be used due to the fact a lady lost her kids when working in a nightclub here in Texas not a stripclub - Another mother lost her 6 month old who was breastfeeding merely b/c she was proved to have lived in a fantasy world-
Now.... is it not who is a better parent and can take care of the children in a better environment the key to providing the best interest for the children-
Dads own Mom lost custody of Him and His sister b/c his Dad fought her on financial unstability-
I know dad had options but where- Dad did file custody but he had not served mom or got a hearing-
At this time he is just rolling with her attorney- and getting back a relationship with girls
Dad hired an Attorney this past saturday to obtain full custody or at least a 42% to 50% time
No mom legally doesnt have to let DAD around without a court order but is that right - No- Those babies needed to bond with dad outside hospital and mom took that relationship away from her daugters(the babies were in the hospital 3 months)
Is dads only option to prove mom unfit not that he is just able to provide a way better environment for the girls- the best thing to do is not bash mom but to show what a better parent he is and can be- Dad took the co-op parenting class volunteeraly and was enrolled before the temp order asked them both to take it- Mom is refusing

 

[CJane]

Is dads only option to prove mom unfit

At this point? Yes.

not that he is just able to provide a way better environment for the girls- the best thing to do is not bash mom but to show what a better parent he is and can be- Dad took the co-op parenting class volunteeraly and was enrolled before the temp order asked them both to take it- Mom is refusing

Dad cannot get custody away from mom because he has more money, or a nicer house, or is married, or anything else.

Using "some woman somewhere lost her kid because of X" isn't serving a purpose. You don't know the whole case - at all.

YES, the best interests of the children come into play, as outlined by the law of the state w/jurisdiction - but Dad has to prove that an overwhelming majority of those interests are NOT being met at Mom's house AT ALL, not just that they're met at his house too.

 

[Cainlord]

Best bet is to go the attorney route and hire a PI. Nothing says "proof" like a photo of mom and the BF doing some blow.

Seriously, I hope it works out for dad assuming what you said is true.

 

[jaxpink]

i actually read the judges opinion on it- of course i was gving his reason he gave for giving that dad custody as an example of odd things judges look at-
dad doesnt have a nicer home or is married- the violence and the girls sharing a room with mom's bf;s sons is an issue as well-
- he has done everything possible to see his children but never ever worked-
who was dissallowed to be a parent & to have a relationship with his children; who never stopped trying to find her when she would be gone for months at a time not have a chance at gaining his kids-

dad doesnt get free money and not have to work- he doesnt have more money than mom( mom gets a 40,000 settlement in jan)- mom has someone taking care of her so dad struggles sometimes but is always willing to keep moms relationship with children there while mom does not want too- is that not also a factor- which parent is going to foster a relationship-

 

[jaxpink]

Best bet is to go the attorney route and hire a PI. Nothing says "proof" like a photo of mom and the BF doing some blow.

Seriously, I hope it works out for dad assuming what you said is true.

dad fired his attorney who signed a paper without reading it saved u money and just hired an ex-judge- moms attorney used to work for the attorney general (child support)
why he never filed custody when dad fired his attorney and without representation no clue- they coulda hit him- but mom;s att was her bf;s att before not sure for what- BF said it was his att for a long time- he is only 22 so maybe moms att knows stuff-
i dont need a pic of mom doing blow- people know and her ex was in and out of jail for drug dealing- u dont date a drug dealer for no reason

 

[CJane]

i actually read the judges opinion on it- of course i was gving his reason he gave for giving that dad custody as an example of odd things judges look at-
dad doesnt have a nicer home or is married- the violence and the girls sharing a room with mom's bf;s sons is an issue as well-
- he has done everything possible to see his children but never ever worked-
who was dissallowed to be a parent & to have a relationship with his children; who never stopped trying to find her when she would be gone for months at a time not have a chance at gaining his kids-

dad doesnt get free money and not have to work- he doesnt have more money than mom( mom gets a 40,000 settlement in jan)- mom has someone taking care of her so dad struggles sometimes but is always willing to keep moms relationship with children there while mom does not want too- is that not also a factor- which parent is going to foster a relationship-

Here is what you are not understanding.

In a MARRIAGE that is breaking up, each parent has equal footing and things like stability and marital status and financial responsibility and all of that play enormously - because a decision has to be made between two legally equal parties and sometimes those nuances are so small as to be nearly invisible to an uninvolved party. For example, I recently won a custody case w/my ex after 2 years of court battles based on ONLY 1 factor - which of us is more likely to provide a continuing and positive relationship with the other parent.

However

In an unmarried situation, when there is NO custody determination and there hasn't been for years, as in this case, Mom already HAS custody of the kids by default. The parents are NOT on equal footing legally. Dad has to prove that he is overwhelmingly so much better than Mom that the upheaval caused by a custody change - particularly for special needs kids who currently have virtually no idea who he is - is outweighed by the better environment.

In order to do that, yes, he'll have to prove that mom is unfit to have custody of the children.

That's the downside of a non-married situation. It's not the only one, but it's a huge one.

It's not about dad being a better choice, it's about Dad being the ONLY choice. And that's a HUGE burden.

 

[jaxpink]

Here is what you are not understanding.

In a MARRIAGE that is breaking up, each parent has equal footing and things like stability and marital status and financial responsibility and all of that play enormously - because a decision has to be made between two legally equal parties and sometimes those nuances are so small as to be nearly invisible to an uninvolved party. For example, I recently won a custody case w/my ex after 2 years of court battles based on ONLY 1 factor - which of us is more likely to provide a continuing and positive relationship with the other parent.

However

In an unmarried situation, when there is NO custody determination and there hasn't been for years, as in this case, Mom already HAS custody of the kids by default. The parents are NOT on equal footing legally. Dad has to prove that he is overwhelmingly so much better than Mom that the upheaval caused by a custody change - particularly for special needs kids who currently have virtually no idea who he is - is outweighed by the better environment.

In order to do that, yes, he'll have to prove that mom is unfit to have custody of the children.

That's the downside of a non-married situation. It's not the only one, but it's a huge one.

It's not about dad being a better choice, it's about Dad being the ONLY choice. And that's a HUGE burden.

thanks !! yes i am aware of the married situation and dad has to file to get custody and so far thats what is going on- mon and das att are due in court to begin finals in Jan- Dads att wants a social background on anyone in contact with babies- should help dad-

 

[jaxpink]

by the way CJ -i have friend in Olathe KS- Wonder how far u are from there!

 

[CJane]

by the way CJ -i have friend in Olathe KS- Wonder how far u are from there!

Right this second? 15 minutes.

 

[Silverplum]

Dads att wants a social background on anyone in contact with babies- should help dad-

What's good for the goose is good for the gander. Whatever Dad files on Mom, she will surely file back -- or a judge will order it. As a very good friend of mine likes to say, "Fair Is Fair."

 

[CJane]

What's good for the goose is good for the gander. Whatever Dad files on Mom, she will surely file back -- or a judge will order it. As a very good friend of mine likes to say, "Fair Is Fair."

Heh. And it's MY experience that the person requesting such things rarely wants to invite such scrutiny into their lives.

 

[jaxpink]

What's good for the goose is good for the gander. Whatever Dad files on Mom, she will surely file back -- or a judge will order it. As a very good friend of mine likes to say, "Fair Is Fair."

well moms family has rapes, sexual abuse and physical abuse to the mom and her sisters-
mom's mother's male companions now and past have been a cause of this as well-
so any social done will be beneficial to dad- dad has no other children and no criminal background besides one animal cruelty charge but does not show up on his record-
dad moved once out of state to complete a job and came right back- mom has moved twice before - (while babies where in hosp.) nov 06 then out of state (Nov 06) and back to tx in feb 06 then again in july 07- told courts she was at her bf parents address and when asked mom said she had no clue how her lawyer got that address-

 

[CJane]

well moms family has rapes, sexual abuse and physical abuse to the mom and her sisters-

Irrelevant.

mom's mother's male companions now and past have been a cause of this as well-

Irrelevant unless Dad/CPS did something AT THE TIME. Mom's past up until the second dad filed for custody? Irrelevant. ESPECIALLY the past that was before he decided she made a peachy mom for his kids by having sex with her.

so any social done will be beneficial to dad- dad has no other children and no criminal background besides one animal cruelty charge but does not show up on his record-

Oh yeah? And why doesn't it? Does mom know about it? What was if for? Can he 'explain' it?

dad moved once out of state to complete a job and came right back- mom has moved twice before nov 06 then out of stateNov 06) and back to tx in feb 06 then again in july 07- told courts she was at her bf parents address and when asked mom said she had no clue how her lawyer got that address-

Irrelevant.

 

[jaxpink]

i am assuming it was misdemeaner thats why. his neighbors did not control the animals and yes mom knows - she loves to bring it up- So mom or dads history has no relevence to the situation at all correct ??
Only from September til a judge decides is what is condidered.
If a judge doesnt care a molester is watching the children than i guess the legal system has failed.