Seeking Legal Advice for Child Custody Situation

[AZDAD94]

What is the name of your state? Arizona - Pinal County. I am the father of two children, aged 3 and 5, both of whom have autism. I've been in a relationship with their mother for 7 years, but our relationship has become toxic, marked by frequent yelling and fighting, often in front of our children. Due to financial constraints, we recently moved in with my father. However, within just two weeks of this move, the situation escalated dramatically.

On one unfortunate night, my children's mother became intoxicated and aggressive, leading to her losing her job. She physically assaulted me, prompting me to call the police. This was not the first time she assaulted me, but the first time I reported it. Unfortunately, she had left by the time they arrived, and despite my attempts to press charges for domestic abuse, I received no response from the authorities. I have video evidence of the assault that night.

Furthermore, I discovered multiple empty whiskey bottles in our shared car, which alarmed me given the unsafe environment it could create for my children. I took pictures of those too. Currently, she is staying with friends, unemployed, has no income, no vehicle, and is clearly unable to provide a stable environment for our kids.

In light of these circumstances, here are the legal actions I've taken so far:

• On 8/29, I filed for an order of protection which was granted, restricting her contact with me to discussions related to the children.
• I also filed for temporary emergency custody on 8/29, but it was denied due to her already leaving the residence.
• Additionally, I filed a Petition to Establish Legal Decision Making & Parenting Time.
• On 9/12, there was a Zoom meeting with the judge and my children's mother. Unfortunately, she did not agree to relinquish custody, so another hearing is scheduled for October 3. My understanding is during this hearing, both parties will present their cases and evidence.

My question is: On October 3, when the judge considers the Petition to Establish Legal Decision Making & Parenting Time, does this encompass the issue of custody? Considering the circumstances, is there a good chance that I could obtain full custody of my children? Would it be advisable to have legal representation with me on October 3?

Thank you for your guidance and assistance.

Zack

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? Arizona - Pinal County. I am the father of two children, aged 3 and 5, both of whom have autism. I've been in a relationship with their mother for 7 years, but our relationship has become toxic, marked by frequent yelling and fighting, often in front of our children. Due to financial constraints, we recently moved in with my father. However, within just two weeks of this move, the situation escalated dramatically.

On one unfortunate night, my children's mother became intoxicated and aggressive, leading to her losing her job. She physically assaulted me, prompting me to call the police. This was not the first time she assaulted me, but the first time I reported it. Unfortunately, she had left by the time they arrived, and despite my attempts to press charges for domestic abuse, I received no response from the authorities. I have video evidence of the assault that night.

Furthermore, I discovered multiple empty whiskey bottles in our shared car, which alarmed me given the unsafe environment it could create for my children. I took pictures of those too. Currently, she is staying with friends, unemployed, has no income, no vehicle, and is clearly unable to provide a stable environment for our kids.

In light of these circumstances, here are the legal actions I've taken so far:

• On 8/29, I filed for an order of protection which was granted, restricting her contact with me to discussions related to the children.
• I also filed for temporary emergency custody on 8/29, but it was denied due to her already leaving the residence.
• Additionally, I filed a Petition to Establish Legal Decision Making & Parenting Time.
• On 9/12, there was a Zoom meeting with the judge and my children's mother. Unfortunately, she did not agree to relinquish custody, so another hearing is scheduled for October 3. My understanding is during this hearing, both parties will present their cases and evidence.

My question is: On October 3, when the judge considers the Petition to Establish Legal Decision Making & Parenting Time, does this encompass the issue of custody? Considering the circumstances, is there a good chance that I could obtain full custody of my children? Would it be advisable to have legal representation with me on October 3?

Thank you for your guidance and assistance.

Zack

Establishing legal decision making and parenting time is the same thing as establishing custody. Whether or not you have a chance at full custody depends on your definition of full custody. The norm these days is joint legal custody (joint decision making) and a timeshare that is established based on the best interests of the particular children in question. Things have to be pretty bad before one parent can get sole decision making and/or no timeshare for the other parent. You are really no where near that at this point. So, if you really mean primary custody (joint decision making with you having the majority of the timeshare) that is possible but not guaranteed of course because we only have your side of the story. If you mean sole decision making and no timeshare for mom that is not at all likely at this point.

The pictures of the whiskey bottles in the car won't be of much use. There is no proof she was drinking and driving with the children in the car and it could be argued that you planted them (not saying you did, just that it could be argued). The potential domestic violence isn't of any real use either without an arrest.

Who has been the parent primarily dealing with the children's medical and special needs issues? That could be quite significant.

 

[AZDAD94]

Thank you for your reply. To provide some context, our 5-year-old was diagnosed with level 2 autism two years ago, a diagnosis that their mother continues to be in denial about. Meanwhile, our 3-year-old, who is non-verbal, has an upcoming appointment for diagnosis scheduled in November that I made and am taking him to. Throughout their lives, I have been the primary financial provider for our children, as their mother has struggled to maintain employment for more than a few months at a time. I've been consistently employed with the same full-time job for the past 6 years, provided and paid for the children's medical care, and I've taken on the responsibility of coordinating all of their medical appointments. Furthermore, I am the one who primarily provides transportation for these appointments. Additionally, I take care of the daily school and daycare drop-offs and pickups. Currently the mother can see the children most anytime, currently with my supervision. This was not ordered by the court but rather what has been adopted since she was served with the order of protection. I really don't trust her judgment with the kids and best case I would be looking for full custody/decision making authority with the mother having supervised visitation only. It doesn't sound likely but that's my best case scenario.

 

[adjusterjack]

Would it be advisable to have legal representation with me on October 3?

Yes.

There is a double standard in this country where mothers have the leverage to get custody and father's get visitation and pay child support, especially in a culturally provincial rural county like Pinal.

The bar is set pretty low for motherhood.

You may be in for an unpleasant surprise at the hearing. Wouldn't surprise me if she attends with an attorney.

Consult an attorney who is experienced with your judge and can tell you which way the wind is likely to blow.

 

[LdiJ]

Thank you for your reply. To provide some context, our 5-year-old was diagnosed with level 2 autism two years ago, a diagnosis that their mother continues to be in denial about. Meanwhile, our 3-year-old, who is non-verbal, has an upcoming appointment for diagnosis scheduled in November that I made and am taking him to. Throughout their lives, I have been the primary financial provider for our children, as their mother has struggled to maintain employment for more than a few months at a time. I've been consistently employed with the same full-time job for the past 6 years, provided and paid for the children's medical care, and I've taken on the responsibility of coordinating all of their medical appointments. Furthermore, I am the one who primarily provides transportation for these appointments. Additionally, I take care of the daily school and daycare drop-offs and pickups. Currently the mother can see the children most anytime, currently with my supervision. This was not ordered by the court but rather what has been adopted since she was served with the order of protection. I really don't trust her judgment with the kids and best case I would be looking for full custody/decision making authority with the mother having supervised visitation only. It doesn't sound likely but that's my best case scenario.

You may have a shot a primary custody based on those details (again, we only have your side of the story) but I don't see supervised visitation happening or even sole decision making. In fact, there is a chance that you will get dinged for only allowing supervised visitation now. Maybe not if mom doesn't make a big stink about it but be forewarned. However, I am not suggesting that you don't supervise visitation at this point, but make sure that you really believe it is necessary because there is a chance it could hurt you.

Judges tend to favor parents who demonstrate that they recognize the importance of both parents in the children's lives. That doesn't mean that you should not protect your children to the best of your ability, but it does mean that you need to be careful that you aren't subconsciously trying to erase mom because you are breaking up. The fact that you are willing to supervise even though there is an order of protection tends to make it look like you are really not afraid of mom therefore you don't really need the order of protection. Moms get dinged for getting unnecessary orders of protection sometimes too.

 

[AlmostThere]

I would suggest that you try and get the older child in for counseling. At the worst it does nothing. But if mom is as bad as you say, having an established relationship with a counselor will give your child a lot of support. That does not even touch on the fact that having counseling in place to help your child deal with the extra stresses a neurodivergent child may feel when entering school.

Also, it will give you a professional to help guide you through the best ways to handle the relationship between your children and their mom. How to maintain contact between mom and her children in a way that is healthy.

 

[commentator]

Beyond question, it would be a good idea to have legal custody with you at the hearing in October. From the details we are hearing, and from the situations you describe, it will look well for you to have a legal professional involved, not just appear and go into what YOU personally have decided and worked out and are asking for. Likewise, the counseling. Even if you are a prodigy of multitasking, you cannot be income provider, and sole caregiver and emotional supporter and decision maker for these two children without a lot of help from several different sources. (And none of these needs to be anything like a new significant other that is in your life, by the way.) The more you show you have lined up, the more likely you are to stay in what you want. I also got the "erase her" vibe here, and that is something you do NOT want the court to pick up on.

 

[AZDAD94]

Yes.

There is a double standard in this country where mothers have the leverage to get custody and father's get visitation and pay child support, especially in a culturally provincial rural county like Pinal.

The bar is set pretty low for motherhood.

You may be in for an unpleasant surprise at the hearing. Wouldn't surprise me if she attends with an attorney.

Consult an attorney who is experienced with your judge and can tell you which way the wind is likely to blow.

Thank you for the advise. How would I find an attorney experienced with Judge Patrick Gard in Florence AZ?

 

[Zigner]

Thank you for the advise. How would I find an attorney experienced with Judge Patrick Gard in Florence AZ?

Search on the internet for family law attorneys in and around that area.