1) Minnesota
Arrangement from order: 50/50 joint legal and physical custody. Half week with mom, half week with me. We started that right away at age 1. Daughter went to school in mom’s district until the end of second grade and I asked mom to switch districts to get more help. I dropped her off at school in the mornings on my days. Daughter was functioning at a level of first grader at beginning of third. Daughter wasn’t doing homework at moms, and was falling behind also due to ADD and adjustment disorder we found out later see third paragraph. Mom agreed to switch districts, we live 25 minutes apart, and we decided to switch the parenting time.
Verbal agreement we have had for the last 3 years: Daughter is with me during school year during the week, sees mom on weekends. Daughter goes to summer school and then goes with mom during summer and comes with me on some weekends during the summer. This was working well.
I was able to get her some therapy, we tried family therapy, but mom wasn’t following therapist recommendations, at the last session which mom did not show to, therapist recommended that child have limited time spent with mom due to instability and inconsistency to follow our daughters needs and therapy.
Daughter is now almost caught up in school, she is under average for her grade level, she has a way to go, but making great strides in standardized test scores and grades improving more and more each time she takes them. She has an IEP number. This summer since she did so well and she is getting older I agreed to let mom enroll daughter in summer school in her district (she moved since). She lives with on and off again fiancé. Well, needless to say she lied to me about summer school and daughter never went. The whole point of her going to summer school outside the current district was for her to meet some friends by her moms house. Daughter wanted to meet friends we thought this would be a nice compromise.
Now I find out mom trying to enroll her in that school for the fall of this year. School called me about it and they have refused to release her records to this new school. I am at a cross roads. I do not want to bash my daughters mother, but she is not looking out for the best interest of our daughter and her needs.
She needs stable environment and her moms relationship is on rocky ground. I have a civil relationship with her fiancé, and we talk. He is really a good role model for our daughter, but right now they are on probational period in their relationship to see if they can make it work. Mom cannot hold a steady job she has a new job at least 2-3 times a year. If she were to kicked out of fiancés house she would move into her parents apartment 2 bedrooms, which I forgot to mention where her other child lives.
She doesn’t take care of him, she visits with him when she can. I could go on, but I am not. What I want to know is this will be a court battle I am sure, coming up. I got her to agree at this time to keep her in school at her current district because it will be her last year in elementary school and because her fiancé helped her see that there it is a bad idea to be changing the arrangements with their future so unsure.
What are the chances that I if I file for modification that I will win the case? I want to keep the schedule that she has been doing so well on and keep her in the district that has been doing so well with her. They have built rapport with her and knows what it takes to get her to achieve and make strides in her learning. I don’t want to change that, besides the fact the instability that her mother is providing. I want to ask for full legal, just because we never agree on anything anymore. I have no problem allowing her access to information, and providing it for any case, but I just don’t feel that her mom is making decisions based on the best interest of our daughter. What are your thoughts?
Arrangement from order: 50/50 joint legal and physical custody. Half week with mom, half week with me. We started that right away at age 1. Daughter went to school in mom’s district until the end of second grade and I asked mom to switch districts to get more help. I dropped her off at school in the mornings on my days. Daughter was functioning at a level of first grader at beginning of third. Daughter wasn’t doing homework at moms, and was falling behind also due to ADD and adjustment disorder we found out later see third paragraph. Mom agreed to switch districts, we live 25 minutes apart, and we decided to switch the parenting time.
Verbal agreement we have had for the last 3 years: Daughter is with me during school year during the week, sees mom on weekends. Daughter goes to summer school and then goes with mom during summer and comes with me on some weekends during the summer. This was working well.
I was able to get her some therapy, we tried family therapy, but mom wasn’t following therapist recommendations, at the last session which mom did not show to, therapist recommended that child have limited time spent with mom due to instability and inconsistency to follow our daughters needs and therapy.
Daughter is now almost caught up in school, she is under average for her grade level, she has a way to go, but making great strides in standardized test scores and grades improving more and more each time she takes them. She has an IEP number. This summer since she did so well and she is getting older I agreed to let mom enroll daughter in summer school in her district (she moved since). She lives with on and off again fiancé. Well, needless to say she lied to me about summer school and daughter never went. The whole point of her going to summer school outside the current district was for her to meet some friends by her moms house. Daughter wanted to meet friends we thought this would be a nice compromise.
Now I find out mom trying to enroll her in that school for the fall of this year. School called me about it and they have refused to release her records to this new school. I am at a cross roads. I do not want to bash my daughters mother, but she is not looking out for the best interest of our daughter and her needs.
She needs stable environment and her moms relationship is on rocky ground. I have a civil relationship with her fiancé, and we talk. He is really a good role model for our daughter, but right now they are on probational period in their relationship to see if they can make it work. Mom cannot hold a steady job she has a new job at least 2-3 times a year. If she were to kicked out of fiancés house she would move into her parents apartment 2 bedrooms, which I forgot to mention where her other child lives.
She doesn’t take care of him, she visits with him when she can. I could go on, but I am not. What I want to know is this will be a court battle I am sure, coming up. I got her to agree at this time to keep her in school at her current district because it will be her last year in elementary school and because her fiancé helped her see that there it is a bad idea to be changing the arrangements with their future so unsure.
What are the chances that I if I file for modification that I will win the case? I want to keep the schedule that she has been doing so well on and keep her in the district that has been doing so well with her. They have built rapport with her and knows what it takes to get her to achieve and make strides in her learning. I don’t want to change that, besides the fact the instability that her mother is providing. I want to ask for full legal, just because we never agree on anything anymore. I have no problem allowing her access to information, and providing it for any case, but I just don’t feel that her mom is making decisions based on the best interest of our daughter. What are your thoughts?
