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Self Absorbed Bum

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deel

Junior Member
What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? New Hampshire

I have been going through the divorce from hell. S/T/B/X cash business $50 a month child support for two kids. After 7 years and still not profitable enough to support the family I asked him to find employment and help with finances h e refused and left. Since then living the life of a porno star New Harley, vacations, spends 2 months in FLA in the winter , Superbowls the past 3 years, bought a beach cottage etccccc... I lost my job that had supported us through OUR goal of self employment. STUPIDLY not being involved in the business Antiques as I should of been. He had surprisingly come up with a substantial amount of $$$$ but to little to late. My credit is now junk, he has watched us almost lose the home he had lived in cash free for 17 years, file bankruptcy, go to public assistance, and spend every dime on a car that has still very short life .

He has blown his kids off repeatldly for the past two summers managed to see them very rarely. His schedule just what I know is as follows 3rd week of Jan go to the Superbowl (whereever it may be) Mardis Gras along the way, then off to Florida told my son he stays in the Keys for a week has a "show" he does there, Daytona Bike Week then on his way home in March sometime. May beach cottage is open and spends summer with his new found peers, June Bike Show in NH another week, August 3 week trip cross country to Sturgis, October Biketoberfest in Daytona. I find it hard to keep the tension out of my childrens life a daughter who is 13 and a son who is 16. They have watched him for two years.S/T/B/X MAIN INTEREST IS NOW IMPRESSING HIS NEW FOUND PEERS AS MR EXCITEMENT . Mykids hear nothing of his exciting adventures not even a shirt or postcard. They also watched a cheap , greedy "father" make a drama of any request they have asked for.
He lives with his mother who is in her 80's and a brother who is an enraged alchoholic who as s/t/b/x
never worked a 9-5 and has lived with MOM paying the bills since I have known him. The kids can not talk to him if they hit a anerve he gets angry crys whatever to avoid a subject. They know nothing about him. I wonder if they really knew what he was if they'd be impressed. My son has caught him smoking dope another issue. He has told him he smokes and has smoked ever since he was 15. I don't know why he had brought the subject up to him befor and I told him to leave my son out of his drug life and there is no reason he needs to share that with him. Well he decided to share. My son came home with a fist full of pot and asked me what it was I told him and he then told me that is what his father is smoking. Upon returning from FLA and the week before court ($50 a month) he had an auction and wanted the kids to help he would pay them$50 each and all his other schmos besides. He had also informed me he had JUST started seeing someone I had told him he should sit down with the kids and let them know not spring her on them. Well at the auction a blond came up to them and introduced herself as his girlfriend. I was called by my son to come get her she was upset no calming her down. Her father never even went to her. I picked her up and he sent my son out also to go home. He was going to take them for a long weekend. Neither want to go with him. I called to leave a voice message saying that he should talk to his daughter he picked up the phone and with an audience beside him he started yelling that he doesn't love me and to leave him alone and why did I take his daughter and son and on and on.... I have been forcing these kids to see him for two years at that point I told him I would leave it up to them.One weekend when he was suppose to take my son and had told him he had plans my I was gone that weekend my son told him I would not let him stay alone his DAD told him just to tell me he was with him he wouldn't say anything, he FORGOT to pick them up one weekend again I was away closing up our camper and he shut his phone off and just never showed after I spoke with him the night before. IT goes on and on .......
I knew that if they stopped seeing him it was an easy way out for him . My son told him that he would set the times and it is MON AND THURS DADS in the driveway before son is off the school bus and back home before supper maybe a movie. He has allowed this. He threatens me about his daughter she will not see him. He has left messages BUT there is no way I would not see my daughter for a year. They are starting counseling .

Legally am I at fault???
 


LdiJ

Senior Member
I have no idea if you are at fault or not. Dad is obviously a jerk (however your post was somewhat confusing)...but that doesn't have much to do with the legal issues.

What do your court orders actually SAY regarding visitation?
 

deel

Junior Member
THANKS FOR RESPONSE.
LEGAL TEMPORARY JOINT.
PHYSICAL MYSELF TEMPORARY SOLE
VISITATION /PHYSICAL REASONABLE AND LIBERAL VISITATION

This was written by his lawyer in 2003 I didn't expect it to be as ugly or him to be as irresponsible as it has become. Still BLOWS ME AWAY. Not to get on a podieum but I think trying to keep my kids out of this chaos which is impossible and venting no negativity about thier father is more harmful than explaining the truth (not in detail). I feel if he can not set a good example than he can at least bestow upon them a bad example of what not to do. I am raising a son who will be a husband and father (hopefully) some day and a daughter who will be a wife and mother. I am going through a tradgedy which I never "set myself up for" and have tried to keep anger, hurt, betrayel out of reason, AND ITS DAMN HARD!!!!
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
deel said:
THANKS FOR RESPONSE.
LEGAL TEMPORARY JOINT.
PHYSICAL MYSELF TEMPORARY SOLE
VISITATION /PHYSICAL REASONABLE AND LIBERAL VISITATION

This was written by his lawyer in 2003 I didn't expect it to be as ugly or him to be as irresponsible as it has become. Still BLOWS ME AWAY. Not to get on a podieum but I think trying to keep my kids out of this chaos which is impossible and venting no negativity about thier father is more harmful than explaining the truth (not in detail). I feel if he can not set a good example than he can at least bestow upon them a bad example of what not to do. I am raising a son who will be a husband and father (hopefully) some day and a daughter who will be a wife and mother. I am going through a tradgedy which I never "set myself up for" and have tried to keep anger, hurt, betrayel out of reason, AND ITS DAMN HARD!!!!

With an order like that you can't really be held in contempt for denying visitation...because the order isn't specific. Dad can take you back to court for more specific orders, but you can't really be held in contempt.

However......you can be held in contempt for being too "honest" with the kids and involving them in adult matters. I understand how you feel...but judges REALLY do not approve of parents bad mouthing the other parent...even if the other parent deserves it. It also puts your kids in the middle...which really isn't fair to them.
 

deel

Junior Member
I Understand What Your Saying But Again The Kids Are 13 And 16 And They Have Eyes And Ears. What Do I Do When Its Pretty Point Blank Whats Going On. S/t/b/x Cares About Noone Right Now Other Than Himself. He Has Proven That Time And Again . The Kids Are Nothing More Than An Inconvienience To Him And Unfortunately They Have Come To Realize This. I Would Not Want Anything More Than To Of Had Him End This Divorce In A Cival Way And Not To Of Put All Of Us Through Such Hell. We Could Of Been Friends???? Just Be Fair And Care Our Kids Are At A Hard Age Where Stability And Trust Is Important. I Thank God I Have A 24 Year Old Son Who Is Definately And Pretty Much Has Always Been More Interested In My Son And Is A Role Model And A Great One At That. My Daughter Simpley Said How Many Lies Does A 13 Year Old Have To Hear?? I Looked At Her And Realized How Much I Had Put Up With And How Hard I Tried To Believe. I Don't Know What Will Come Of This I Doubt There Will Be Any Great Awakening . The Fear Of Court Has Kept Him From Any Other Extravagencies Even Though I Think He Is Living The Fantasy Of Many Men. We All Would Like At Some Time To Just Get In The Old Minivan Trade It In For A Vet A Drive Till You Hit The Keys But Ya Just Don't Do That!!!!! No Conscience Iguess ....lucky For Him Hes Got Me
 

I AM ALWAYS LIABLE

Senior Member
deel said:
I Understand What Your Saying But Again The Kids Are 13 And 16 And They Have Eyes And Ears. What Do I Do When Its Pretty Point Blank Whats Going On. S/t/b/x Cares About Noone Right Now Other Than Himself. He Has Proven That Time And Again . The Kids Are Nothing More Than An Inconvienience To Him And Unfortunately They Have Come To Realize This. I Would Not Want Anything More Than To Of Had Him End This Divorce In A Cival Way And Not To Of Put All Of Us Through Such Hell. We Could Of Been Friends???? Just Be Fair And Care Our Kids Are At A Hard Age Where Stability And Trust Is Important. I Thank God I Have A 24 Year Old Son Who Is Definately And Pretty Much Has Always Been More Interested In My Son And Is A Role Model And A Great One At That. My Daughter Simpley Said How Many Lies Does A 13 Year Old Have To Hear?? I Looked At Her And Realized How Much I Had Put Up With And How Hard I Tried To Believe. I Don't Know What Will Come Of This I Doubt There Will Be Any Great Awakening . The Fear Of Court Has Kept Him From Any Other Extravagencies Even Though I Think He Is Living The Fantasy Of Many Men. We All Would Like At Some Time To Just Get In The Old Minivan Trade It In For A Vet A Drive Till You Hit The Keys But Ya Just Don't Do That!!!!! No Conscience Iguess ....lucky For Him Hes Got Me


My response:

You forgot to capitalize one of your words. Can you find which one? (this is like a "Where's Waldo" question)

IAAL
 

deel

Junior Member
Sorry I confused you but really would prefer replies that pertain to the post not cute remarks . If your bored go to the Wheres Waldo web sight and send in all the comments you like. I would think people posting in these forums are a bit stressed and probably more interested in relaying the information verses the precise way of typing a post. Besides I THINK it makes it look interesting.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
You may think it looks more interesting, but it's also more difficult to read. Just as posting a huge block of text w/o paragraphs is difficult to read. A lot of people - including many who may be able to provide you the answers you seek, won't even bother if it's hard to read. I generally don't, unless something in the first line or two captures my interest.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
Actually, it didn't. I read the first couple of lines, then scrolled down to see if the responses indicated a further reading was warranted.
 

deel

Junior Member
Well Golly Gee Stealth Thanks For The Input I Now Have A Thread That Will
Certainly Grasp The Attention Of A More Dynamic Group I'm Sure. TATA
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
deel said:
Well Golly Gee Stealth Thanks For The Input I Now Have A Thread That Will
Certainly Grasp The Attention Of A More Dynamic Group I'm Sure. TATA
You are ignoring honest advice. People tend to NOT read posts in all caps...NOT read posts that are huge long blocks without being broken up into paragraphs, and NOT read posts that have every word capitalized. If you want good advice....then stick to standard writing.
 

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