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Separated for 3 1/2 years

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New member
I am cutting out a lot of the details. Their is a lot more drama. :(
  1. Heterosexual relationship
  2. We have 2 kids. Young
  3. End of 2019 she asked for a separation. I didn't want it but she insisted because we had not had sex in a year. I asked for that we see a marriage counselor and she refused. Their were several reasons, he alcoholism which she refused to acknowledge which created a disconnect in our relationship. She also became morbidly obese and blamed me for just about everything.
  4. I agreed a week later to a separation. This was done verbally, no involvement in any agency. 2 weeks later she slept with someone else and proceeded to have a relationship with another man
  5. I didn't know at first but I felt something not right. She still slept in the same bed and would, at all hours wake me up with music and talking to people including men and pretending she wasn't. Very much gaslighting me. Which clued me and then I found evidence of her doing so and found out who she was with.
  6. She had totaled her car completely on her way to a lover. She bought a used car and had 2 additional accidents. No insurance company wanted to insure her. So she could no longer drive. I was very much relieved because she was a really bad driver.
  7. We saw a therapist but the therapist did not do a very good job with her as, she, the therapist went towards my side of things and said things that my wife could not handle or believe. Mostly about the alcoholism.
  8. Couple of years of a terrible separation. At the time I could not afford a divorce so it was cheaper to keep her due to the fact also that I could not trust her with the kids. One night I came him to a house filled with gas. She had turned on the stove and was just sitting near the living room table and drooling completely drunk. The gas stove was on with no fire. I opened all the windows and doors and turn the fan on to aerate the house. I was in shock.
  9. She then did the unthinkable. She drove drunk with the kids in the car. She was not just drunk but wasted. Luckily people pulled her over before it would turn into a tragedy.
  10. They arrested her and I had to go pick up the children from the police department. Worst day of my life.
  11. The kids seemed ok but they explained what happened and told me that the don't feel safe around her anymore. She lost her license.
  12. She then broke up with her former boyfriend and found somebody else closer. Slowly she moved into his house and she has not been in the house for the last year.
  13. She used to give me some money but that stopped 6 months ago. All she does now is pay the car payments for a car that I cosigned with her. That's all.
  14. I take the kids 5 days a week sleeping over and she takes for 2-3 days. Sometimes she takes them from 5:30PM to 8:30-9PM.
The kids are now complaining that she is drunk while they are their. They describe to me all of it.


Senior Member
File for divorce and custody.

Can't afford a lawyer.

Go online to your family court website and find forms and instructions. Do it yourself.

Or, continue being complacent and it will never end.

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