Renate said:
What is a legal seperation and how does it work...Thanks for all your advise it is much appreciated
My response:
Legal Separation
When a person wants to separate from his or her spouse, but does not want to terminate the marriage, he or she may file a lawsuit asking the court to order a legal separation.
Taxes and moral reasons are the main forces behind this infrequent approach. Such a court order may also allocate parental rights and responsibilities, order the payment of child support or spousal support, and provide for the division of marital property and the distribution of assets.
Legal separation is used by people who choose not to terminate their marriage for religious reasons, or in order to protect assets. During legal separation, requirements can vary from state to state. Usually states require a year, or 6 months apart for separations. While you might be able to live in the same house, that gets very tricky. If the one who least wants the divorce decides to fight it, they may claim that there is no separation. Getting legally separated can avert that.
Not only does separation mean that you aren't sleeping together but it usually also means that you are eating and entertaining separately and that chores are done independently. If you are reluctant to make so many changes and want to move more slowly, realize that this is normal. However you may not yet be separated then, legally or emotionally.
One of the biggest mistakes made at this point of the relationship is to not make copies of the finances. Both parties should make duplicates, and it is probably best to get new credit cards. It is never too soon to get a financial consultant, especially one who is familiar with separation and divorce.
Many changes are in store if you are just starting out with separation or divorce. The following list makes some of the more obvious points. Each in its own way requires new skills at a time when you may already be feeling overwhelmed. If you neglect yourself in the process, who will handle all these changes? Try to keep them manageable, don't do too much all at once.
So, unless you have some sort of religious or tax reasons for not obtaining a divorce, then legal separation may be your answer. Just be advised that if you do get a legal separation, and later decide you want to end this "paper marriage", you're going to have to start all over again, and start paying an attorney all over again.
Good luck to you,
IAAL
