Seventeen and Twenty?

[Yoprospero9287]

What is the name of your state? Florida

Ok, I am seventeen and a senior in High School and I have a problem. About ten months ago I started dating a friend of mine, at the time he was nineteen. My mom met him and liked him but when she found out his age about two months later flipped out. Told me that I couldn't see him.. So for about eight months we saw each other in secret. I was his first "real" girlfriend and we were very attached to each other. Recently my mom found out that I was still seeing him and she threw another fit, forbidding me from so much as leaving the house. I am forbidden to do anything and I can't even use the phone. She says that she doesn't even want me living in her house and that she doesn't even want me as a daughter. and to make things worse, he just turned twenty about a month ago and I won't be eighteen for about another 9 months.. Now please, don't get me wrong, I know what I did was wrong but I think she is overreacting, I mean, I take care of this house more than she does, I take care of my brother and sister while she is at work or at meetings..
She says that she is going to call the police on him, but I just want to know if it is illegal to date him. We don't have sex, we just like being with each other. Please Help!

 

[cbg]

Is it illegal for you to date him? No, it's not. I don't know offhand what the laws are for consentual sex in your state, but non-sexual dating is okay.

However, as long as you are under 18 and still living under your mom's roof, if she says you can't see him, you can't see him. It doesn't have to be illegal for her to have the legal right to say no to you.

 

[Yoprospero9287]

Thank you for your reply, at least now I know where I stand. I guess I'll just have to wait to see if the feelings are still strong by my next birthday. Thanks again.

 

[thelizzy]

I think that is the most mature response I have ever read to someone asking about an age-related relationship. I commend your maturity.

 

[DrewfromCA]

Yes, very mature, and just to add, I think you may think she is over-reacting, and maybe she is a bit, but you will understand that it is a parent's job to protect their kids. A 17 year old girl dating a 20 year old, while probably not that weird to you, to adults who are older, that is a serious red flag alert.

With all the hormones and immaturity in pretty much all teens, they don't really see what sitiuations like this may lead to, such as early pregnancy, single-parent households, etc.

If you aren't having sex, that is good, and you should tell your mother that. I don't know if she'll buy it, but let her know that you would never risk your future at such a young age. (If true, of course)

Anyway, good luck!

 

[Yoprospero9287]

Once again, I apprectiate your advice and I can understand that. I wish that she would talk to him and let him know how she feels and maybe give him a chance. I wouldn't mind hanging out with him here at my house or things like that. He talked to my dad and appologized for going against my mother and his wishes and my dad respects that. But if my mom would just let him appologize or talk to her.. Oh well. Anyways, Thanks again.

 

[stealth2]

Can you ask your Dad if he'd be able to get Mom to go along with having your friend come to the house for dinner? Let her get to know him and see atht y'all are willing to follow their rules until you're of age? Worth a try, anyway.

 

[Yoprospero9287]

Wish it was as easy as it sounds.... My Dad lives about two and half hours away.

 

[melya1704]

It actually is not illegal for you to date or have any sexual relations with him....just to make it clear ..try looking in the statues closely. It says anyone 24 or older having sexual relations with a person 17 or younger can be found guilty of a felony. Interpret that and it says anyone under 24 can have sexual relations with a 16 or 17 year old. ( It does state no one over 18 can have sexual relations with anyone under 16). im not telling you to do it just informing you of the actual stated law in florida.

 

[stealth2]

It actually is not illegal for you to date or have any sexual relations with him....just to make it clear ..try looking in the statues closely. It says anyone 24 or older having sexual relations with a person 17 or younger can be found guilty of a felony. Interpret that and it says anyone under 24 can have sexual relations with a 16 or 17 year old. ( It does state no one over 18 can have sexual relations with anyone under 16). im not telling you to do it just informing you of the actual stated law in florida.

And the parents can STILL bar contact between them.