Sexually abused 20 month old

[AngelHearts]

Connecticut

I became homeless awhile back (about a year ago) and DCF took my son they have constantly done wrong things. Allowing the foster mother to post pictures of him on Facebook, the foster mother refusing me visits with my son (him disappearing when workers went to pick him up), her refusing to give his things to me when I got him back, and several other things. I recieved 3 visits a week 2 hours each. Just recently (about 2 weeks into him being home for good) we started noticing behavior from him like him trying to touch the dog inappropriately, he ran into then bit my mother's private areas, he went between my legs and opened his mouth and made motions like he was performing oral sexual acts and several other things. The daycare while he was in DCF care was very bad, he always had several new bruises every time i saw him and I looked up the daycare; they have had several citations since 2006 for child abuse and neglect. I brought this up with my lawyer and the judge and they made DCF investigated since no incident reports were found. Not even a week later they changed his daycare facility and wouldn't tell me why. What can I do to bring my son justice? Everyone is saying he's too young to explain what happened so I should basically let it go. This is why people target young children... I made reports of him having this behavior and no one will investigate.

 

[CdwJava]

You say you found a record of "citations" in 2006 for "child abuse and neglect" and then go on to say that DCF "investigated" and found "no incident reports." If there were no reports, then how were there citations? And if there had been citations, where did you manage to find any record of them from 12 years ago? (Of course, such old cites are hardly proof of any current wrongdoing.)

Reports of abuse and neglect should be cross-reported to the police. If you made an actual report to DCF, they should have reported it to the police as well. Whether there was anything substantiated in that report, you may never know. You are certainly free to contact the police and make a report of your own.

Understand that such investigations are difficult. Depending on the nature of the allegations, the ages of the parties involved, and the nature of any evidence, these investigations might linger or they might conclude as unsubstantiated quite quickly. The observations you posted could be consistent with abuse, but they can also be consistent with other things as well. How deep or low long the police and/or DCF might investigate will depend on a host of factors.

If you have not personally done so, make your reports to DCF and the police. Keep in mind that you may not be kept in the loop as to the status of any investigation, so even if they are investigating, they will likely provide you with little information unless criminal charges are ultimately made.

If you have not done so, you should consider seeking out a reputable therapist who deals with abused children and might be able to assist you and your child.

 

[AngelHearts]

I found a news article that stated a few of there citations and then said there were others. I found a few more on other sites too. Incident reports for my son specifically. Indicent reports are different like usually when a kid falls they file an incident report. He was coming to the visits with bite marks, big bruises and one time a black eye with no explanation. My whole thing is
DCF refuses to investigate.
They will not even look into things they said there's nothing wrong and brushed it aside.
No therapist I can find services children under 3

 

[CdwJava]

If there had been "citations," it stands to reason there would have been reports. But, perhaps those citations were from the licensing agency and not DCF. In my state these are separate bodies, so I suspect that it might be the same in yours as well. Though, as I mentioned, a 12 year old "citation" is not proof that anything occurred recently.

I find it odd that DCF will not investigate, but, perhaps daycare matters are handled by another agency in your state. Have they specifically stated they WILL NOT investigate? Or, are you taking their silence or refusal to comment on your allegations as some form of complacency?

You are certainly free to contact the police with your suspicions, but I can pretty much guarantee that they will not update you with the status of any investigation, either. Not to mention the inherent difficulty in investigating such claims.

 

[Just Blue]

I found a news article that stated a few of there citations and then said there were others. I found a few more on other sites too. Incident reports for my son specifically. Indicent reports are different like usually when a kid falls they file an incident report. He was coming to the visits with bite marks, big bruises and one time a black eye with no explanation. My whole thing is
DCF refuses to investigate.
They will not even look into things they said there's nothing wrong and brushed it aside.
No therapist I can find services children under 3

Ask your son Pedi for a referral.

 

[AngelHearts]

I think it's through the licensing agency because they were from surprise walk ins most of them and they stated they refuse to investigate. It also isn't 12 years old that's just when they started getting them. The most recent was 2017

 

[AngelHearts]

Ask your son Pedi for a referral.

I did, they sent me somewhere where they only did a physical examination but wouldn't talk to him or try to get any answer. They were just "oh he won't remember when he's older probably. He can't talk (despite him being very vocal for his age) so we can't find out anything"

 

[CdwJava]

If the citations were from licensing, then I doubt they specifically involved abuse and neglect as those are far more serious claims than strictly licensing matters. I find it hard to believe that a daycare would remain open if an owner or operator allowed a child to be physically or secxually abused. Out here, the mere accusation is sufficient to shut the doors of many daycare providers in a great many cases. Though, if DCF did investigate those previous claims, they will NOT tell you. So, if you asked them about previous reports, they will likely not provide any information to you in any event.

 

[CdwJava]

I did, they sent me somewhere where they only did a physical examination but wouldn't talk to him or try to get any answer. They were just "oh he won't remember when he's older probably. He can't talk (despite him being very vocal for his age) so we can't find out anything"

That's the problem even with a criminal investigation. No complaining witness, no witness to any unlawful or untoward act, no physical evidence, no investigation to move forward.

 

[Just Blue]

I did, they sent me somewhere where they only did a physical examination but wouldn't talk to him or try to get any answer. They were just "oh he won't remember when he's older probably. He can't talk (despite him being very vocal for his age) so we can't find out anything"

He need play therapy. Ask the Pedi about a play therapist.

 

[AngelHearts]

That's the problem even with a criminal investigation. No complaining witness, no witness to any unlawful or untoward act, no physical evidence, no investigation to move forward.

That's why I don't know if I should go to the police or is there a special agency for kids under 3?? They will just turn me away because of lack of evidence

 

[AngelHearts]

He need play therapy. Ask the Pedi about a play therapist.

Will the play therapy shed some light on what happened? Or help him recover or both? I am involved with an agency that said they will do it for him but they said they don't know if the things actually happened

 

[Just Blue]

Will the play therapy shed some light on what happened? Or help him recover or both? I am involved with an agency that said they will do it for him but they said they don't know if the things actually happened

I doubt you will ever know for certain if he was abused or just exposed to inappropriate sexual behavior. Play therapy may help in "un-learning" the sexual behavior.

 

[CdwJava]

That's why I don't know if I should go to the police or is there a special agency for kids under 3?? They will just turn me away because of lack of evidence

Nope, it's the police. And there is no way to get around the difficulty in investigating these cases. Wishful thinking does not equate to mind reading or remote viewing of past events. If you want to report this as a possible crime, you go to the police.

 

[AngelHearts]

I'll go to the police and tell the agency to start the play therapy ASAP. Thank you everyone. If there's any other recommendations or advice please let me know