What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida
Hello, I'm writing to get advice for my best friend. She is going through a very rough time and I spoke to her about getting a lawyer but she is afraid she cannot afford it and it would not help. I wanted to ask a few things to see if they are worth going to court for. Her divorce was finalized in Oct. of 2008. She has 3 kids with her ex. They share joint custody. The schedule is every other weekend from Thur through Monday and every Wed night through Thursday they go to their father's home. He wanted this type of schedule so he could spend more time with them. On his weekends he ends up getting them from Wed through Monday.
One problem that arises is there is no set time frame, only days. He interprets it as whenever he gets out of work which is usually between 7-8pm (He works for himself and can change his hours but chooses not too. He likes going in at 10 or 11 am which is why he stays later.) She interprets it as school hours. She feels since she has them on Tues that once she drops them off at school on Wed morn, it should be his responsibility to either pick them up from school or arrange for daycare. This was an ongoing issue until she finally set up after school day care for them on Weds which she pays for because he says it's not his expense. She is a nurse, works from 7pm-7am 3 nights a week. She arranges her schedule to work on Weds and the nights that he has them so on her nights she is home. Which is why she cant keep them on Weds.
Next issue, the kids are 13, 8, and 5. The 13 yr old girl is a handful. Was before the divorce and continues to be. She has always been daddy's little girl and now she is daddy's best friend, confidante, and counselor. He tells her everything and she uses it to hurt her mother. (By the way, they got divorced because he cheated.) He told the 13yr old what he did and that he begged mom for forgiveness but she is bitter, refuses to forgive him and that she is the reason they got divorced and she is the reason the family is split apart. He continually tells her that if it were up to him they would all be together and that he would go back home if he could. The 13 yr old tortures mom with this and lashes out at her. Mom in turn started going to family counseling with daughter and after a few sessions they were talking with each other more freely and both were happier. Daughter told the counselor that she wanted to continue meeting with her and mom. Once dad saw this shift in behavior he now forbids daughter to attend counseling. Told daughter she is not allowed to go period. When mom tried taking her the daughter refused to get in car and told her that dad forbids it, she will not defy him, and you can't make me. Dad even emailed mom telling her that daughter was no longer to go to counseling.
The latest issue- Mom's grandmother passed away 2 days ago. She is very upset to say the least. Wake is today and funeral tomorrow. She was going to fly out last night with her brothers to go up north for the wake. Since this is his weekend he should have them from Wed through Mon giving her plenty of time to go to funeral. Knowing that she was leaving for the airport he refused to pick the children up from the after school day care. Told her she would have to. So she did and took them back to her house. She packed bags for the children and they were ready waiting for him. He never came. She missed her flight. He called after 8pm saying he was home and demanded that she drop them off. (He lives 2 streets away) Crying she said she would not drop them off, "you made me miss my flight, they are ready for you when you are ready to pick them up". She tried to switch her flight for this morning, her brothers left without her last night. Dad never picked them up last night or today. She has missed the wake and has given up on going to the funeral. He left her a nasty message on her vm saying he was going to take her to court for refusing to drop them off and for keeping them from him. Personally I think he is absolute scum and treated her worse than you treat a stranger, not even the common courtesy of "I'm sorry for your loss" but I don't think he has any legal standing.
The main questions are:
Can she have visitation order modified to put in specific times (ex: 3pm or when school is out)?
Who is responsible for child care expenses when it's only needed on the days that one parent has them?
Can he forbid child from attending counseling?
Can he be ordered into family counseling with them? (they cannot talk to each other without it turning ugly)
She emails him schedule every Sunday because she does not want to fight with him. He refused to open email and has told her through kids that he will not read anything, will only communicate in person. How can this be stopped?
I know I'm not her but right now she needs all the help she can get. I'd like to help her make a list of things to try that might help guide her away from the chaos.
Your thoughts and advice are greatly appreciated.
Thank you.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
Hello, I'm writing to get advice for my best friend. She is going through a very rough time and I spoke to her about getting a lawyer but she is afraid she cannot afford it and it would not help. I wanted to ask a few things to see if they are worth going to court for. Her divorce was finalized in Oct. of 2008. She has 3 kids with her ex. They share joint custody. The schedule is every other weekend from Thur through Monday and every Wed night through Thursday they go to their father's home. He wanted this type of schedule so he could spend more time with them. On his weekends he ends up getting them from Wed through Monday.
One problem that arises is there is no set time frame, only days. He interprets it as whenever he gets out of work which is usually between 7-8pm (He works for himself and can change his hours but chooses not too. He likes going in at 10 or 11 am which is why he stays later.) She interprets it as school hours. She feels since she has them on Tues that once she drops them off at school on Wed morn, it should be his responsibility to either pick them up from school or arrange for daycare. This was an ongoing issue until she finally set up after school day care for them on Weds which she pays for because he says it's not his expense. She is a nurse, works from 7pm-7am 3 nights a week. She arranges her schedule to work on Weds and the nights that he has them so on her nights she is home. Which is why she cant keep them on Weds.
Next issue, the kids are 13, 8, and 5. The 13 yr old girl is a handful. Was before the divorce and continues to be. She has always been daddy's little girl and now she is daddy's best friend, confidante, and counselor. He tells her everything and she uses it to hurt her mother. (By the way, they got divorced because he cheated.) He told the 13yr old what he did and that he begged mom for forgiveness but she is bitter, refuses to forgive him and that she is the reason they got divorced and she is the reason the family is split apart. He continually tells her that if it were up to him they would all be together and that he would go back home if he could. The 13 yr old tortures mom with this and lashes out at her. Mom in turn started going to family counseling with daughter and after a few sessions they were talking with each other more freely and both were happier. Daughter told the counselor that she wanted to continue meeting with her and mom. Once dad saw this shift in behavior he now forbids daughter to attend counseling. Told daughter she is not allowed to go period. When mom tried taking her the daughter refused to get in car and told her that dad forbids it, she will not defy him, and you can't make me. Dad even emailed mom telling her that daughter was no longer to go to counseling.
The latest issue- Mom's grandmother passed away 2 days ago. She is very upset to say the least. Wake is today and funeral tomorrow. She was going to fly out last night with her brothers to go up north for the wake. Since this is his weekend he should have them from Wed through Mon giving her plenty of time to go to funeral. Knowing that she was leaving for the airport he refused to pick the children up from the after school day care. Told her she would have to. So she did and took them back to her house. She packed bags for the children and they were ready waiting for him. He never came. She missed her flight. He called after 8pm saying he was home and demanded that she drop them off. (He lives 2 streets away) Crying she said she would not drop them off, "you made me miss my flight, they are ready for you when you are ready to pick them up". She tried to switch her flight for this morning, her brothers left without her last night. Dad never picked them up last night or today. She has missed the wake and has given up on going to the funeral. He left her a nasty message on her vm saying he was going to take her to court for refusing to drop them off and for keeping them from him. Personally I think he is absolute scum and treated her worse than you treat a stranger, not even the common courtesy of "I'm sorry for your loss" but I don't think he has any legal standing.
The main questions are:
Can she have visitation order modified to put in specific times (ex: 3pm or when school is out)?
Who is responsible for child care expenses when it's only needed on the days that one parent has them?
Can he forbid child from attending counseling?
Can he be ordered into family counseling with them? (they cannot talk to each other without it turning ugly)
She emails him schedule every Sunday because she does not want to fight with him. He refused to open email and has told her through kids that he will not read anything, will only communicate in person. How can this be stopped?
I know I'm not her but right now she needs all the help she can get. I'd like to help her make a list of things to try that might help guide her away from the chaos.
Your thoughts and advice are greatly appreciated.
Thank you.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
Last edited:
