My son's father and I have joint legal custody of our son, and a shared parenting agreement that was put into place in August of 2022 in Ohio.
In the agreement, it states that we share equal decision making in all areas, including education and medical. The agreement also states that the father is the residential parent for purposes of school enrollment, and I am the residential parent for any type of public benefits, and the recipient of child support (we do not have a current order, I declined to receive any support from him). This was put in the order because at the time, the school district he resided in was better than the one that I reside in.
In May of 2023, I relocated to the city in which the father resides in, where my son was attending school, as that seemed to be in my son's best interest, and a better location in general.
Our shared parenting plan also includes a visitation schedule that we follow, with me having my son Tuesday at 4 pm through Saturday at 4 pm, and his father having him Saturday at 4 pm through Tuesday at 4 pm. We have always followed this schedule, however we are usually good about it if we have to deviate for any reason, for example his father wanted to take him on vacation last summer, I had no issues letting him have him a few extra days.
This past March (03/24), his father informed me that he would be moving outside of the district in which my son is currently enrolled. I have no objections to his moving, and was happy for him and his family, but did communicate that I would like for my son to remain enrolled where he currently is, and to continue to attend school there for the foreseeable future. I still will be living in the district, with no plans to move, and I will more likely than not end up purchasing a house in this area once the market settles down. I also brought up the fact that our son resides with more for the majority of the school days, and it would make more sense as far as transportation. It would be less time per week for his father to transport him Monday to and from, and to on Tuesday than it would for me to transport him to a different district Tuesday through Friday.
My son has been attending his current school for the last two years (preschool and kindergarten) and will be entering first grade this fall. He does have both behavior issues, as well as developmental delays that present academically, so he does have an IEP in place in his current district allowing for him to receive certain services, such as speech therapy, occupational therapy, and a classroom aide. He is also in therapy currently, and has been diagnosed with ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder), and has high markers for ODD (oppositional defiance disorder) I had begun the process of getting him into therapy this past spring, when it was suggested by his teacher and the principal of his current school. I agreed, and I believe that it has been helping him make some progress. My son also made a lot of progress this past year in general, both academically, and behaviorally as far as listening better in class, following directions, and acting on impulse less.
I believe that transitioning my son unnecessarily could potentially negatively affect both his behavioral and academic progress. Historically, he has never done well with any type of transition, either big or small. He also has made friends these last two years, both with students and the faculty at the school, and I wouldn't want a change in school to affect his social abilities either.
I have communicated all of this information, and my perspectives to his father, and unfortunately he doesn't seem to take any of this information into consideration at all, or find any of it to be important enough to allow for him to stay where he currently is enrolled. On his end, he has never given me any type of reason for wanting him to switch other than saying that his current district has made budget cuts (upon doing my own research, I did find that in the last year the only budget cuts made were to pandemic funding, and effect the district only at an administrative level).
I tried several times to schedule a time with my child's father to talk about this issue, so that we could come to some kind of agreement, or so that I could understand his perspective better. Each time, something came up, or he would just outright decline to speak with me.
In May, I filed to change the residential status for the purpose of school enrollment from his father to myself, in an effort to keep him in his current school.
We had a pre-trial in June, and were assigned a guardian ad litum at that time. Neither of us had representation at that time either. The judge suggested at the hearing that we sit down, outside of court with our spouses, and try to see if we could come to some kind of an agreement. I reached out to my child's father, and expressed that I would like to follow the judges suggestion, and sit down and talk. I presented him with my availability over the next few weeks, and asked that if he was willing, to let me know when he would be available. Initially, he said he would speak with his wife, and get back to me, however I never heard anything about it from his again, and when I brought it up a second time, he completely ignored me.
Over the next month, the GAL conducted his investigation. He did home visits both at my home as well as my child's fathers home. In mid-July, I received the GALs investigational report and recommendation, which supported my request of changing the residential status to myself.
At our final hearing on July 30th, I expected the judge to make his final decision, and for us to be able to move on with our lives. However, my son's father requested a continuance. He stated several pieces of information on the GALs investigation that he did not agree with (both of which are factual pieces of information, so I was confused on that). The judge asked if I opposed the request, and I stated that yes, I did. I didn't find either complaint to be false, nor did I find either to be relevant to the issue at hand. I also stated that I would rather the matter be dealt with that day, as the first day of school is quickly approaching , and I wanted to be prepared in either situation for my son to return to school, or to start a new school. After a brief recess, we were called back, and the judge granted the continuance, much to my dismay. The new day was set for 08/23/24, which is five days after the first day of school in the current district, and two days after the start in the new district.
Following the hearing, my child's father informed me that he would be enrolling him in the new school immediately. I expressed to him that I did not think that would be in my child's best interest, and that we should let him start where he is currently enrolled, per the GALs recommendation. He decided, once again, with no reasoning or attempt at cooperation to go ahead and unenroll him from his current school, and begin the enrollment process at the new school.
I did attempt to reach out to the school district, through the board of education, and even spoke with the superintendent of the district. I explained the issue to her, and she was very understanding and nice about the situation, but unfortunately even without my consent, she cannot legally stop him from enrolling our son.
I have received a limited amount of legal advice, but cannot afford representation at this time. My child's father has, since the last hearing, retained an attorney. I have also reached out to the GAL regarding my concerns about the son being switched prior to any final decision being made. He stated he would reach out to his father's attorney, ask that they follow his recommendation, and that he start school where he was last year until a final decision is made on 08/23/24. He said that he will be able to do this on Monday, however I do understand that his father still doesn't necessarily have to listen or follow that request.
I am just wondering if anyone has any experience with any like this, what was the outcome, or just any type of advice. This whole situation just seems so logical and simple to me personally, I just cannot wrap my mind around why his father is being so difficult. So any kind of advice helps.
In the agreement, it states that we share equal decision making in all areas, including education and medical. The agreement also states that the father is the residential parent for purposes of school enrollment, and I am the residential parent for any type of public benefits, and the recipient of child support (we do not have a current order, I declined to receive any support from him). This was put in the order because at the time, the school district he resided in was better than the one that I reside in.
In May of 2023, I relocated to the city in which the father resides in, where my son was attending school, as that seemed to be in my son's best interest, and a better location in general.
Our shared parenting plan also includes a visitation schedule that we follow, with me having my son Tuesday at 4 pm through Saturday at 4 pm, and his father having him Saturday at 4 pm through Tuesday at 4 pm. We have always followed this schedule, however we are usually good about it if we have to deviate for any reason, for example his father wanted to take him on vacation last summer, I had no issues letting him have him a few extra days.
This past March (03/24), his father informed me that he would be moving outside of the district in which my son is currently enrolled. I have no objections to his moving, and was happy for him and his family, but did communicate that I would like for my son to remain enrolled where he currently is, and to continue to attend school there for the foreseeable future. I still will be living in the district, with no plans to move, and I will more likely than not end up purchasing a house in this area once the market settles down. I also brought up the fact that our son resides with more for the majority of the school days, and it would make more sense as far as transportation. It would be less time per week for his father to transport him Monday to and from, and to on Tuesday than it would for me to transport him to a different district Tuesday through Friday.
My son has been attending his current school for the last two years (preschool and kindergarten) and will be entering first grade this fall. He does have both behavior issues, as well as developmental delays that present academically, so he does have an IEP in place in his current district allowing for him to receive certain services, such as speech therapy, occupational therapy, and a classroom aide. He is also in therapy currently, and has been diagnosed with ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder), and has high markers for ODD (oppositional defiance disorder) I had begun the process of getting him into therapy this past spring, when it was suggested by his teacher and the principal of his current school. I agreed, and I believe that it has been helping him make some progress. My son also made a lot of progress this past year in general, both academically, and behaviorally as far as listening better in class, following directions, and acting on impulse less.
I believe that transitioning my son unnecessarily could potentially negatively affect both his behavioral and academic progress. Historically, he has never done well with any type of transition, either big or small. He also has made friends these last two years, both with students and the faculty at the school, and I wouldn't want a change in school to affect his social abilities either.
I have communicated all of this information, and my perspectives to his father, and unfortunately he doesn't seem to take any of this information into consideration at all, or find any of it to be important enough to allow for him to stay where he currently is enrolled. On his end, he has never given me any type of reason for wanting him to switch other than saying that his current district has made budget cuts (upon doing my own research, I did find that in the last year the only budget cuts made were to pandemic funding, and effect the district only at an administrative level).
I tried several times to schedule a time with my child's father to talk about this issue, so that we could come to some kind of agreement, or so that I could understand his perspective better. Each time, something came up, or he would just outright decline to speak with me.
In May, I filed to change the residential status for the purpose of school enrollment from his father to myself, in an effort to keep him in his current school.
We had a pre-trial in June, and were assigned a guardian ad litum at that time. Neither of us had representation at that time either. The judge suggested at the hearing that we sit down, outside of court with our spouses, and try to see if we could come to some kind of an agreement. I reached out to my child's father, and expressed that I would like to follow the judges suggestion, and sit down and talk. I presented him with my availability over the next few weeks, and asked that if he was willing, to let me know when he would be available. Initially, he said he would speak with his wife, and get back to me, however I never heard anything about it from his again, and when I brought it up a second time, he completely ignored me.
Over the next month, the GAL conducted his investigation. He did home visits both at my home as well as my child's fathers home. In mid-July, I received the GALs investigational report and recommendation, which supported my request of changing the residential status to myself.
At our final hearing on July 30th, I expected the judge to make his final decision, and for us to be able to move on with our lives. However, my son's father requested a continuance. He stated several pieces of information on the GALs investigation that he did not agree with (both of which are factual pieces of information, so I was confused on that). The judge asked if I opposed the request, and I stated that yes, I did. I didn't find either complaint to be false, nor did I find either to be relevant to the issue at hand. I also stated that I would rather the matter be dealt with that day, as the first day of school is quickly approaching , and I wanted to be prepared in either situation for my son to return to school, or to start a new school. After a brief recess, we were called back, and the judge granted the continuance, much to my dismay. The new day was set for 08/23/24, which is five days after the first day of school in the current district, and two days after the start in the new district.
Following the hearing, my child's father informed me that he would be enrolling him in the new school immediately. I expressed to him that I did not think that would be in my child's best interest, and that we should let him start where he is currently enrolled, per the GALs recommendation. He decided, once again, with no reasoning or attempt at cooperation to go ahead and unenroll him from his current school, and begin the enrollment process at the new school.
I did attempt to reach out to the school district, through the board of education, and even spoke with the superintendent of the district. I explained the issue to her, and she was very understanding and nice about the situation, but unfortunately even without my consent, she cannot legally stop him from enrolling our son.
I have received a limited amount of legal advice, but cannot afford representation at this time. My child's father has, since the last hearing, retained an attorney. I have also reached out to the GAL regarding my concerns about the son being switched prior to any final decision being made. He stated he would reach out to his father's attorney, ask that they follow his recommendation, and that he start school where he was last year until a final decision is made on 08/23/24. He said that he will be able to do this on Monday, however I do understand that his father still doesn't necessarily have to listen or follow that request.
I am just wondering if anyone has any experience with any like this, what was the outcome, or just any type of advice. This whole situation just seems so logical and simple to me personally, I just cannot wrap my mind around why his father is being so difficult. So any kind of advice helps.
