She is STILL calling!

[sbaldwin]

What is the name of your state? TX
We took the advice of some of you, and wrote my husband's ex a letter stating that we would no longer accept or return any calls from her unless it was an emergancy concerning the child. We told her all correspondence should either be sent with the child, or through the mail. Tonight she called and left a message that said "I just wanted to call and let you know that we will be there to drop XXXXXXX off at 8:00 on Saturday, thanks alot." We had already sent her a letter that we wanted to pick him up at 6 to start our summer visitation. With no response from her, we thought all was fine. Now 2 days before we are to pick him up...she does this! We will be at her house at 6, and if they aren't there, or wont let him leave with us, you can bet we wont be home at 8...we already have plans!! I am so tired of this woman thinking she can control EVERYTHING! We will be going to an attorney in June, and I hope this all gets taken care of!

 

[VeronicaGia]

Sounds like you're doing the right thing. If the kids aren't there at 6:00 when you go to pick them up, just don't be home at 8:00. However, you will miss your visitation......

 

[vmalcom]

i understand your concerns but dont let her actions spoil your childs visit which iam sure he is looking forward to save all your
complaints for your attorney and try to get something done that way.

 

[smh33]

Ditto...if you are not home and you go to court...you will be showing that you were not inconvienced but that you felt o.k. with leaving your child out. You need to be there at 8 and in court explain how this affected your plans negatively. 2 wrongs don't make a right and if you are not there at 8, it kinda looks like your not acting any better than the ex....it looks like getting back at the ex is more important than accessing the child. Don't do anymore agreements on the phone...it is a pain but do all in writing...even if done 1st by phone...follow asap w/ a letter to ex saying you are confirming per phone convo_ _ _,etc....this way if happens again you can show judge the physical evidence . Right now ex will probably say...you never asked to get child at 6???Always send certified so you have proof ex did receive.....also...be there at 8...you don't want ex implying to child...well guess they didn't want you to go,etc....

 

[Awesomemom]

Just go to court.

 

[sbaldwin]

Here is my problem with the situation...
We DID send her a letter stating that we would pick the child up at 6, and she DID receive it. She is simply mad about us telling her we would no longer accept her phone calls, so this is her way of retaliating...call anyway, and change the pick up time to her convenience! We are SICK of it! My stepson knows we were supposed to pick him up at 6, because we told him we would be there at that time to get him. We are trying to get ready for a vacation that we are leaving for Sunday, and my ss knows we have things to do that night to get ready. He will be upset at HER, not US, because he has been waiting for this trip to Cancun for several months now! This woman is nothing but a control freak, and you can bet we will have our video camera running when we go to pick him up, and if we ARE here at 8, it will be going then also! Thanks you all!

 

[CMSC]

sbaldwin, here's a question I am sure you probably have already answered but i am tired and don't want to go all the way back through your posts....sorry. Does it say in your visitation agreement who picks up the child or drops off for visitation? If not it may be something you want to consider modifying and putting in there if it is causing a problem. Have it right in order what time child is picked up/dropped off and by whom.

Just a suggestion.

 

[FoggyDew]

Just a quick question, does your decree state what time she is supposed to have him available for you? Standard visitation in TX is 6pm Friday to 6pm Sunday (or Monday if it is a holiday weekend) so I am curious if she is violating your decreed visitation schedule anyway? Sorry if you already talked about this and I missed it...

 

[sbaldwin]

Actually FoggyDew, our copy of the standard visitation states that we get the child at the time his school is dismissed on Friday, and until it resumes on Monday. (Unless there are holidays.) We also get him every Wed. after school until school starts the next morning.
Our problem is that it doesn't state any specific times for summer. (He's already out for summer) We have always gotten him at the same time we would if he was in school, and let HER choose when she wants us to bring him home. Since this is the start of our summer visit, we chose 6 so that she could have a little extra time with him since she always complains about this! 8 is just way too late!
The papers state that my husband is to pick him up and drop him off for his visitation time, and she is to come get him and drop him off for the one weekend she chooses during our summer visitation. We have let her drop him off before if she wanted to, and it would not be a problem this time either, except for the time thing.
Thank you all for your replies so far, it helps to read the advice of others!

 

[FoggyDew]

I don't know if this helps or not, but I have the same afterschool arrangement with my NCP and because we had a malfunction one year, my attorney advised me that for summer visitation, unless otherwise stated, it defaults to the 6pm standard time. You may want to try a free consultation with an attorney to verify, but it has worked for us unless I make an exception to let the NCP pick up our some earlier in the day. Good luck and have fun in Cancun!

 

[smh33]

Similar problem...when I went to court my judge ruled if during school pick up was at school dismissal then during summer it would only be logical that pick up would still be the school dismiss time unless we agreed otherwise.....I did have added though that during none school periods...visitation would be 8am Fri to 5pm Mon.

 

[movenon]

Don't get to worked up!

I hope things work out for you guys, it is so frustrating. I have a situation where my ex will not speak to me at all ( he sent me an e-mail saying I make him sick). He uses our children as messengers and to deliver child support. Please re-think having your ex deliver correspondence through your child. It really puts them in an awful situation and they go through enough already!
We can only pray that some day they (ex) will grow-up, move-on and stop making our lives stressful. Try not to stress out too much and be thankful you don't have to live with this person!

 

[efcoco]

for child sake

I so understand your frustrations...and am glad your going to court..I guess for contempt??
I too have gone through my ex's games...and I ...against all of my friends advise....could not...take it out on my son.
I would be the one to wait..pick up...cancel my plans when he could not exercise his visitation...no matter how mad I got...I could not let it interfere with my sons mental or physical being..My son knew already what was happening...i couldnt add to the hurt....instead I took care of what I needed to ............which was my son. If my son was to be excluded from a trip that he was looking forward to...I could not find it in my heart to exclude him..no matter who's fault it was...It is not theirs.

Go to ct.....but meanwhile.....If the only person it is for you to look after....It would be your childs................GOOD LUCK.