She moved!!!

[Jvance43]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? Missouri
X wife and I have 50/50 joint physical and legal custody of our 3 daughters. I have them 1 week and she has them 1 week
I recieved a letter from X-Wife on 15 September, 2004. In it she states that she will be moving with "her" children on 15 November, 2004 to (Address inserted) She gave as a reason: "best interest of my children and their safety" "She then tells me that she wants to move because she wants to move on with her life"
I called her and asked what the safety issue was. She said she wanted to move herself and the children out of the cess pool where they now live. The cess pool was because at the divorce hearing on 26 May, 2004 an officer who had come to her home was asked about her home condition and waht he thought about the area. His reply was "the area was a cess pool for crime" This cess pool is because of her and her live in boyfriend.
I went to see my attorney and he filed a motion to prevent the move and a motion to modify the divorce decree. It was filed on 12 October, 2004. This is 3 days before my deadline to file. The papers haven't been served yet, because as of 8 October, 2004, she nor the children have been staying at the home, but have been staying at the address she listed in the letter on 15 Sept, 2004. I have not lived in the home for 2 1/2 years and had told X she needed to have the water bill put in her name 2 different times since the divorce in May. She never did, so I called the water company and told them to take the water out of my name. They said the would and that she would then have to come in and get it turned on in her name. She did not get the water turned on in her name, and started staying at the new address.
The kids ages 4, 7 and 8 tell me they are sleeping in the floor in the bedroom where the mom and live in boyfriend sleep. The oldest daughter tells me that one night the 4 year old little sister woke afraid and she, the 8 yr old went to look for mom to tell her that the little one was crying. When she got to the living room where mom was, mom and the owner of the place were on the couch and he was pulling at moms undies. I asked if mom was asleep, and the daughter said "no". My daughter turned around and went back to her pallet on the floor and took care of her little sister until she fell back asleep. She was really upset when she told me about it.
Today, 21 Oct, 2004 she has moved all the furniture out of the house. This is before the 60 days that Missouri law states in their laws. Now what happens? Also, what happens if they can't serve her within the 60 days of my getting the letter from her? There are no children anywhere near where the kids have been moved to. They had several children on the same block where they used to live that they have played with for several years. They have moved to a different school district, but the mom intends to keep sending them to the same school. What happens to me when the school finds out and they send a bill for tuition for the 2 older girls?
Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

 

[Hisbabygirl77]

How far away did she move? From the sound of your post not very far. If it is less than I believe 50 miles there really isnt much you can do about it.

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

How far away did she move? From the sound of your post not very far. If it is less than I believe 50 miles there really isnt much you can do about it.

My response:

That response is all very fine and well, but what about our writers REAL concern? The water bill!

IAAL

 

[casa]

This situation sounds very very unstable! Has anyone contacted children's services about the living conditions?? You said you lived there yourself 2 years ago- was it a "cess pool for crime" then? If so- why didn't you both attempt to find a more suitable living environment? You say you turned the water off- did you do that knowing there would be no water for your own 3 children or did you give ample notice to the mother? If you gave no notice that could be one reason for the hostile tone in her letter to you.
I'm not certain either of you have behaved admirably in all of this.

If you have joint legal and joint physical custody you should have a say about if the children move- If you think the move is beneficial for the children, try helping out. If you think the move is too far a distance or is outside the original custody agreement- file in court to prevent it. It sounds like you don't like where they are living anyway though, so it's confusing why you would prevent the move?

WHY are your children sleeping on crates? Beds are not that expensive, come on! I'm not trying to bash you- but seriously, get those children some beds! If you have joint legal and physical then you are BOTH responsible for their living conditions!
How long have you known of these conditions and did nothing?

Is there more to this story? You say you have an attorney and it's certainly perplexing why you can afford an attorney yet your children (whom you have joint custody of) have no beds or rooms

 

[Hisbabygirl77]

Ok it's been a long day and all and I know I am tired and have a huge headache so my brain is all only half working right now but to me how he went on and on about the move the issue of concern he had was the move. Unless of course Iaal you were being sarcastic about the water bill. Oy who knows I will take some aspirin get some sleep and in the morning maybe I will have better luck lol When I have a clear mind I am not match to argue with Iaal better not even attempt to tonight

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? Missouri
X wife and I have 50/50 joint physical and legal custody of our 3 daughters. I have them 1 week and she has them 1 week
I recieved a letter from X-Wife on 15 September, 2004. In it she states that she will be moving with "her" children on 15 November, 2004 to (Address inserted) She gave as a reason: "best interest of my children and their safety" "She then tells me that she wants to move because she wants to move on with her life"
I called her and asked what the safety issue was. She said she wanted to move herself and the children out of the cess pool where they now live. The cess pool was because at the divorce hearing on 26 May, 2004 an officer who had come to her home was asked about her home condition and waht he thought about the area. His reply was "the area was a cess pool for crime" This cess pool is because of her and her live in boyfriend.
I went to see my attorney and he filed a motion to prevent the move and a motion to modify the divorce decree. It was filed on 12 October, 2004. This is 3 days before my deadline to file. The papers haven't been served yet, because as of 8 October, 2004, she nor the children have been staying at the home, but have been staying at the address she listed in the letter on 15 Sept, 2004. I have not lived in the home for 2 1/2 years and had told X she needed to have the water bill put in her name 2 different times since the divorce in May. She never did, so I called the water company and told them to take the water out of my name. They said the would and that she would then have to come in and get it turned on in her name. She did not get the water turned on in her name, and started staying at the new address.
The kids ages 4, 7 and 8 tell me they are sleeping in the floor in the bedroom where the mom and live in boyfriend sleep. The oldest daughter tells me that one night the 4 year old little sister woke afraid and she, the 8 yr old went to look for mom to tell her that the little one was crying. When she got to the living room where mom was, mom and the owner of the place were on the couch and he was pulling at moms undies. I asked if mom was asleep, and the daughter said "no". My daughter turned around and went back to her pallet on the floor and took care of her little sister until she fell back asleep. She was really upset when she told me about it.
Today, 21 Oct, 2004 she has moved all the furniture out of the house. This is before the 60 days that Missouri law states in their laws. Now what happens? Also, what happens if they can't serve her within the 60 days of my getting the letter from her? There are no children anywhere near where the kids have been moved to. They had several children on the same block where they used to live that they have played with for several years. They have moved to a different school district, but the mom intends to keep sending them to the same school. What happens to me when the school finds out and they send a bill for tuition for the 2 older girls?
Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

If mom's new place is close enough that the children can still attend their same school, then its probably not far enough away for you to successfully protest the move. If the children's school is in the same district that YOU live in its perfectly legal for them to go there.

It was more than a little tacky for you to turn off the water to the house where your children reside.

Since she moved the furniture out of the house on the 21st, obviously the children will have their beds now.

 

[stealth2]

If she's moving to a place that's close enough for them to still attend the same school, it's unlikely that a judge will block her move. Also, since you do have 50/50 custody, it's entirely possible that the school district will consider them in-district due to your residence. If, however, they do decide to charge out-of-district tuition, you COULD file with the court to have her held responsible for the tuition due to her move.

And a judge is unlikely to be amused by your stunt with the water.

 

[Jvance43]

She moved

I tried not to make my post so long. I guess that was a mistake.
Now the water bill: I had told her 2 times since the divorce on 26 May, 2004 that she needed to get it on in her name. She didn't do it and there is a 2 month bill that I am responsible for. She had no intention on paying. The water company said all she had to do was come in and give her name and she would have water in her name without interuption of the water service. She didn't go in after they left a note on the door. 4 days later they turned it off.
Now the kids beds: The kids have beds. The mom just didn't take any of the furniture until last night. The kids have had all their clothes at the new place since the 8th but no beds.
Now the Cess Pool: The police officer that testified at the divorce hearing used the words Cess Pool. While we were still a family and lived in the house together, it was a nice neighborhood. There were children living there that would be at our house all the time. You never saw a police car anywhere around, and if you did see one they would stop and talk to the adults and kids. After X started messing around with seven different guys and doing drugs, I filed for divorce and left the home. About six months later she moved in the boyfriend who has 11 DWI/DUI's a burgulary conviction where he was sentenced to 2 years, multiple assult charges against humans and property and drug charges is when it became a cess pool. Thats when the police were coming around. There was 1 time where he had gotten a gun and took it to show a friend (the guy that owns the place where she has moved to) and shot his friends finger off with a gun he thought was not loaded, so he says. The same bullet bounced off something and hit him in the ribs. Before he left to go show this same gun to his friend, he was showing it to our girls and was waving it around and scaring the oldest girl to where she jumped on the couch and covered her head so she would not get hurt. Now tell me about how you think this cess pool originated.
Now the distance of her move: She has moved 16 miles from where she moved from. This move is in a different school district. It is not a far away move, but the kids have always made straight A's in school here. The kids don't want to loose thier friends at school. The oldest girl doesn't make friends very easy, and really only associates with her cousin at recess as it is. She won't even have her cousin at a different school.
I have helped the X on several occassions with extra money to help on her and the kids living expenses, like rent, electrict, water and food. I have no problem with that at all.
I filed for the divorce because it is what she wanted. She had been messing around with 7 different guys during the marriage. I told her I could forgive this (stupid me, I still loved her), but she wanted no part of the marriage anymore. I filed because I wanted 50/50 custody of our kids. I don't want to take the kids away from her, she loves them too. And the kids love their mom and me. On the day of the divorce, the judge heard my whole side after 7 hrs. The court took a break, and as we were returning to the court room to start her side, my attorney stoped me and said she wanted to try and settle with me for 50/50. I agreed to it and it was over. Her attorney came to me and shook my hand and thanked me for accepting his clients offer, stating to me that his client didn't have a case to win custody of the kids. I feel I have bent over backwards here. After all it is what I wanted, 50/50.
Missouri law states that if one of the parents wants to move the children, that person has to notify the other parent and give certain information, as to where, when etc this move will take place. That parent has to give 60 days notice. I have 30 days to file opposition of the move, which I have done. She is not to move until after the 60 day time limit and since I did file oposition there should be a hearing. What I need the court to do is amke my address the one for school and doctors, as that is now listed on the divorce papers, so they can go to school where they are now. Thats all I want, and it is stated in the filing, "no change in custody".
She moved before the 60 days was up. There was no deposit involved in her having the water turned on in her name. All she had to do was go and give them her name so they could start billing it in her name. I have paid the balance she left me with, and have no problem with that. She says she wants to move on with her life. I have done that. I will always have feelings for her as the mother of our 3 children and will help when I can. I don't love her anymore, but I do respect the fact that she and I have given life to 3 of the most precious children in the world. She didn't do it alone, nor did I do it alone. I just want the law to be the law for both parents. Seems to me it was an uphill battle from the start just to get the 50/50 custody. I got it. I love these kids more than life itself. I am not trying to take them away from her, I just want what my rights are.
I am sorry if I offend someone here, because you have helped me in the past a lot. And I will be eternally grateful for that.

 

[stealth2]

What I need the court to do is amke my address the one for school and doctors, as that is now listed on the divorce papers, so they can go to school where they are now. Thats all I want, and it is stated in the filing, "no change in custody".

So that's all this is about? Then wtf does any of the rest have to do with ANYTHING? You could've pared all that out and gotten a simple answer - your request makes sense and you'll likely get it. Sheesh.