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Should father seek custody

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sds

Guest
State: Florida

My ex-wife currently has full custody of our 11 year old daughter. We have been divorced for 9 years and I have been remarried for 4. I am very concerned about my daughter's well being. My ex has started leaving my daughter at home for several hours without adult supervision. Each day after school my daughter rides the bus to my house and then we take her home because my ex says she will not drive "all the way" to my house - we live 3 miles away. My daughter's grades have dropped significantly this year. My ex shows no concern about my daughter's grades. The guidance counselor at the school told me I should seek custody of my daughter because she needs structure and stability that she is not getting with her mother. She said that if someone doesn't get control of my daughter now, no one will be able to. The school had contacted my ex at one point about my daughter's tardiness and absences to no avail. My ex was the reason she was late and would let her miss school all day for nothing. Her husband does not involve himself at all with my daughter and gives my ex a lot of problems when she does things for our daughter. So she chooses him over our daughter. She will not come to our daughter's activities, school programs, etc. because he doesn't want to go. She doesn't want to give me custody of my daughter because she doesn't want to lose the child support, but she doesn't want the responsibility of my daughter either. My wife and I have picked up the slack for my daughter as a result. However, it is an emotional and financial strain on our family to deal with this seeming neglect. My wife is very good to my daughter and would like to see her live with us permanently. So would I, but I don't want to make my daughter come live with me. I would rather wait to let her choose to live with me. The guidance counselor said that she is afraid if I wait, I will not ever get custody of my daughter because she will be old enough to make her own choice and will naturally choose to live with her mother because there are no rules/consequences at her mother's house. I don't want to put my daughter through this fight for nothing, but I also don't want to see her get in more trouble with drugs, pregnancy, etc. due to her mom's inattention. Please help.
 


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daniel123456

Guest
concern for my daughter

oh,that is a difficult choice to make,when a parent dont want to invade on their childs wishs to be,ask yourself,if your child was doing drugs,would you not ascert your rights of being the adult,and discuss,the issues?if your child was climbing in a drier,or washing machine for example,you would firmly tell the child not to do it,there is no difference between what the federal,and state governments have done by their various acts,in regards to the compelling governmental intrest,that being the best intrest of the child.so for this choice it is simple,your a concernd father,of which whom seems to have a sweet wife,who can see children,as needfull,despite whether she is her child,or not.and neither of you want to see your child deprived of the proper bonds of family,which includes,crises,that may not seem to of any great importance,but to a youth,it may be of their world.their concerns may be the only hope of survival,as you may be the only hope for her survival also.children are reseiliant,they adapt very well,but only in a social invironment,if they are cut off from their hopes,or their outlooks,or communications that are deffinantly needed,then they will become abstracted,and go head first into a totall non-conformity,then teaching themselves,by having no order in their life,by that abstance of authority,will leave them with thier own minds brainwashing.and that disturbance in their personality,will be nearly impossible to diassociate it from themselves.i choose to attempt to gain custody,talk,and build a strong,and loving relationship with my daughter,while always listening,but exercise the concern,not overbearing,parental concern.she will then gradually change her veiws,and will,as i suspect except.good-luck,friends
 
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Chriscar44

Guest
Yes. Its simple as that. If your daughters grades dropped and your ex doesnt show that she cares then you should have your daughter.
 
A

aleycat

Guest
Should Father Seek Custody

If you REALLY feel it is detrimental to your daughter to continue living with her mother, then go for it. This is your CHILD. You can not take chances. As her father, it is your job to keep her safe and healthy, both phisically and emotionally. Her values are your responsibility. Her self image is your responsibility. SHE is your responsibility. In 10 years, will you be able to look yourself in the mirror, if you don't act now, and your daughter ends up less than she could be??? She depends on you to love her, protect her,teach her, and keep her safe.

However....what you think doesn't matter in a court of law. Begin DOCUMENTING, and begin NOW. Document EVERYTHING that takes place. You must have a leg to stand on, and right now, you don't. Write down dates, times, conversations, situations, and verify all school difficulties. You need this to enter a case. My heart goes out to you, but yours is certainly in the right place. Dads make super parents too! : ) I wish you the best. : )
 

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