Should I get "confirmation"?

[ProSeDadinMD]

What is the name of your state? MD

Ok, so I'm on my way this evening to pick up Little Miss Pro Se, and I get a call from The Ex. Seems she has a family emergency(no clue what, and she didn't tell LMPS either), and needs me to "take" LMPS for the coming week(through 11/23 at least). Hey, I'm all for that(with the minor inconvenience of the 2.5 hour commute I'll be having Moday and Tuesday. No school Wednesday, thank goodness...notm, but you gotta do what you gotta do). We're just switching the Thanksgiving schedule, in that I'll have Wed-Friday at 7pm, instead of Friday/7pm till Sunday/7pm(presuming she gets back by Friday/7pm, as she stated that she may not, and if not, will get LMPS ASAP afterwards.

Anyway, I asked The Ex to just shoot me an email stating the situation, and I'd respond in agreement, just to keep everybody on the same page. Her first reaction was "Why do we need to do that?"... mmmm, lemme see. She said she'd be too busy to email, but would call my VM and leave the above as a message there. Ok, fine.

This was 4 hours ago and nothing yet. I'm going to send her an email about the situation saying that she can simply agree if it's correct(she has a blackberry she'll no doubt be carrying with her, and also said she'd have email access on Moday).

I feel compelled to do this because of our history of "mis-communication".

My potential problem is two-fold:
1. She may just ignore my email.
2. She may want me to bring LMPS to her ex-husbands family to care for while she's gone.

I'm ok with #1, but not with #2. Any thoughts on how to handle this?What is the name of your state?

 

[CourtClerk]

Can you word it in a way that makes her...ummm... I don't know.

Like... hey Mommy ProSe just making sure you still want me to pick up LMPS from ___ on X day. I'll bring her back on Xday. My first inkling of thought is that if she doesn't dispute it, then she obviously doesn't have a problem with it because one who disputes and wants to act an ass immediately fires back an email that says... oh no you don't!!!

Or maybe send the email stating that per the conversation Daddy ProSe will be picking up LMPS (per your request) on X-date and returning her on X-date and if it's an issue or you've made subsequent plans, please respond.

Side note: it's a shame you actually have to go through all this.

As for option #2 (leaving her with someone else), is there ROFR?

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

LMPS is already with me. This is my weekend anyway.

No ROFR(because I didn't think we'd need it, and apparently neither did the master)

CC, you're right, it's sad I have to think like this. But I wouldn't put it past her to have something in mind to say that I am keeping LMPS from her.

I know that she talked to the daycare(about L'il Sis, and also to speak to LMPS), so maybe I'm covered.

**** trust issues

 

[profmum]

I think whenever there is a switch like this and if you and the x are less than friendly an email confirmation is the way to go.
Hey Mum, per our call today at x, to confirm.. we will be switching days to.....
and I will be picking up LMPS at x and returning at x. Once you confirm via email, we are all set for this change. Toodles!!

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

Ok, still no call. I've drafted an email to send, but haven't as yet.

Title: 11/19-11/23/07

(The Ex),

This is just to touch base with you in an effort to confirm our conversation of 11/16/2007. This is my understanding of what's happening. Simply indicate in your reply whether you agree or disagree with it.

Per our conversation, you have a family emergency to tend to during this time period. (LMPS) will be with me from 11/16/2007 thru 11/23/2007. If you are able to return by then, you will get (LMPS) at 7pm on Friday, 11/23/2007. If you are not back by then, you will get (LMPS)as soon as possible upon your return.

Due to this unexpected emergency, you and I have agreed to reverse the Thanksgiving visitation schedule to allow us both to spend the time listed in our current custody/visitation schedule.

(ProSe DadinMD)

I'm supposed to have LMPS till Monday morning drop off at daycare. Then, I already have to go back there Monday for the Parent/Teacher conference(which I agreed to do with her, and I still haven't heard from her when it is. Luckily, I keep in contact with LMPS's teacher), so I will be there to pick her up.

 

[Bloopy]

Title: 11/19-11/23/07

(The Ex),

This is just to touch base with you in an effort to confirm our conversation of 11/16/2007. This is my understanding of what's happening. Simply indicate in your reply whether you agree or disagree with it.

Per our conversation, you have a family emergency to tend to during this time period. (LMPS) will be with me from 11/16/2007 thru 11/23/2007. If you are able to return by then, you will get (LMPS) at 7pm on Friday, 11/23/2007. If you are not back by then, you will get (LMPS)as soon as possible upon your return.

Due to this unexpected emergency, you and I have agreed to reverse the Thanksgiving visitation schedule to allow us both to spend the time listed in our current custody/visitation schedule.

Please confirm via email or text message.

(ProSe DadinMD)



I don’t like the bolded part. It makes it sound like you regularly misunderstand things and rely on her to set you straight.

End with your request simply.

Enjoy the hoops

 

[casa]

What is the name of your state? MD

Ok, so I'm on my way this evening to pick up Little Miss Pro Se, and I get a call from The Ex. Seems she has a family emergency(no clue what, and she didn't tell LMPS either), and needs me to "take" LMPS for the coming week(through 11/23 at least). Hey, I'm all for that(with the minor inconvenience of the 2.5 hour commute I'll be having Moday and Tuesday. No school Wednesday, thank goodness...notm, but you gotta do what you gotta do). We're just switching the Thanksgiving schedule, in that I'll have Wed-Friday at 7pm, instead of Friday/7pm till Sunday/7pm(presuming she gets back by Friday/7pm, as she stated that she may not, and if not, will get LMPS ASAP afterwards.

Anyway, I asked The Ex to just shoot me an email stating the situation, and I'd respond in agreement, just to keep everybody on the same page. Her first reaction was "Why do we need to do that?"... mmmm, lemme see. She said she'd be too busy to email, but would call my VM and leave the above as a message there. Ok, fine.

This was 4 hours ago and nothing yet. I'm going to send her an email about the situation saying that she can simply agree if it's correct(she has a blackberry she'll no doubt be carrying with her, and also said she'd have email access on Moday).

I feel compelled to do this because of our history of "mis-communication".

My potential problem is two-fold:
1. She may just ignore my email.
2. She may want me to bring LMPS to her ex-husbands family to care for while she's gone.

I'm ok with #1, but not with #2. Any thoughts on how to handle this?What is the name of your state?

Yes, like this: "Dear X, I'm just writing to confirm that I'm having LMPS until X day at X time. Would you like me to return her to Y residence or Z residence?

I hope your family is alright.

Sincerely,

PSDad

 

[casa]

Ok, still no call. I've drafted an email to send, but haven't as yet.



I'm supposed to have LMPS till Monday morning drop off at daycare. Then, I already have to go back there Monday for the Parent/Teacher conference(which I agreed to do with her, and I still haven't heard from her when it is. Luckily, I keep in contact with LMPS's teacher), so I will be there to pick her up.

You've known my responses for awhile...I tell you to be hard when it's warranted, but now isn't the time.

Don't be so 'lawyerly' Don't engage her paranoia while she's already <obviously> stressed. Remember this just demonstrates a history of her trusting & relying on YOU when there is an Emergency which involves LMPS.

 

[CourtClerk]

Yes, like this: "Dear X, I'm just writing to confirm that I'm having LMPS until X day at X time. Would you like me to return her to Y residence or Z residence?

I hope your family is alright.

Sincerely,

PSDad

I like this....like it a lot.

 

[Bloopy]

Yes, like this: "Dear X, I'm just writing to confirm that I'm having LMPS until X day at X time. Would you like me to return her to Y residence or Z residence?

I hope your family is alright.

Sincerely,

PSDad

Simple. Considerate. Awesome.

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

Hows this?

(The Ex),
I'm just writing to confirm that I'm having (LMPS) untill 11/23/07 at 7pm. If you can't get back by then, just let me know.

I hope your family is alright.

(ProSe DadinMD)

I'm gonna leave out the "Dear" and the "Sincerely", mostly because I think that it'll come off a little condescending to her since our recent communications have not been the best.

BTW, Thanks casa...