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Should I request a modification or wait until I move again?

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Rkm5310

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? Pennsylvania

I have 2 children from a 7yr relationship with a woman (a 15 year old son and an 11yr old daughter) ....we were never married and have been separated for over 8 years now. I went through a rough period of not having a job after she and I broke up and I was homeless for 1year...I would not always have money to buy things for birthdays and holidays....but I always had my kids on the weekends. For the last 6 years I have been on child support and it comes out of my check automatically....I would see my children every weekend and for extended lengths during holidays and summer breaks. There haven't been any modifications to the amount of child support since it was 1st set up. I always told the mother once I got on my feet I would take them both...2 years ago I moved my daughter in with me....registered her for school in my neighborhood( the mom told me not to put her under my insurance as it would interfere with her benefits she received from the state at that time)the mom works currently part time and I still see my son on the weekends as well as extended breaks.. Holidays etc... I'm currently saving to buy my 1st House as my lease is up at the end of November. My current fiancée tells me I should try to get the child support order terminated as I see my son every weekend and during the summer I keep him for weeks at a time...as well as during winter breaks I keep him for weeks at a time . I still buy the majority of his clothing even bought him an iPhone. She also states things may weigh in my favor as my daughter has been living with my for the last couple years and her mother doesn't Assist in any way financially with her . But I'm hesitant to go to family Court as there were no modifications to the original order for child support and I'm worried that I'll be somehow be liable retroactively for any pay increase that I received... I'm assuming I'm supposed to report any pay rate increase... Since we never went to court to get any order modifications and my daughter lives with me, I just told her she could keep the child support that was given for both kids even though she only has my son. I'm wondering if I should just leave it alone as far as trying to get the child support order terminated, I don't believe I have a case and I should wait until November when I move and officially have them both to pursue having the order officially terminated... Just wanted another person's perspective as I'm not familiar with the legalities involved in this sort of situation.
 


Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
First: You're not going to be liable for anything retroactively.
Second: You gifted mom the extra money.
Third: The order won't be terminated for your son, however, mom may well have to pay for daughter.
Fourth: Why have you willingly participated in welfare fraud?
Fifth: Tell your GF that, while you appreciate her support, she really ought to step back a bit and let you work this out.
 

Rkm5310

Junior Member
First: You're not going to be liable for anything retroactively.
Second: You gifted mom the extra money.
Third: The order won't be terminated for your son, however, mom may well have to pay for daughter.
Fourth: Why have you willingly participated in welfare fraud?
Fifth: Tell your GF that, while you appreciate her support, she really ought to step back a bit and let you work this out.
I didn't know that was considered welfare fraud and also I felt guilty for the times I was unable to provide financially for the children.
 

not2cleverRed

Obvious Observer
First: You're not going to be liable for anything retroactively.
Second: You gifted mom the extra money.
Third: The order won't be terminated for your son, however, mom may well have to pay for daughter.
Fourth: Why have you willingly participated in welfare fraud?
Fifth: Tell your GF that, while you appreciate her support, she really ought to step back a bit and let you work this out.
Sixth: Run everything through a cs calculator first to make sure you don't shoot yourself in the foot.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
I didn't know that was considered welfare fraud and also I felt guilty for the times I was unable to provide financially for the children.
Your actions tell a different story. You agreed to not put your child on your insurance because you knew her intention was to let the state keep providing those benefits, even though the child likely didn't qualify for them.
 

Rkm5310

Junior Member
Sixth: Run everything through a cs calculator first to make sure you don't shoot yourself in the foot.
And that's what my major concern is. It's the reason I want to wait until November as my financial situation as finally for the 1st time in my life a little bit better which is why I want to buy a house to have both of my kids live with me. I feel like going down to family Court after they see my full time salary and her being part time...even if I had my daughter living with me for the past 2 years with no assist from mom for even a tiit
Your actions tell a different story. You agreed to not put your child on your insurance because you knew her intention was to let the state keep providing those benefits, even though the child likely didn't qualify for them.[/QUOTEtty as I stated it was out of guilt...not saying that's a valid reason....I have no gain personal or fiscally from it
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
What is the name of your state? Pennsylvania

I have 2 children from a 7yr relationship with a woman (a 15 year old son and an 11yr old daughter) ....we were never married and have been separated for over 8 years now. I went through a rough period of not having a job after she and I broke up and I was homeless for 1year...I would not always have money to buy things for birthdays and holidays....but I always had my kids on the weekends. For the last 6 years I have been on child support and it comes out of my check automatically....I would see my children every weekend and for extended lengths during holidays and summer breaks. There haven't been any modifications to the amount of child support since it was 1st set up. I always told the mother once I got on my feet I would take them both...2 years ago I moved my daughter in with me....registered her for school in my neighborhood( the mom told me not to put her under my insurance as it would interfere with her benefits she received from the state at that time)the mom works currently part time and I still see my son on the weekends as well as extended breaks.. Holidays etc... I'm currently saving to buy my 1st House as my lease is up at the end of November. My current fiancée tells me I should try to get the child support order terminated as I see my son every weekend and during the summer I keep him for weeks at a time...as well as during winter breaks I keep him for weeks at a time . I still buy the majority of his clothing even bought him an iPhone. She also states things may weigh in my favor as my daughter has been living with my for the last couple years and her mother doesn't Assist in any way financially with her . But I'm hesitant to go to family Court as there were no modifications to the original order for child support and I'm worried that I'll be somehow be liable retroactively for any pay increase that I received... I'm assuming I'm supposed to report any pay rate increase... Since we never went to court to get any order modifications and my daughter lives with me, I just told her she could keep the child support that was given for both kids even though she only has my son. I'm wondering if I should just leave it alone as far as trying to get the child support order terminated, I don't believe I have a case and I should wait until November when I move and officially have them both to pursue having the order officially terminated... Just wanted another person's perspective as I'm not familiar with the legalities involved in this sort of situation.
Did mom agree to you moving your daughter in with you? Would mom agree to you moving your son in with you? It sounds to me like you have done nothing to make it official that either of your children live with you. That could bite you in the backside. If mom has primary custody by court order she can keep your son with her and move your daughter right back in with her as well.

You need to settle the custody issues before you do any messing around with child support.
 

Rkm5310

Junior Member
That's are no custody orders in place. I keep a direct line of communication with mom..,she's on the list of emergency contact for the school my daughter is in and she was upset that I was only able to take my daughter and not my son a couple of years ago
 

Rkm5310

Junior Member
Did mom agree to you moving your daughter in with you? Would mom agree to you moving your son in with you? It sounds to me like you have done nothing to make it official that either of your children live with you. That could bite you in the backside. If mom has primary custody by court order she can keep your son with her and move your daughter right back in with her as well.

You need to settle the custody issues before you do any messing around with child support.
And as far as my son.. She wants him to live with me.. I don't have enough space in my current apartment to facilitate that... I told her I would be able to take him by November when my lease is up
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
And as far as my son.. She wants him to live with me.. I don't have enough space in my current apartment to facilitate that... I told her I would be able to take him by November when my lease is up
I still think that you should get custody and parenting time legally established. That protects everyone.
 

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