Should I seek exclusive residence?

[Penn_div]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Pennsylvania

I am leaning toward retaining and attorney and filing for divorce soon, but prior to that am seeking as many ideas as I can. My wife and I have been married for 10 years and 3 months. 3 weeks ago she told me that she is romantically involved with another man and no longer wants to continue her marriage to me. We have had trouble of varying degree in the past (never legal, no domestic violence, etc.), but I was stunned by this news. I temporarily moved 1 mile away for two weeks and returned as agreed. I found several of this man's personal items in our house (jointly owned, purchased after the marriage).

I asked my wife to please not allow him into the house because I am not comfortable given the situation for him to be there at any time, and if she insists on seeing him she should go to his apartment. I set my table to video record the backdoor, and while I was at work (wife works from home remotely for local employer) I saw a man (no sign of her) wandering through the kitchen. I called the police to report and ultimately she said she let him in (she turned out to be home) and it was resolved.

At this point I do not feel safe knowing this man could be there when I return home at any time. I do not trust my possessions will not be taken. Plus, am also angry. I feel like if she wants to leave me and is using our home to entertain her boyfriend, even if she claims he wants to avoid contact with me, I do not feel safe here and want her out. Is this, generally speaking, justification for an order of exclusive residency during proceedings?

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

You should seek your share of marital possessions in an agreed upon and orderly manner to avoid extensive legal fees. Then one or both of you could file for the divorce and submit the agreed upon settlement for court approval.

 

[not2cleverRed]

One of the biggest mistakes people make in a divorce is fighting over who gets the house.

It is far wiser to sell the house, split the equity and go your separate ways.

Do you really want to sleep in the house after she's had her playmate cavorting in the bedroom? Yuck. Whole place needs to be bleached down at the very least.

Does your wife have the financial ability to buy out your half of the equity AND get the mortgage refinanced in her name? Probably not. If her playmate were flush with dough, she'd be staying at his place.

Rent a storage unit, start putting your belongings in it, and file for divorce. Demand the house be sold as part of the divorce. If you have children, stay with them and do not move anywhere without them.