Should I worry about bias in social study based on who pays?

[killerzoey]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? HI

Looks like we're headed to trial and I think at the upcoming hearing to set date that STBX's attorney will be requesting a social study. I assume we'll have to agree on a person to conduct the study, and the name his attorney threw out was not known by mine so she tended to want to find one that both sides had faith in.

Anyway, the mediator suggested that since STBX is requesting the study that I could request that he pay.

Does this matter? I know it's a hard question because people are individuals, but in the legal culture is it generally regarded as a bad idea to allow the other party to pay in full for something like this, just in case it sways the evaluator?

Any insight would be appreciated. I understand these studies carry weight. I am not too concerned of the outcome, particularly since the mediator and my lawyer have indicated that I will probably come out very well in it. Plus the kids are young, one is breastfeeding, they live with me, and I am and have always been primary caretaker. At most the study would show both of us adequate, him a little quirky but harmless, and possibly recommend that I not relocate too quickly (am seeking relocation w/ children based on his lack of employment and hard financial times here). But it would be a huge surprise to everyone if anyone recommended he get custody.

I am, however, hoping that some of the more concerning aspects of his personality emerge and are recognized as barriers to successful co-parenting. He is a very charming man and at worst comes off befuddled and possibly hen-pecked, but with a heart of gold. I am hoping they will look a little deeper into past patterns and see what I see.

 

[RR Rodriguez]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? HI

Looks like we're headed to trial and I think at the upcoming hearing to set date that STBX's attorney will be requesting a social study. I assume we'll have to agree on a person to conduct the study, and the name his attorney threw out was not known by mine so she tended to want to find one that both sides had faith in.

Anyway, the mediator suggested that since STBX is requesting the study that I could request that he pay.

Does this matter? I know it's a hard question because people are individuals, but in the legal culture is it generally regarded as a bad idea to allow the other party to pay in full for something like this, just in case it sways the evaluator?

Any insight would be appreciated. I understand these studies carry weight. I am not too concerned of the outcome, particularly since the mediator and my lawyer have indicated that I will probably come out very well in it. Plus the kids are young, one is breastfeeding, they live with me, and I am and have always been primary caretaker. At most the study would show both of us adequate, him a little quirky but harmless, and possibly recommend that I not relocate too quickly (am seeking relocation w/ children based on his lack of employment and hard financial times here). But it would be a huge surprise to everyone if anyone recommended he get custody.

I am, however, hoping that some of the more concerning aspects of his personality emerge and are recognized as barriers to successful co-parenting. He is a very charming man and at worst comes off befuddled and possibly hen-pecked, but with a heart of gold. I am hoping they will look a little deeper into past patterns and see what I see.

Doesn't appear you have a problem madam. Good luck to you.

I'm quite confident it doesnt matter who pays, how would that sway the outcome? thats dumb, your fine, and it is refreshing to hear a poster not accusing / namecalling the other party, I think it will all turn out for the best.

 

[Ronin]

Although you may request he pay since he asked for it, it is common for the court to order both sides split the expenses anyway, in part to minimize any claims of bias.

I would not bet on a "social study" digging deeply enough into 'past patterns' to make any meaningful inferences or determinations on this. Or that they will necessarily see what you see.

Presumably the intent of the social study is less one of changing custody, but seeking a recommendation against relocation.

One parents lack of, or difficulty in finding, employment is not a good basis to argue relocating their children away from them.

 

[gr8rn]

What is wrong with him having shared custody? What is the problem? Personally, I wish I had your problems. Give me charming, befuddled and quirky any day of the week. Sure beats abusive, controlling and inappropriate. You should stick around and coparent with this guy. He sounds great, in fact, give me his number, I think I am in love

 

[gr8rn]

Wait, never mind, killerzoey. I remember your ex. He does have issues.

 

[killerzoey]

Wait, never mind, killerzoey. I remember your ex. He does have issues.

LOL thanks, gr8rn. I didn't get into it here, but yeah.

The charming, befuddled, quirky stuff is what the courts are likely to see. The problems that prevent co-parenting successfully are inability to put children's needs before his, inability to honor agreements, impulsivity. Last week's version of this was that he took the baby out of daycare for the day - his first long visit ever - without asking anyone who cares for her about what she needs. He actually denied needing a bottle when the daycare woman asked him, and later seemed surprised to learn that she needed one. Whatever he fed her instead (he responded to my text asking if he had formula with "she is eating well") gave her diarrhea for three days. And he left me hanging at the exchange point for 35 minutes because he didn't want to come up the street, he left the kids in the car to come across the parking lot to argue with me... Yeah...issues.

 

[gr8rn]

OMG yes. Get the social study. If you agree to pay half then that would put to rest any bias issues.

Based on the history (went back and read your old threads, OMG yes he has so many issues!!!) I don't think he will be able to hide these issues seeing as how the evaluator is trained to look at the whole picture and not just what is shown to them at face value. Bring your list of examples of things he has done there are so many that I think it will be a slam dunk that they will not take his charming exterior self at face value and will look deeper and see the disturbed person underneath.

 

[Artemis_ofthe_Hunt]

What is wrong with him having shared custody? What is the problem? Personally, I wish I had your problems. Give me charming, befuddled and quirky any day of the week. Sure beats abusive, controlling and inappropriate. You should stick around and coparent with this guy. He sounds great, in fact, give me his number, I think I am in love

OMG yes. Get the social study. If you agree to pay half then that would put to rest any bias issues.

Based on the history (went back and read your old threads, OMG yes he has so many issues!!!) I don't think he will be able to hide these issues seeing as how the evaluator is trained to look at the whole picture and not just what is shown to them at face value. Bring your list of examples of things he has done there are so many that I think it will be a slam dunk that they will not take his charming exterior self at face value and will look deeper and see the disturbed person underneath.

I was getting a tad worried here.... I was afraid you hadn't read OP's previous threads in regards to STBX's inappropriate and frankly disgusting behaviors during pick ups and drop offs.