What is the name of your state? Alaska
Okay...my divorce took place in Texas 5/03...we were named joint parent conservators but i was given the rights of a managing conservator and he the rights of a possessary conservator; he actually left the state of texas prior to the divorce even being final. at the time, i was active duty military.
from may 03 until dec 03, he did not come to see his children and rarely called. in dec 03, he spent 4 days with them at my home. He did not see the kids again until Dec 2004 when again he spent 4 days with them at my home. Both times, his mother, whom he lives with, was with him. Since our divorce, he has NEVER spent a day, let alone an evening, with the children by himself. The kids were 2,4 and 5 at the time of the divorce. They were 3, 5 and 6 at the last visit. My ex has not seen the kids since Dec 2004. I moved on military orders in Feb 2005 to Alaska and he was well aware of this move and actually stated it would be good for the kids. I filed for modification of child support in Nov 2005 (and currently have a thread on that board).
In Feb 2007, Florida found his support needed to be increased; of course he disagreed. He hired a lawyer who in April filed motions in Florida for visitation, contempt of court and enforcement of order along with attorney fees. I was served with a summons regarding these in Jul 2007. Prior to receiving the summons, I filed to register my order in Alaska since none of us lived in Texas. I knew he was up to something because after a year of no contact, he started sending cards and actually wrote he wanted to be a part of their lives now. He never responded to the notice of registration and as a result, the order was confirmed registered. I then filed a motion to modify asking for him to re-establish a parent/child relationship. As a result, his attorney filed a motion to set aside the confirmation stating i was trying to terminate his parental rights.
In Aug, the judge here in AK held a status hearing. He tried to get my ex's attorney to see that registering an order for enforcement of support didnt' mean that individual was giving that state jurisdiction over custody. Neither myself nor the kids HAVE EVER LIVED IN FLORIDA. His atty is saying I"m in contempt because I never notified him (the Texas court has proof of the notification). She goes on to say I've withheld visitation. Not sure how I've done this since he has never advised me he was coming; nor has he ever showed up at my home and I told him he couldn't see the kids. So the AK judge stated he could talk with the judge in Florida but preferred to do it "on record". So we have a hearing 10/17 to determine which court has jurisdiction over what. Each side was to submit any and all motions by Sep 14 and responses by Sep 28 and reply by Oct 5. My understanding in the order issued by the judge here was these motions needed to pertain to jurisdictional issues.
I've been representing myself here pro se but was forced to hire an attorney in Florida to get the motions for contempt, enforcement...etc. dismissed. On Friday, I received a supplemental petition to change custody. His attorney is now asking that primary residential custody be awarded in his favor. In my head, I know the chances of this happening are pretty slim to none...however, the emotional mom side of me takes over a lot and I start to worry.
Since our divorce, he has spent a total of 8 days with the kids. And until Mar 07, he called very sporadically and in fact he did not talk to the kids from Jan 06-Nov 06. He refuses to provide medical insurance that can be used. He states I choose to live here and it's not his fault deal with it.
During our status hearing, he requested specific times to call. Well the judge set a time but advised him the parents should talk at the end of each conversation because children had lives and things came up so he needed to realize that (he requested phone calls on Saturday; judge decided 10 AM). The judge also asked if he wanted a visit between now and Oct. He said it would be nice but with trying to get time off and a plane ticket it wasn't feasible. Yet he posted that same day on his myspace page he couldn't wait to see his girlfriend in 2 days (she lives in OKC). well his first saturday call he called 3 hours late. i had already let the kids go out to play after waiting 2 1/2 hours. At the end of this call, I advised him they were in the state fair parade the next weekend and he needed to call at 8 our time (12 his (fl) time). Well, he called at 12 in the time zone he was in (OKC) and got mad because the kids were already lined up for the fair. And yes, he was in OKC because he posted pics to myspace with the dates. So when the kids had a camping trip come up with their football team I advised him of the schedule change in an email. He got very "ignorant" and said if this continued to happen, he would do whatever was necessary to talk to his kids...okay. I told him I wasn't going to deny the kids the opportunity to participate in special events just to accomadate his schedule. He also thinks I must tell him every detail of what goes on in my home when the kids are with me.
I know without a doubt had I never filed for an increase in support, I wouldn't have these new headaches. A couple of questions:
1. Is it my responsibility to call him and ask if he is going to exercise his visitation? The court order is very explicit in what the visitation schedule is. When we were divorced, he coined a term "open custody" meaning he wanted to come see the kids whenever he wanted. I didn't have a problem with it. And yes I have the email traffic about this arrangement. However, if I did have a problem, the possession order in the decree would become the visitation schedule. So again, is it my responsibility to call him and ask if he wants to see them?
2. In y'all's opinions, what are his chances of getting primary custody after only seeing the kids for a sum total of 8 days in the past 4 1/2 years?
3. Am I being unreasonable in requesting he re-establish a parent/child relationship prior to taking the kids out of state for an extended period of time?
Any thoughts or recommendations would be greatly appreciated. I am fortunate in that I am financially able to support my kids; however, I don't feel it is totally my responsibility to support them financially 100%.
Okay...my divorce took place in Texas 5/03...we were named joint parent conservators but i was given the rights of a managing conservator and he the rights of a possessary conservator; he actually left the state of texas prior to the divorce even being final. at the time, i was active duty military.
from may 03 until dec 03, he did not come to see his children and rarely called. in dec 03, he spent 4 days with them at my home. He did not see the kids again until Dec 2004 when again he spent 4 days with them at my home. Both times, his mother, whom he lives with, was with him. Since our divorce, he has NEVER spent a day, let alone an evening, with the children by himself. The kids were 2,4 and 5 at the time of the divorce. They were 3, 5 and 6 at the last visit. My ex has not seen the kids since Dec 2004. I moved on military orders in Feb 2005 to Alaska and he was well aware of this move and actually stated it would be good for the kids. I filed for modification of child support in Nov 2005 (and currently have a thread on that board).
In Feb 2007, Florida found his support needed to be increased; of course he disagreed. He hired a lawyer who in April filed motions in Florida for visitation, contempt of court and enforcement of order along with attorney fees. I was served with a summons regarding these in Jul 2007. Prior to receiving the summons, I filed to register my order in Alaska since none of us lived in Texas. I knew he was up to something because after a year of no contact, he started sending cards and actually wrote he wanted to be a part of their lives now. He never responded to the notice of registration and as a result, the order was confirmed registered. I then filed a motion to modify asking for him to re-establish a parent/child relationship. As a result, his attorney filed a motion to set aside the confirmation stating i was trying to terminate his parental rights.
In Aug, the judge here in AK held a status hearing. He tried to get my ex's attorney to see that registering an order for enforcement of support didnt' mean that individual was giving that state jurisdiction over custody. Neither myself nor the kids HAVE EVER LIVED IN FLORIDA. His atty is saying I"m in contempt because I never notified him (the Texas court has proof of the notification). She goes on to say I've withheld visitation. Not sure how I've done this since he has never advised me he was coming; nor has he ever showed up at my home and I told him he couldn't see the kids. So the AK judge stated he could talk with the judge in Florida but preferred to do it "on record". So we have a hearing 10/17 to determine which court has jurisdiction over what. Each side was to submit any and all motions by Sep 14 and responses by Sep 28 and reply by Oct 5. My understanding in the order issued by the judge here was these motions needed to pertain to jurisdictional issues.
I've been representing myself here pro se but was forced to hire an attorney in Florida to get the motions for contempt, enforcement...etc. dismissed. On Friday, I received a supplemental petition to change custody. His attorney is now asking that primary residential custody be awarded in his favor. In my head, I know the chances of this happening are pretty slim to none...however, the emotional mom side of me takes over a lot and I start to worry.
Since our divorce, he has spent a total of 8 days with the kids. And until Mar 07, he called very sporadically and in fact he did not talk to the kids from Jan 06-Nov 06. He refuses to provide medical insurance that can be used. He states I choose to live here and it's not his fault deal with it.
During our status hearing, he requested specific times to call. Well the judge set a time but advised him the parents should talk at the end of each conversation because children had lives and things came up so he needed to realize that (he requested phone calls on Saturday; judge decided 10 AM). The judge also asked if he wanted a visit between now and Oct. He said it would be nice but with trying to get time off and a plane ticket it wasn't feasible. Yet he posted that same day on his myspace page he couldn't wait to see his girlfriend in 2 days (she lives in OKC). well his first saturday call he called 3 hours late. i had already let the kids go out to play after waiting 2 1/2 hours. At the end of this call, I advised him they were in the state fair parade the next weekend and he needed to call at 8 our time (12 his (fl) time). Well, he called at 12 in the time zone he was in (OKC) and got mad because the kids were already lined up for the fair. And yes, he was in OKC because he posted pics to myspace with the dates. So when the kids had a camping trip come up with their football team I advised him of the schedule change in an email. He got very "ignorant" and said if this continued to happen, he would do whatever was necessary to talk to his kids...okay. I told him I wasn't going to deny the kids the opportunity to participate in special events just to accomadate his schedule. He also thinks I must tell him every detail of what goes on in my home when the kids are with me.
I know without a doubt had I never filed for an increase in support, I wouldn't have these new headaches. A couple of questions:
1. Is it my responsibility to call him and ask if he is going to exercise his visitation? The court order is very explicit in what the visitation schedule is. When we were divorced, he coined a term "open custody" meaning he wanted to come see the kids whenever he wanted. I didn't have a problem with it. And yes I have the email traffic about this arrangement. However, if I did have a problem, the possession order in the decree would become the visitation schedule. So again, is it my responsibility to call him and ask if he wants to see them?
2. In y'all's opinions, what are his chances of getting primary custody after only seeing the kids for a sum total of 8 days in the past 4 1/2 years?
3. Am I being unreasonable in requesting he re-establish a parent/child relationship prior to taking the kids out of state for an extended period of time?
Any thoughts or recommendations would be greatly appreciated. I am fortunate in that I am financially able to support my kids; however, I don't feel it is totally my responsibility to support them financially 100%.
