shesaidwhat
Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Custody/Support/Divorce in WV - Residents of OH since 2005 - Dad lives in WV now, so I assume everything has to stay there?
Hello all. I have posted some history here before. Brief rundown: Father has been absent off and on for months/years at a time for son's entire life. Sadly, there honestly is no emotional relationship between father and child at all. I have always encouraged a relationship, talked to son about father, shown pictures, allowed for visitation whenever father requested it, etc.
Father remarried, SM wanted to take everything over, badmouthed me to son, forced communication through herself and wanted to take son so they wouldn't have to pay child support. It obviously didn't work. Since August (possibly September, but that's stretching it) 2009, my son's father has not attempted to contact him at all. My communication with his father ended when he informed me through email that I was no longer to contact him (I posted about that here) at the same time.
Christmas 2009 father chose not to exercise his visitation. Did not call or contact son in any way. Dad's Mother did contact me and I made last minute arrangements to meet with her so she could give child gifts from herself. None from father. Child called her (Grandma/Dad's Mom) on Christmas Day and she happened to be at Dad's house. She asked if he wanted to talk to Dad, he did, so Dad got on the phone. Dad said they were busy opening presents and he would call son back. He never did.
Sorry if this information is irrelevant, I don't know if any of this is relevant regarding contact between son and Dad so I'm including anything I think might be.
Recently the state filed contempt against Dad for non payment of child support. He stopped paying support completely in April of 2009. Prior to that his payments were sporadic at best and he was most often in arrears. They intercepted he and his wife's tax return, but he has still not been making any current payments at all. He is currently petitioning to modify child support and have it lowered. It is already obscenely low, but whatever. He did not ask to modify visitation or the parenting plan. Only child support. In our state, both of these are modified at the same time/with the same petition if that is wanted (not sure if it is like that everywhere). He has 8 days of ordered visitation per year from the courts. He doesn't use that and didn't ask for more.
I remarried in 2005. My husband and I have been together since 2002, when my son was 2. My husband has never been an overstepping step parent, never involved himself in affairs between my ex and I, but he has raised my son and been a great step father. Son is now 10 1/2. His father has been in and out and never reliable. I worry that if something were to happen to me he would have to go to a father he doesn't know and be torn from the only man that's raised him as well as his little brother (we have a 5 year old son together).
Considering his Dad's track record, and the total lack of contact the past year on his Dad's part, should we pursue step-parent adoption?
Son has asked questions recently about it (being adopted by his step-dad) and my only response so far is just, "That's a really big decision to make. I think you should be a little older before thinking about that." My husband and I have discussed it, and he is fully willing and would love to adopt son.
Son sees a counselor and apparently has brought the idea up to him several times.
Any help, advice, opinions, or pointing in the right direction would be appreciated.
Hello all. I have posted some history here before. Brief rundown: Father has been absent off and on for months/years at a time for son's entire life. Sadly, there honestly is no emotional relationship between father and child at all. I have always encouraged a relationship, talked to son about father, shown pictures, allowed for visitation whenever father requested it, etc.
Father remarried, SM wanted to take everything over, badmouthed me to son, forced communication through herself and wanted to take son so they wouldn't have to pay child support. It obviously didn't work. Since August (possibly September, but that's stretching it) 2009, my son's father has not attempted to contact him at all. My communication with his father ended when he informed me through email that I was no longer to contact him (I posted about that here) at the same time.
Christmas 2009 father chose not to exercise his visitation. Did not call or contact son in any way. Dad's Mother did contact me and I made last minute arrangements to meet with her so she could give child gifts from herself. None from father. Child called her (Grandma/Dad's Mom) on Christmas Day and she happened to be at Dad's house. She asked if he wanted to talk to Dad, he did, so Dad got on the phone. Dad said they were busy opening presents and he would call son back. He never did.
Sorry if this information is irrelevant, I don't know if any of this is relevant regarding contact between son and Dad so I'm including anything I think might be.
Recently the state filed contempt against Dad for non payment of child support. He stopped paying support completely in April of 2009. Prior to that his payments were sporadic at best and he was most often in arrears. They intercepted he and his wife's tax return, but he has still not been making any current payments at all. He is currently petitioning to modify child support and have it lowered. It is already obscenely low, but whatever. He did not ask to modify visitation or the parenting plan. Only child support. In our state, both of these are modified at the same time/with the same petition if that is wanted (not sure if it is like that everywhere). He has 8 days of ordered visitation per year from the courts. He doesn't use that and didn't ask for more.
I remarried in 2005. My husband and I have been together since 2002, when my son was 2. My husband has never been an overstepping step parent, never involved himself in affairs between my ex and I, but he has raised my son and been a great step father. Son is now 10 1/2. His father has been in and out and never reliable. I worry that if something were to happen to me he would have to go to a father he doesn't know and be torn from the only man that's raised him as well as his little brother (we have a 5 year old son together).
Considering his Dad's track record, and the total lack of contact the past year on his Dad's part, should we pursue step-parent adoption?
Son has asked questions recently about it (being adopted by his step-dad) and my only response so far is just, "That's a really big decision to make. I think you should be a little older before thinking about that." My husband and I have discussed it, and he is fully willing and would love to adopt son.
Son sees a counselor and apparently has brought the idea up to him several times.
Any help, advice, opinions, or pointing in the right direction would be appreciated.
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