Sick spouse / Adult Protective Services / Sheriff / How can I keep control ?

[Jim718]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas

I am sorry if I am posting this in the wrong category. This is the closest I could find.

I am in Texas. My wife is an hour away in another county (her choice). We are still legally married. She has a history of mental illness. She has become very obese and now it looks like she has cellulitis/edema in her legs. Her lower right leg is now "oozing". I am concerned that she is going to lose a toe or foot. My wife is not co-operative and will not go to a doctor. There is a hospital about an hour away that is highly rated, and also has a mental health facility near. I would appreciate any advice with these questions.

1) Should I ask Adult Protective Services to get involved?
2) I would like to "coerce" my wife to go to that hospital. Would it be necessary to have her committed for this to happen?
3) I would rather not have APS and law enforcement overly involved in our lives. I just want to make sure my wife gets medical care and mental health care. How can I get her the help she needs without APS and law enforcement taking total control of our lives?

Thank you for any help or advice.

 

[CdwJava]

Unless you can get a doctor or law enforcement to place her on some sort of mental health hold, then she is free to make whatever ill-advised medical decisions she chooses. Until she is incapable of making her own medical decisions, she has a legal right to refuse aid.

And, be careful, if you do get mental health, APS, or law enforcement involved and she is declared incompetent in some way, then they WILL be involved in your lives.

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

As you are still married and Texas is a community property state, you will likely be the one ultimately footing the bill for any medical care she obtains not covered by insurance.

 

[Jim718]

Thanks

As you are still married and Texas is a community property state, you will likely be the one ultimately footing the bill for any medical care she obtains not covered by insurance.

That's not a problem. I'm just concerned about her welfare, getting the treatment she needs, while retaining as many rights as possible pertaining to her care. I am not sure how to "coerce" her into getting care, and at the same time retaining those rights. I spoke to someone at the hospital and they said I might talk to the sheriff about an "emergency detention" and then get her transferred to the hospital. She will fight this (as she will refuse any medical care at this point), so I don't know how this will play out.

 

[Jim718]

Thank you

Unless you can get a doctor or law enforcement to place her on some sort of mental health hold, then she is free to make whatever ill-advised medical decisions she chooses. Until she is incapable of making her own medical decisions, she has a legal right to refuse aid.

And, be careful, if you do get mental health, APS, or law enforcement involved and she is declared incompetent in some way, then they WILL be involved in your lives.

Thank you. I don't see any way around getting mental health involved (she talks to herself), although I may be able to bypass APS. Someone at the local hospital mentioned I may be able to call the sheriff and get an "emergency detention" in order to get her treatment. I would rather have the rights over her care, than to give it up to the state, but I am not certain how to do this. I may speak to a local attorney on Monday. Thank you.

 

[Just Blue]

That's not a problem. I'm just concerned about her welfare, getting the treatment she needs, while retaining as many rights as possible pertaining to her care. I am not sure how to "coerce" her into getting care, and at the same time retaining those rights. I spoke to someone at the hospital and they said I might talk to the sheriff about an "emergency detention" and then get her transferred to the hospital. She will fight this (as she will refuse any medical care at this point), so I don't know how this will play out.

You can not "coerce" a medically competent person to get medical care.

Your only recourse is to file to have her declared "unfit" to make her own medical decisions.

This will involve the State Agency(ies).

 

[justalayman]

I don't see any way around getting mental health involved (she talks to herself)

so does a huge percentage of the US population. It's when you hear answers from somebody not there that it is a problem.

Someone at the local hospital mentioned I may be able to call the sheriff and get an "emergency detention" in order to get her treatment. I would rather have the rights over her care, than to give it up to the state,

that emergency detention would require they consider her mentally incompetent. That means you will be giving up both her and your rights to control the situation.

as others have stated; as long as she is considered mentally competent, she can set there and basically fall apart and there is nothing anybody can do about it as long as she is conscious. Until that time, she is in control of her own self and has a right to refuse to seek medical attention.

So, unless she has lost consciousness due to the medical issue or is considered to be mentally incompetent, she can do what she wants to do.

 

[CdwJava]

Thank you. I don't see any way around getting mental health involved (she talks to herself),

Talking to herself does not imply that she incapable of making decisions for her care. Heck, most mentally ill people are perfectly capable of (legally) determining the course of their care or even refusing it.

Someone at the local hospital mentioned I may be able to call the sheriff and get an "emergency detention" in order to get her treatment.

That will only occur if she is an immediate danger to herself or others. Refusing medical care when it might be prudent or advisable is NOT going to suffice.

I would rather have the rights over her care, than to give it up to the state, but I am not certain how to do this. I may speak to a local attorney on Monday. Thank you.

You would first have to have a court declare her incompetent to make her own decisions, and then to grant YOU the authority to do so. Yes, you will need a lawyer - and the assistance of doctors who will testify as to her incompetence to make these decisions. If you don't have these doctors, and cannot convince a court to mandate a competency hearing, then you may well accomplish nothing (and nothing you have stated so far would seem to me to be sufficient to compel the court to act and compel a mental health evaluation).

 

[AlmostThere]

Do you visit your wife? If it looks like she is in need of urgent medical care - call an ambulance. Many people will refuse to go for medical treatment on their own or at the urging of their spouse, and deny that they are ill or injured. However, when faced with a medical professional, even an EMT telling them they need care, they act more reasonably. (My ex would refuse to go to hospital for his life threatening blood pressure not matter how many times I tried to reason with him, show him the guidelines the doctors had provided, etc. But, if I could get his doctor on the phone with him, he'd submit to the DOCTOR telling him to go to the ER, and let me take him.)

If she refuses to go, there will be no insurance for the call - and to be honest, usually insurance coverage for ambulance services is pretty miserable. But if money is a much lesser concern then your wife's well being, this maybe a way to "coerce" her to receive some medical care.

Good luck.