Sister Picked up Mom and Took Her to Another State

[strangefire]

What is the name of your state? What is the name of your state? Tennessee

My mother has been living with me for over 30 years. We share home ownership in Nashville, TN. My youngest sister, who lives in Georgia, recently began contacting my mother by phone after a long time of no contact. She talked my mom into allowing her to come and get her and take her back to her home for a visit. Mom agreed and is now in Georgia. My mom is 88 years old and has had recent health problems. She did have an admission to the hospital while there for 3 days. Originally she was to bring her back before Thanksgiving but because she did not get to do the things she wanted my sister said she would be staying until December 6th. My mom notified me today that she will not be coming back until some time in January, 2019. I attempted to call mom back to ask her if she was thinking about living there permanently. My sister answered and told me that I made mom upset and that her blood pressure went up. She would not allow me to talk to her. Mom and I have divided household responsibilities. We are both on the mortgage. My mom's income covers one half and some of the utilities are in my mom's name. I pay for the homeowner's insurance, the association fees, and the upkeep and maintenance of the house. I have provided my moms transportation for all reasons for all these years. I believe that I have provided over 51 % of mom's expenses for the last 30 years as she has limited income. I talked to my sister this evening and she refused to let me talk to my mom. She stated that she and her husband had come to Nashville yesterday to take care of something for mom. I asked why she didn't stop by the house. She didn't answer. My concern is that my sister now has power of attorney and came to Nashville to talk to our mortgage company or to get a copy of our documents. I have not been notified of anything yet. I also wondered if they went to our bank in regard to our joint bank account. I haven't seen anything changed in the balance yet. The thing is I know that my sister would not be able to afford to support my mom. My sister doesn't work and her husband doesn't really make a huge salary and travels all the time. I don't have a formal power of attorney. We always had an agreement between ourselves. I do have my mom's hand written wishes (she calls it a will) and was told by her attorney that it was binding in the State of Tennessee. In the "will" she states the house and all contents are to be mine. If my sister is power of attorney I believe she would make sure that was not the case. Anyway, I'm worried that my sister will have control of my mom's money and my mom's part of the house note won't be paid. I don't know what my legal rights are. If my mom wants to live with my sister I'm ok with that although I don't think it's to her best interest. I'm not ok with being left high and dry with half the house note not paid if that were to happen and not being notified in any way of what the plans are. Is there anything I can do? Should I even be concerned?

 

[LdiJ]

If the house note is such a problem, what are you going to do when your mother passes away? Perhaps you should be looking for ways to cut back expenses so that you can handle it on your own. Or, perhaps even consider selling and using your share of the proceeds to buy something that you own just by yourself. Also, you need to open a new bank account immediately, that is just in your name, and put all of your money in it. I assume that your mother's income get direct deposited into the joint account and you would leave the joint account for that.

 

[not2cleverRed]

A HUGE concern I have, given your mother's age, is healthcare.

My parents are of a similar age, living completely independently, but in order to maintain their health and independence they go to their drs regularly. Their whole schedule revolves around their appointments, and it is rare for them to have a couple of weeks where neither has one.

Financially, yes, you are jointly obligated to pay the bills, but you're on the hook if she doesn't pony up. So yes, I'd be concerned, and plan accordingly.

 

[stealth2]

What is the name of your state? What is the name of your state? Tennessee

My mother has been living with me for over 30 years. We share home ownership in Nashville, TN. My youngest sister, who lives in Georgia, recently began contacting my mother by phone after a long time of no contact. She talked my mom into allowing her to come and get her and take her back to her home for a visit. Mom agreed and is now in Georgia. My mom is 88 years old and has had recent health problems. She did have an admission to the hospital while there for 3 days. Originally she was to bring her back before Thanksgiving but because she did not get to do the things she wanted my sister said she would be staying until December 6th. My mom notified me today that she will not be coming back until some time in January, 2019. I attempted to call mom back to ask her if she was thinking about living there permanently. My sister answered and told me that I made mom upset and that her blood pressure went up. She would not allow me to talk to her. Mom and I have divided household responsibilities. We are both on the mortgage. My mom's income covers one half and some of the utilities are in my mom's name. I pay for the homeowner's insurance, the association fees, and the upkeep and maintenance of the house. I have provided my moms transportation for all reasons for all these years. I believe that I have provided over 51 % of mom's expenses for the last 30 years as she has limited income. I talked to my sister this evening and she refused to let me talk to my mom. She stated that she and her husband had come to Nashville yesterday to take care of something for mom. I asked why she didn't stop by the house. She didn't answer. My concern is that my sister now has power of attorney and came to Nashville to talk to our mortgage company or to get a copy of our documents. I have not been notified of anything yet. I also wondered if they went to our bank in regard to our joint bank account. I haven't seen anything changed in the balance yet. The thing is I know that my sister would not be able to afford to support my mom. My sister doesn't work and her husband doesn't really make a huge salary and travels all the time. I don't have a formal power of attorney. We always had an agreement between ourselves. I do have my mom's hand written wishes (she calls it a will) and was told by her attorney that it was binding in the State of Tennessee. In the "will" she states the house and all contents are to be mine. If my sister is power of attorney I believe she would make sure that was not the case. Anyway, I'm worried that my sister will have control of my mom's money and my mom's part of the house note won't be paid. I don't know what my legal rights are. If my mom wants to live with my sister I'm ok with that although I don't think it's to her best interest. I'm not ok with being left high and dry with half the house note not paid if that were to happen and not being notified in any way of what the plans are. Is there anything I can do? Should I even be concerned?

Yep, you should be concerned. If you have money going into that joint account, you need to change that ASAP. And move your money from it. The housing costs could be an issue, as well as how it's deeded.