slandered when wife petitioned

[custodad]

Wife has history of mental illness, stopped taking anti-psychotic medications, disappeared for about a month last year. She resurfaced, filed for divorce, accused me of spousal abuse (I guess; no record of petition proceedings kept by court) in State of Indiana. (I DID NOT EVER physically assault her, but did restrain her on occasions when she was having psychotic episodes.) Initial filing gave me no hearing date, no visitation, ordered me to return four children to mother. We had stayed with my parents for seven weeks on advice of counsel and mental health professionals including wife's former therapist. Initial court order implied that I had kidnapped the children, although staying with grandparents who wife had asked to baby-sit almost weekly for prior five years.

Able to achieve shared, week by week custody in subsequent hearing. Wife violently 'rocked out' on Valentine's day, oldest child called 911, police called me and took children from mother. I have had sole custody since then, wife has refused to attend counseling with children, suspended supervised visitation, agreed to me being sole custodial parent in current settlement negotiations. She wrote 'good-bye, I won't see you again' letters to all four children. (I am insisting on language in the settlement agreement which allows me to re-visit issues of mental illness, manner of filing, etc. if she should petition to modify custody.)

The bulk of the attorney fees I've incurred are precisely due to the custody fight which resulted from my wife (and possibly some of her family members) falsely alleging that I was physically abusive, and that I had taken the children across the state line (my parents do live in another state-but five minutes from our Indiana home) to avoid the court's jurisdiction. All of this was patently false, and I believe, denied my right to a reasonable due process by not even giving me a hearing date. I believe this was false, slanderous, and damaging testimony. Furthermore, I am a minister by profession, and this has had consequences in regards to my ability to minister to my parishioners in an atmosphere of trust and confidence.

After, the divorce is final, and the children are absolutely and safely under my care, can I litigate to recover the costs I incurred regaining custody of the children, which costs I might never have incurred had the court not heard false testimony? And also, am I in fact a victim of slander, and possibly a candidate to receive punitive damages?

 

[Always searching]

Why put yourself in a position concerning acquiring money from your ex wife or her family? Imagine yourself far into the future and say you did win punitive damages and get a judgement. There isn't a civil court in the entire world that MAKES anyone pay. Sure you could put it on her credit report and it would be on paper for 7-10 years but you would still not have any money. Try thinking about more positive things and keeping your children safe is one of them. That is on the right tract. I understand that it must be frustrating, but try and keep your perspective on the children and not the ex spouse even if she does deserve hell and high water.

Since you are a minister and obviously a good christian, if you feel a lawsuit would vindicate you in some sort of way, then by all means sue her. You will of course bring yourself out into the limelight and be a matter of discussion again. You are concerned about what other people are saying about you? Be a good father and a good example and that will say volumes about you. She and her family will come to their own demise but remember that she is and will always BE their mother. Try never to disparage her in the hearing range of the children. Re-read some of those bible verses and follow them.



[This message has been edited by Always searching (edited October 21, 2000).]

 

[custodad]

Thanks.

But this still doesn't address the court's behavior. How could the court neglect giving me a hearing? And how could such dramatic action, ordering me to return the kids to a mother who had disappeared for nearly a month, without even keeping a record of what was surely some very inflammatory and accusing testimony?

I got this reaction from two attorneys, who are from different firms and unacquainted: "That sounds like malpractice." Her attorney had arranged a 'psychological' (but not a 'psychiatric') evaluation for her; clearly they knew that her history of psychiatric care was an issue. In fact, by taking the evaluation, my wife in fact made it an issue before I ever got a chance to.

The most glaring and important result, money aside, was that she assaulted two of the children, choking one of them and stomping on his chest. It seems that (again, money and reputation aside) this was highly questionable lawyering on the part of her attorney, and an extremely short-sighted and dangerous action on the part of the court.

Doesn't all of this smack of violation of due process?