Social Services?

[ajritter04]

What is the name of your state? New Mexico

My ex is back again he isn't on the BC, and the child is 3 the ex has NEVER been around nor supported the child....the ex signed a pape saying he would pay me $25 a wk, or $50 every 2 wks, or 1 lump sum $100 a month. he signed and dated it. This was in may of 04 he signed this contract. Ex never did pay anything has never seen the child. Now ex is back with new gf and they both have threatned to call social services on me......I'm not too worried about it cause I haven't done anything wrong...I have heard people tell me that SS will take kids out of home during invesgation....this worries me cause my son is the child I have been talking about and he is Autistic....I have told my ex he can see his son but not bring his new gf cause she is the trouble maker she's the one threating me online and what not.....So my question is: If they call SS on me can I file some kind of harrasment or false claim charge against him?

Also I was told that if a parent hasn't been around or paid CS in so many yrs I as the parent can claim child abandonment? Is this true?

I know cause he isn't on the BC he really has no claim but that isn't going to stop him from making our lives miserable

 

[seniorjudge]

https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=326418

Please keep all your child support questions in the first thread you started about that subject.

Thank you.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? New Mexico

My ex is back again he isn't on the BC, and the child is 3 the ex has NEVER been around nor supported the child....the ex signed a pape saying he would pay me $25 a wk, or $50 every 2 wks, or 1 lump sum $100 a month. he signed and dated it. This was in may of 04 he signed this contract. Ex never did pay anything has never seen the child. Now ex is back with new gf and they both have threatned to call social services on me......I'm not too worried about it cause I haven't done anything wrong...I have heard people tell me that SS will take kids out of home during invesgation....this worries me cause my son is the child I have been talking about and he is Autistic....I have told my ex he can see his son but not bring his new gf cause she is the trouble maker she's the one threating me online and what not.....So my question is: If they call SS on me can I file some kind of harrasment or false claim charge against him?

Also I was told that if a parent hasn't been around or paid CS in so many yrs I as the parent can claim child abandonment? Is this true?

I know cause he isn't on the BC he really has no claim but that isn't going to stop him from making our lives miserable

Your "contract" really isn't enforceable as a child support order. I might be technically enforceable as a contract, but it would make a whole lot more sense simply to file for a child support order.

Social Services doesn't remove children unless they themselves see some reason to do so. False claims get made all of the time in parent vs parent battles.

 

[ajritter04]

https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=326418

Please keep all your child support questions in the first thread you started about that subject.

Thank you.

This is a totally different child and situation.

 

[ajritter04]

Your "contract" really isn't enforceable as a child support order. I might be technically enforceable as a contract, but it would make a whole lot more sense simply to file for a child support order.

Social Services doesn't remove children unless they themselves see some reason to do so. False claims get made all of the time in parent vs parent battles.

I dont want to enforce the contract now......the ex and his gf have moved back and forth from NM & TX(when they get in trouble in TX they move bacn to NM) plus they aren't stable enough to support a child....much less a child with special needs.....I have been through tons of stuff with my son in finding out he's autistic and have him on a strict schedule one that is constant that he is comfortable with......change that up and I am so scared it will ruin all the work me and several dr's have put in.

Also with my ex moving around all the time I can't get a CS order started cause nobody can locate him....I would rather now not to ever hear from him cause he will do more harm than good being in my sons life at this point.

1 more question while I am thinking about it now.

My ex's gf has 3 children of her own but the state of TX took them away from her(reasons I dont know) Would that help me to keep her away from my son if we went to court ? She has threatned several times she would leave him on a hwy if she got the chance.

 

[LdiJ]

I dont want to enforce the contract now......the ex and his gf have moved back and forth from NM & TX(when they get in trouble in TX they move bacn to NM) plus they aren't stable enough to support a child....much less a child with special needs.....I have been through tons of stuff with my son in finding out he's autistic and have him on a strict schedule one that is constant that he is comfortable with......change that up and I am so scared it will ruin all the work me and several dr's have put in.

Also with my ex moving around all the time I can't get a CS order started cause nobody can locate him....I would rather now not to ever hear from him cause he will do more harm than good being in my sons life at this point.

1 more question while I am thinking about it now.

My ex's gf has 3 children of her own but the state of TX took them away from her(reasons I dont know) Would that help me to keep her away from my son if we went to court ? She has threatned several times she would leave him on a hwy if she got the chance.

Well...I hope you keep any threatening emails that you get from her....and yes, depending upon why her children were taken away, its quite possible that it could also keep her away from yours.

At the moment, since dad isn't even legally dad, you are in 100% control. I wouldn't advise that you deny dad contact with the child entirely, but you are certainly free to exclude the girlfriend.

 

[ajritter04]

I have told him if he wants to see the child he can just as long as his gf isn't around. And his visits will be supervised. He didnt like that he wants to take a child who doesn't know him and the ex also doesn't know how to handle my son if he goes into a fit....he doesn't even know that his own son is autistic the ex tells me I am lying about it cause nothing is wrong with him. my son freaks out and has a panic attack if he can't see me but hears me only...I can't even begin to think of what he would do with a total stranger.

My ex has also told me I have to make my husband move out since he isn't my sons dad...we both know that isn't going to happen he just wants to be an ass about things saying if my husband is allowed to be around my son then so can the ex's gf. I finally got tired of them saying that so I asked a lawyer and she said if we can prove that my husband has been the sole provider and parent figure in my childs life from birth on then getting an adoption would be alot easier. I can prove 6 months before the birth that my husband was there and has been there ever since. out of the handful of words my son can clearly say is "momma", "daddy", "no" and "are you ok baby?" We have also taken my son to a counseler and she has asked my son to go to mommy and my son will come sit in my lap....then she'll tell him to go to daddy and he'll do the same.....would that help in court?

I know that sleeping with my ex was my choice as well as having a baby with him.....I also think that it is my responsiblity to make sure my son is in a safe enviroment .

 

[LdiJ]

I have told him if he wants to see the child he can just as long as his gf isn't around. And his visits will be supervised. He didnt like that he wants to take a child who doesn't know him and the ex also doesn't know how to handle my son if he goes into a fit....he doesn't even know that his own son is autistic the ex tells me I am lying about it cause nothing is wrong with him. my son freaks out and has a panic attack if he can't see me but hears me only...I can't even begin to think of what he would do with a total stranger.

My ex has also told me I have to make my husband move out since he isn't my sons dad...we both know that isn't going to happen he just wants to be an ass about things saying if my husband is allowed to be around my son then so can the ex's gf. I finally got tired of them saying that so I asked a lawyer and she said if we can prove that my husband has been the sole provider and parent figure in my childs life from birth on then getting an adoption would be alot easier. I can prove 6 months before the birth that my husband was there and has been there ever since. out of the handful of words my son can clearly say is "momma", "daddy", "no" and "are you ok baby?" We have also taken my son to a counseler and she has asked my son to go to mommy and my son will come sit in my lap....then she'll tell him to go to daddy and he'll do the same.....would that help in court?

I know that sleeping with my ex was my choice as well as having a baby with him.....I also think that it is my responsiblity to make sure my son is in a safe enviroment .

I think that you are overworrying at this point. Bio-dad isn't even legally the child's father at this point, and if he and the girlfriend are moving back and forth between NM and TX to avoid the law then the odds of him ever staying put long enough to actually complete a paternity/visitation/custody case are pretty darned slim.

Do what you and the child's doctors/counselors feel is best for the child, and if dad doesn't like it...then tell him to take it to court. If he does, then that may be a sign that he is ready to settle down and actually be a parent.

 

[ajritter04]

I do tend to over worry alot when it comes to my son.

 

[ajritter04]

Well the ex had his mother e-mail me..or maybe it was him who knows....anyways he wants to spend time alone with my son....I told him not going to happen he is allowed to see him but his gf can't be around and there will be some kind of supervison around. He told me if my husband is allowed around my son then so is his gf.....I dont feel the same way my husband has been his only fatherly figure in his life long before my son was born. I asked a law student and he said that my husband has some rights to my son being he has supported him for over 3 yrs....is their any truth in that? and Am I in the wrong for telling him no alone time or gf around while my son is around?

 

[LdiJ]

Well the ex had his mother e-mail me..or maybe it was him who knows....anyways he wants to spend time alone with my son....I told him not going to happen he is allowed to see him but his gf can't be around and there will be some kind of supervison around. He told me if my husband is allowed around my son then so is his gf.....I dont feel the same way my husband has been his only fatherly figure in his life long before my son was born. I asked a law student and he said that my husband has some rights to my son being he has supported him for over 3 yrs....is their any truth in that? and Am I in the wrong for telling him no alone time or gf around while my son is around?

Again, since he isn't even legally the father at this point, you call the shots. Nor would it be appropriate for him to have alone time with an autistic 3 year old who doesn't even know him. Nor would alone time be appropriate when he and his girlfriend are running back and forth between two states to avoid the law.

Again...offer him the opportunity to see the child under your supervision. (preferribly with you having another adult present) Its virtually guaranteed that he would have to start out that way if he took it to court....so you aren't insisting on anything that I judge would likely oppose.

 

[ceara19]

I asked a law student and he said that my husband has some rights to my son being he has supported him for over 3 yrs....is their any truth in that?

Your husband has no inherent to your child. It is possible that a court MIGHT give him a limited right to access if the 2 of you were to divorce. But as it is, YOU are the only one with ANY rights at this point.