ssusanj1116
Junior Member
My husband and I were married November of last year. I got pregnant with his child in February of this year. We argued a lot mostly because I could not trust him. He cheated on me, was very emotionally abusive, Lied constantly to me & he was never willing to compromise on anything with me. Things got worse in May of this year when he became physically abusive to me. This was the second time he had put his hands on me; the first time since I had been pregnant. At this time I kicked him out of our apartment and immediately filed for Order of Protection. I filed charges with the local police department. This was the first documented case of abuse and the police department did charge him with assault. I do still have my discharge papers from the hospital I went to the night he put his hand on me. I also took pictures of the bruising as the doctors determined I had a sprained wrist and multiple contusions on wrist and legs. The fight that night originally started because he had come home drunk after he had promised me he would stop drinking. He reported to the officers that he had been drinking but that he never touched me. The officer’s report did state this information but also stated there were no visible marks. The police did not check or even ask to look at where he had touched me. Nor did they offer to transport me to a hospital to be checked out. I was about 3 months pregnant at this time. I did complete a formal written statement while the officer's were at our home that night. My husband never completed a statement to the police as to his side of the story other than what the officer reported that husband had told him during questioning. Since then I have not spoken or communicated with my ex in anyway shape or form. This was stated in my restraining order that he was to have no communication with me through any medium. As far as the charge of assault he did not even go to court. He currently has a warrant out for his arrest for the misdemeanor assault charge. Also to add to the matter shortly after we were married I was informed by his mother and father that as a teenager he was diagnosed to have manic depressive bi-polar disorder. At that time he was put on to Lithium to help control the disorder. He has refused medical treatment and help for this disorder for the last ten years now. He is currently living at home with his parents making a really good living through our employer (Twice the amount I make which is still good enough for me not to qualify for any state or low income aid). He has not purchased anything in expectation for our new child nor has he attempted to help me out in any manor what so ever. We currently work for the same company different departments same building. When I kicked him out of our apartment I found out that he had never signed the lease so I have been left with a rent bill of almost 1000 dollars a month all by myself. I am working really hard to budget well and am just barely able to meet all of my bills. I have been on and off work quite a lot for complications during pregnancy. When I go on maternity leave I know I will not be able to meet my bills let alone any attorney fees. I fear he will try to use the money he is making to hire and incredible lawyer to defend his case. Because we work together it has gotten back to me through my supervisor and other's which we both have mutual contact that once he finds out I have had the baby he’s going to immediately file for a divorce and custody of our child. He say's he will fight me all the way for custody. With out a lawyer I have tried to do everything right so that it does not seem as I am withholding visitation from him. I don't trust him with the safety and well being of our daughter to come. However even though there is no communication between him and me. I still have maintained a good relationship with his parent and family and offered them open visitation once our daughter has arrived. I don't however wish to see him as it has been hard enough seeing him everyday at work. And I do not want to leave my daughter with him without me because I know since no divorce or custody order has been established he could take her and there would be nothing I could do. I live in Missouri where if you are pregnant by law you may not file for divorce or separations until after the baby is born. At that time due to the maternity leave and no income I will not be able to afford it. If your have any legal knowledge or about the court system please advise as how to proceed. My goal would be to obtain sole legal and physical custody allowing him supervised visitation by a professional. What is the likelyhood of him only receiving supervised visititation. Again I am in Missouri and also baby is due in two weeks
