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Sole physical and legal custody?

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cjwittle

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? missouri

I'll try to make this short! I am writing for advice for my brother and his ex girlfriend. They split up about 6 months or so ago, and she took the baby with the typical visitation agreement in place everyother weekend ect... She didnt keep up the agreement he has only seen the baby once since then. She says her lawyer told her not to let him see the baby. He has jumped through hoops trying to see her and she ignores or never shows up.

They are in total agreement on visitation, sharing all response abilties ect... except she won't let him see her until he signs papers giving her sole physical and legal custody! with him getting full desion rights, everyother weekend, 1 nite aweek. Hes wanting joint with her as primary physical, offering child support, babysitting when she works nites an weekends and just wanting to be in the little ones life. She is still refusing saying she is the mother. Both are good parents.

His lawyer told him that hed get joint and visitation until today, the girl said if he didn't agree that she was going to court, wich is fine then the judge would see what all hes done for baby and how long she kept her from him. now the lawyer says thats bad because missouri is a momma state an dads have basicly no rights but they would see what they could do for anoter $3000. Even tho he has done everything right and done everything as told.

If they agree on everything and get the same visitation and rights then why insist on sole physical and legal custody when both are equal parents? And why would a judge give all the right to a mother when the dad is right there giving his all to help?

Thank
 


Just Blue

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? missouri

I'll try to make this short! I am writing for advice for my brother and his ex girlfriend. They split up about 6 months or so ago, and she took the baby with the typical visitation agreement in place everyother weekend ect... She didnt keep up the agreement he has only seen the baby once since then. She says her lawyer told her not to let him see the baby. He has jumped through hoops trying to see her and she ignores or never shows up.

They are in total agreement on visitation, sharing all response abilties ect... except she won't let him see her until he signs papers giving her sole physical and legal custody! with him getting full desion rights, everyother weekend, 1 nite aweek. Hes wanting joint with her as primary physical, offering child support, babysitting when she works nites an weekends and just wanting to be in the little ones life. She is still refusing saying she is the mother. Both are good parents.

His lawyer told him that hed get joint and visitation until today, the girl said if he didn't agree that she was going to court, wich is fine then the judge would see what all hes done for baby and how long she kept her from him. now the lawyer says thats bad because missouri is a momma state an dads have basicly no rights but they would see what they could do for anoter $3000. Even tho he has done everything right and done everything as told.

If they agree on everything and get the same visitation and rights then why insist on sole physical and legal custody when both are equal parents? And why would a judge give all the right to a mother when the dad is right there giving his all to help?

Thank

Why isn't dad on here asking his own legal questions??

And why don't you type in English?? There is a spell check option...;)
 

CJane

Senior Member
Missouri has a presumption of joint custody - that is, as long as both parents are fit and there seems to be a reasonable chance that they'll be able to co-parent w/out a lot of detrimental drama, they'll be given joint LEGAL custody.

This is NOT a 'mother-favored' state.

If they're even close to agreement, he needs to request mediation. And I'd be VERY hesitant to give that particular attorney ANY more money.
 

cjwittle

Junior Member
Sorry about the spelling and he is talking with her an I thought Id get some expert answers for him cause he don't know what to do now. :)He already gave the lawyer $1200, and they answered one set of papers for joint custody and said to wait because the girl is hurting herself by holding the baby. They have never mentioned a mediator. Havent went to court or nothing and asking for more money. Yea so far the lawyer hasnt done anything really, actually only talked to the lawyer one time, secretary does it all.

Thats the only hold up she said she would give him everything he ask for if he sign over full custody. What would some reasons be for that? Government help? Full control? She just says it makes her feel better.
 
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LdiJ

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? missouri

I'll try to make this short! I am writing for advice for my brother and his ex girlfriend. They split up about 6 months or so ago, and she took the baby with the typical visitation agreement in place everyother weekend ect... She didnt keep up the agreement he has only seen the baby once since then. She says her lawyer told her not to let him see the baby. He has jumped through hoops trying to see her and she ignores or never shows up.

They are in total agreement on visitation, sharing all response abilties ect... except she won't let him see her until he signs papers giving her sole physical and legal custody! with him getting full desion rights, everyother weekend, 1 nite aweek. Hes wanting joint with her as primary physical, offering child support, babysitting when she works nites an weekends and just wanting to be in the little ones life. She is still refusing saying she is the mother. Both are good parents.

His lawyer told him that hed get joint and visitation until today, the girl said if he didn't agree that she was going to court, wich is fine then the judge would see what all hes done for baby and how long she kept her from him. now the lawyer says thats bad because missouri is a momma state an dads have basicly no rights but they would see what they could do for anoter $3000. Even tho he has done everything right and done everything as told.

If they agree on everything and get the same visitation and rights then why insist on sole physical and legal custody when both are equal parents? And why would a judge give all the right to a mother when the dad is right there giving his all to help?

Thank
If it goes to court, its almost a slam dunk that your brother would get joint legal custody (joint decision making rights). That is very much the norm these days. The physical custody is less certain, and actually doesn't change much of anything for your brother if the timeshare would be the same, either way. It wouldn't change child support or anything else if the timeshare would be the same, either way.
 

cjwittle

Junior Member
My brother wants to thank you!! He is not good on a computer so hes reading and Im typing! lol Team work!!
How or where can you go to see what you really need to do or steps to take?
Thats why the lawyers because they thought they knew what to do, a simple custody , papers and done. Now its a jumbled mess with the lawyers. Her lawyer is telling her to keep the baby away and not let him see her until he signs full custody, his lawyer saying we ll get it to a jude and you will get joint sit and wait , now telling him no chance he might get visitation because of it being a mommy state and can not go to court now with out more money.
They are both young and broke so can not afford for these lawyers to keep dragging them around, and think that since they paid for them they are doing it the right way. Do you have to have an lawyer to get it to the judge? I don't think either lawyer is being honest with them!
 

cjwittle

Junior Member
Hey Im really needing some help here! I just want to see my baby and its been 6 months and still getting pushed around. I am so tired and just worn out and dont know what else to do!
I posted about it last week and got some good advice. but its just not happening.
My ex an me are basically in agreement except the sole physical and joint part and working on that with the attorneys. Im doing everything I've been told to do and still no visitation. She claims her lawyer has told her do not let me see or have the baby until this is over an I have signed the papers, (6 months now) or requested visitation officially! (its in all the paperwork, certified letters, hundreds of text messages, phone calls, my lawyer calls her lawyer and nows shes sick so as long as shes got the flu or cold I can't see or have her per her lawyer. It has taken a month for them to get her the last set of answers asking for joint legal and her primary physical and now she told me she got part of the papers yesterday, and they will send the rest in a couple weeks and will get back with me!


My lawyer says we have done everything possible and did it the right way to sit and wait un till they get around to us. and that most likely its her making all this up and her lawyer is not telling her this. Like said its been 6 months already!
How long can they keep doing this, if it is her how can she keep getting by with all this?
Now the lawyer is getting frustrated an has other clients and really tired of messing with it. I do understand but this is my daughter an I can't just let it go. I called the court house and was told its all up to the attorneys, I can't petion the courts or anything on my own for visitation.
Do I have any options other than new lawyers? They have all my money now!
Is there anything else I can do?

Sorry for the book just at wits end!!!
 

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