If I request that my ex spouses solicitor does not reveal my personal email address to my ex spouse (due to potential harassment from her), do they have to adhere to this request? I am representing myself.
This site is intended for US Law, and I suspect, from your use of the term solicitor, that you are not in the US.
Generally, in the US, when an attorney works for a client, he or she is not supposed to keep information from his or her client.
Maybe your country has a specific law regarding disclosure of email addresses.