Someone Else's Child

[Gunnshy357]

My wife confessed to having an affair while we were engaged. It resulted in the birth of a little girl. Chances are very strong that she's not mine. How can I get support from the biological father without him becoming a part of her life until she's of age and can decide if she wants a relationship with him ?

Gunnshy357

 

[kindbear]

i don't know if that is possible...visitations are allowed, unless there is a good reason for not allowing them. then you would proobably have to get a court order. now--this is sort of the situation i am in, except that my husband married a girl he knew for two months, who left him 2 months later. we have not seen her or the child since, yet we are supposed to be paying our money to this child, yet have no contact with. it seems like a waste of money, considering how much i clip coupons and count change around my house to raise my own daughter, now 2. this really isn't a fair situation...look at it that way and put your feet in his shoes. would you want to support a child that you would never see or talk to? would you want to give someone money that you don't neccesarily know is going directly to support the child? would you want to help a raise a child (fianancially) yet have no idea about how the child is being raised? just a few things to remeber before you ruin this guys life. good luck

 

[concepcion]

how can you ask something like that, if you are still with your wife after what happen that means you forgive her for her mistake, but now if you want the biological father to pay child support you gona have to face what else comes with that, such as visitation rights and a relashionship between your wife and the father, there's alot to think about.

 

[Gunnshy357]

Someone Else's Child II

Thank you "Kindbear" for your thoughts and best of luck with your situation. I really don't care about ruining this guy's life as you put it seeing as how he's ruined mine. This whole thing is a flashback of what happened to me as a child when I found out that the man who raised me wasn't my real dad. I don't know if you can imagine what that can do to a child and the last thing I want is for that to happen to my daughter. As for forgiving my wife, I'm trying VERY hard and the more I think about how I was betrayed, the harder it is to forgive. I can still hear my wife. "I cheated on you while we were engaged and there's a chance that she may not be yours." As you can see, I'm trying to work through extreme anger, pain, bitterness and I'm really fighting the urge to find this ******* and take my pain out on him !

 

[LegalBeagle]

My wife confessed to having an affair while we were engaged. It resulted in the birth of a little girl. Chances are very strong that she's not mine. How can I get support from the biological father without him becoming a part of her life until she's of age and can decide if she wants a relationship with him ?

Gunnshy357

Life does not work like this sunshine.. if it did, I would win the lottery next week even though I have not brought a ticket.

 

[Grandma B]

Re: Someone Else's Child II

Thank you "Kindbear" for your thoughts and best of luck with your situation. I really don't care about ruining this guy's life as you put it seeing as how he's ruined mine. This whole thing is a flashback of what happened to me as a child when I found out that the man who raised me wasn't my real dad. I don't know if you can imagine what that can do to a child and the last thing I want is for that to happen to my daughter. As for forgiving my wife, I'm trying VERY hard and the more I think about how I was betrayed, the harder it is to forgive. I can still hear my wife. "I cheated on you while we were engaged and there's a chance that she may not be yours." As you can see, I'm trying to work through extreme anger, pain, bitterness and I'm really fighting the urge to find this ******* and take my pain out on him !

The biofather is not the one who betrayed your trust and "ruined your life". That person was your fiance/wife. Either learn to deal with it or get out.

 

[kindbear]

your welcome

i completely understand. that is sort of how i felt. betrayed and all. when i met my husband he had been apart from his wife of two months for a month and a hlf. he knew her for 2 months b4 marrying her and he will admit that it was the worst mistake of his life. over and over he told me the child wasn't his. it couldn't be in the time frame, but when the test came back saying 99.6% his, i was hurt. i hated her and the child. i felt betrayed and then i started feeling like i was the one who ripped apart a family (even though she walked out and never called again--just ran up bills and applied for credit in his name). but i was just upset, now that all this has started, i think he has a right to know something about this child and the way he is being raised. we are even considering custody--she has a history of hard drug use. still trying to figure all of this out. good luck in figuring out your situation.