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someone please help me!!!!!!!!

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ga_mom

Guest
What is the name of your state? georgia

MY EX HUSBAND HAS JUST INFORMED ME THAT HE WAS TAKING ME BACK TO COURT TO GET CUSTODY OF MY 8 YO SON...THE THING IS THAT WE HAVE JOINT CUSTODY BUT IM LISTED AS THE PRIMARY LEGAL PARENT...THE THING IS I WOULD NOT ALLOW MY SON TO VISIT HIS FATHER BECAUSE OF SCHOOL AND ACTIVITIES THAT WERE GOING ON THIS WEEK BUT DID T3ELL HIM THAT HE WAS ABLE TO GO OVER THERE FRIDAY AND SATURDAY AND COME BACK HOME ON SUNDAY...WELL THAT WASNT GOOD ENOUGH AND NOW HE IS VERY ANGRY...HE CLAIMS THAT IM UN FIT, HE CLAIMS THAT I DONT CARE FOR MY SON BUT IN ALL REALITY IM THE ONE WHO TAKES HIM TO THE DR. I STAY HOME FROM WORK WHEN HE IS SICK.I BUY ALL OF HIS SCHOOL NEEDS PLUS ANY OTHER THING THAT HE MAY NEED...MY EX CLAIMS THAT HE HAS "DIRT" ON ME...AND YES I WAS A BAD GIRL IN MY TEENS..NO I NEVER WENT TO JAIL OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT (NOR DRUGS)...BUT I DO LIVE WITH A MAN THAT I HAVE BEEN WITH FOR 5 YEARS,,,ALTHOUGH WE ARE NOT LEGALLY MARRIED I HAVE BEEN TOLD THAT I WILL LOOSE MY SON IF WE ARE NOT MARRIED....IS THIS SO????? THAT MAN HAS BEEN IN MY SONS LIFE FOR 5 YEARS...AND HAD PICKED UP THE SLACK WHERE MY EX HUSBAND WILL NOT FILL!!! PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME.....WHAT SHOULD I DO...OR IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO?????:confused:
 


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Leona Dennis

Guest
it shouldn't matter if you are married or not to this man that you live with - it would be better for your case to be married - but that is not the point. your ex can not take away your son just because he feels like it. he sounds like he might have a little bit of a temper!!!!

you might have to go back to court and redo the order and set up some kind of visitation schedule since school is getting ready to start and activities and so on. it would be a lot easier on you and your son if things were more concrete and laid out so no one could play the he said she said game.
 
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lcollins

Guest
The only thing he can do is get you for contempt - for denying visitation, however, you've supplied a reasonable excuse and attempted to make up for it, only he refused. If he wanted his son so bad, he would have taken it and been reasonable. I'm not saying denying the vistation was the best thing, but he is being unreasonable to not even consider alternate arrangements. He has to prove you unfit, and let's face it, in GA you'd have to abandon the child, volunteer to give him up, or be a druggie or convict to get that. I would let him simmer down a while not get too worked up over it until he actually makes a move, he could just be blowing smoke right now.
 

ellencee

Senior Member
ga_mom
If there is a court order specifying visitation and if the mother did withhold visitation for school and activities, she is in contempt. The gesture of giving the child two days with the father does not relieve the mother of being in contempt of a court order. Georgia courts will indeed look at one parent's dictating visitation as reason to consider a change in custody. Georgia courts, as other courts in other states, consider tampering with, or dictating visitation, as a deliberate attempt by the parent to interfere with the child-parent relationship.
Whether or not there is a court order specifying visitation, if the child's father files for custody, you need an attorney.

You need to not type in capital letters. This site specifically states to type lower case letters and some of the attorneys will refuse to answer a post in all caps.
 
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Illinois Dad

Guest
Ok, I am going out on a limb here. It seems mighty strange to me that dad would react that way the very first time his visitation was interfered with, and make no mistake about it...this is with holding visitation. This is just one of those times when I wish both sides to the story could be told because there are volumes here that are not being relayed.

Just my opinion, so blast away if you must!!!
 

ellencee

Senior Member
Illinois Dad
I cast my vote for this being a pattern of behavior--mom dictating when visitation will and will not be. It can simply be mom's misunderstanding that school, school related activities, church, sickness, etc. are valid reasons to 'deny' visitation especially if mom offers a makeup time later. I'm not saying mom's malicious; I'm saying dad's fed up with the status quo.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
I tend to agree that this is likely a pattern of behavior, for whatever reason. And that could cause a heck of a lot of trouble for Mom.
 
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ga_mom

Guest
thanks to all who have given some advice...as it states in my divorce papers...dad is supposed to get my son on the first and third weekend of every month...and then certain times on holidays...and two weeks during the summer. and if we can not agree on visitation then we would follow the divorce papers to the t without any bending.. this summer my ex and i discussed this in great detail....i would allow him to spend more time with him... and 2 weeks bewfore schol started we would go back to the weekend deal so get my son read for school (back on schedule)..that worked out fine...he called on a sunday asked if he could see his son i said yes in a few days then the following monday he called at 8 am and said that he was getting my son i then in turned told him no that this monday was busy, tues we had an apt, wed he was seeing his grandma, and thurs we had open house at the school...and i would bring him to him after the open house..and no he did not want to go to the open house either..(no he does not have much to do with our sons schooling)...now you tell me where did i go wrong...l1st i did not give him a certain day and i did offer to bring my son to him right after the open house meeting....2nd we discussed this visitation thing in great detail..... i have never wanted to keep my son from his father.....my ex is a great dad...(no not in the support issue....i havent received a dime from him and i dont care to push the issue..i have been able to manage this so far)...
 
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lcollins

Guest
So let me make sure I got this straight - Dad does not have weekday visitation per divorce agreement / visitation schedule on the days you "denied" him visitation? If not, and you made no agreement for those particular days, then no, you did nothing wrong and have nothing to worry about.
 
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lcollins

Guest
Just a suggestion, but with a fairly liberal visitation schedule like you have, I would start getting everything in writing. Send him letters via certified mail with return receipt, and ask him to do the same, this way, you're both covered and some of the "misunderstanding" will be avoided.
 

tammy8

Senior Member
Just curious

How close does your ex life to you? Is it possible that he take your son to and from school also?

I guess I am just confused since you say that he is mad that you wouldn't let him see his son during the week especially if this was out of the norm of visitation. Exactly how often has he been with your son especially during the week? I am by no means saying this is your case but I know with my husband his orginal custody papers were similar in time factors (EOW and holidays) however his children stayed with him normally 4 days a week unless biomom would get angry and keep his kids away. After monthes of this, he took her back to court and won joint physical custody. Now she has to take the kids to "Our" school distract (9 miles further then before) just because she wanted to change the rules after the fact. Judge really looked down on her jerking visitation for no reason except inconvience on her part.
 

ellencee

Senior Member
ga_mom
based on your last post, you did nothing wrong.
let me issue a word of warning--doing nothing wrong does not prevent the other side from lying--example--one week of my ex's summer visitation, he unexpectedly brought the children home early, on a Friday. He gave me no explanation. What he did do was to drive to the neighboring county and file a contempt of visitaion against me for not letting him have the children that week. I was a single parent, with no witnesses, just my word against his, and I was found in contempt and had to give him another week's visitation to make up for the week he 'didn't get'--GEORGIA court. When Charlie Daniels brought the devil down to Ga, he forgot to take him back. Be careful, he may be visiting your ex at this very moment!
Best wishes!
EC

editing note: (I hate it when I obsess over having made a mistake in telling something on this board! I've been anxious to get back on here and correct this thing.) I was a single parent at the time he did this; I married 3 weeks later. I've always wondered why he did this, and I have no answer except that he couldn't stand losing control of me and I did manage to make a good life for myself without him. While I was obsessing about correcting the error above, I suddenly realized that one of the children probably told him I was getting married in 3 weeks and that was my engagement gift from him. He gave me many more of the same type gifts over the next few years.
 
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lcollins

Guest
ellencee, that's horrible!!! Sounds like something my ex would do if cared that much!
 

ellencee

Senior Member
Thank you, ladies! I can tell you more horror stories, but I won't.
He and I never had any problems until I married again, nevermind he had married years earlier. Let's just say it's in the past and it's a good thing I don't have any magical powers!
 

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