someone please!!!

[peaches67]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? MO

I am writing with a couple questions. First do I have to meet my Xhusband half way for him to get the kids on his time with them? NO parenting plan is in place.

Second, isn't his new wife supposed to stay out of our business when it comes to our divorce, settlements, mediation, child support..etc. She calls me names in front of my kids and runs her mouth calling me names when I am trying to discuss something with my X. He does it too, the name calling....

Third, in my divorce papers it says child support/alimony will be set up for auto pay via the bank and it hasn't been, he just sends it when he pleases. He said as long as it is there every month there is nothing I can do even though it is supposed to be set up as an automatic transfer into my account....Please help!!!

Lastly...he sent me $350 instead of 200 every month. 200 is my alimony but now he is trying to claim the extra 150 as alimony too. I have a signed notirized paper saying he was paying me 200 for alimoney and 150 to help me out. It says nothing about it being alimony, he plans on stopping the alimony as soon as it hits 4800 since that is the total amount he owes and he is including the extra 150 he said was to help me out. Can I fight that?

 

[Banned_Princess]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? MO

I am writing with a couple questions. First do I have to meet my Xhusband half way for him to get the kids on his time with them? NO parenting plan is in place.

If there is no parenting plan in place what kind of order IS in place.

Second, isn't his new wife supposed to stay out of our business when it comes to our divorce, settlements, mediation, child support..etc. She calls me names in front of my kids and runs her mouth calling me names when I am trying to discuss something with my X. He does it too, the name calling....

I need to know what kind of order is in place... but no. she cant.. or isnt supposed.

Third, in my divorce papers it says child support/alimony will be set up for auto pay via the bank and it hasn't been, he just sends it when he pleases. He said as long as it is there every month there is nothing I can do even though it is supposed to be set up as an automatic transfer into my account....Please help!!!

I guess you should take him back to court for disobeying the orders.. you can bring up the child issues there too.

Lastly...he sent me $350 instead of 200 every month. 200 is my alimony but now he is trying to claim the extra 150 as alimony too. I have a signed notirized paper saying he was paying me 200 for alimoney and 150 to help me out. It says nothing about it being alimony, he plans on stopping the alimony as soon as it hits 4800 since that is the total amount he owes and he is including the extra 150 he said was to help me out. Can I fight that?

You need to go back to court. ..

 

[Ronin]

Unless the orders clearly state you have to meet him halfway, then you do not. However, if the orders are unclear, it is possible that if you refused to meet him halfway he could go all the way to pick the children up and then make you go all the way to get them back. If this goes back to court, it is possible the judge will simply order the travel be split.

The judge cannot order the new wife to do, or not do, anything as to her antagonizing you, since she is not a party to the suit.
It is likely the judge will take any extra money your ex paid to you as covering his $4800 alimony debt to you. Your ex could reasonably argue that his "helping you out" was in the context of giving you more than the monthly minimum he was required to, but that it was never intended as a free gift.

But you appear to have a good reason to go back to court on the auto pay issue on child support. Can't say you have a good chance of getting what you want on your other complaints...

 

[mistoffolees]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? MOI am writing with a couple questions. First do I have to meet my Xhusband half way for him to get the kids on his time with them? NO parenting plan is in place.

No. There is no formal rule, AFAIK, but logically, each parent is responsible for picking up the kids when it's their turn. That means when he gets the kids, he is responsible for all the travel. When you get the kids back, YOU are responsible for all the travel. Or, you can be reasonable and agree to going halfway each time.

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? MOSecond, isn't his new wife supposed to stay out of our business when it comes to our divorce, settlements, mediation, child support..etc. She calls me names in front of my kids and runs her mouth calling me names when I am trying to discuss something with my X. He does it too, the name calling....

You can't do much about her. You CAN do something about him. If he is trying to ruin your relationship with the kids, you can ask for a court order stating that he is not to disparage you to the kids. If you already have such an order, you can go to court to enforce it.

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? MOThird, in my divorce papers it says child support/alimony will be set up for auto pay via the bank and it hasn't been, he just sends it when he pleases. He said as long as it is there every month there is nothing I can do even though it is supposed to be set up as an automatic transfer into my account....Please help!!!

Technically, it's enforceable. However, if you're getting the money, it's almost certainly not worth the trouble. The court may tell you to get lost and/or make you pay his legal expenses if they feel like it. Basically, as long as you're getting your money, no harm, no foul.

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? MOLastly...he sent me $350 instead of 200 every month. 200 is my alimony but now he is trying to claim the extra 150 as alimony too. I have a signed notirized paper saying he was paying me 200 for alimoney and 150 to help me out. It says nothing about it being alimony, he plans on stopping the alimony as soon as it hits 4800 since that is the total amount he owes and he is including the extra 150 he said was to help me out. Can I fight that?

What is there to fight? The only alimony he can claim as a deduction is what's ordered by the court and the only amount you have to declare on your taxes it the court ordered amount. If he wants to pay more, he's welcome to do so, but it doesn't change the court order or the tax situation. He's also free to tell his friends that he's paying $350 in alimony, but he'd better not tell the IRS that.

 

[nextwife]

If he accelerated payment of an ordered fixed amount and pays it off early, he should be able to cease payments when he reaches the total required.

 

[mistoffolees]

If he accelerated payment of an ordered fixed amount and pays it off early, he should be able to cease payments when he reaches the total required.

I'm not sure that's the case.

Let's say that there is a court order to pay $200 per month for 4 years ($9,600 total). Now, let's say that he pays $400 per month for the first 2 years. Third year starts and he stops paying. I suspect that she could go back to court to collect $200 per month for the remaining time. The court order is that he needs to hand her a check for $200 each month in the third and fourth year and he wouldn't be complying. He could argue that he paid the 3rd and 4th year alimony in the 1st and 2nd year, but it could just as easily be considered a gift. I wouldn't do it without a signed document from the ex stating that it was, indeed, prepaid alimony.

In any event, that doesn't seem to be the case here. He has specifically stated that it's 'to help her out', so it's a gift, not alimony.

 

[Ronin]

...He has specifically stated that it's 'to help her out', so it's a gift, not alimony.

He sent her a notarized statement that he was including an extra $150/month with the alimony to "help out". If this was indeed a "gift", I can think of no legal or otherwise good reason why notarizing such a fact would be necessary. He could just give her the extra money and be done with it.

While he could have worded this better, I believe he has a pretty good leg to stand on arguing this was not a gift, but rather a prepayment of alimony. The judge would likely be hard pressed to believe an ex-husband paying alimony and child support was in a generous gift giving mood.

 

[mistoffolees]

He sent her a notarized statement that he was including an extra $150/month with the alimony to "help out". If this was indeed a "gift", I can think of no legal or otherwise good reason why notarizing such a fact would be necessary. He could just give her the extra money and be done with it.

While he could have worded this better, I believe he has a pretty good leg to stand on arguing this was not a gift, but rather a prepayment of alimony. The judge would likely be hard pressed to believe an ex-husband paying alimony and child support was in a generous gift giving mood.

Sorry, but it's not that simple or clear. The court orders $200 per month. They expect $200 per month - FOR THE FULL TERM. He does not have the right to arbitrarily change the court order to suit himself.

There is going to be very strong presumption that he would pay the $200 per month as ordered by the court and anything else would be a gift. If he was simply prepaying alimony, it would be foolish for several reasons:

1. He can not deduct more than the court order, so the extra amount would be non-deductible.
2. He would lose the deduction in the future years (after it was paid off with accelerated payments).
3. He would lose the interest on the money. If he was simply prepaying alimony, the logical thing would be to put the extra money into a savings account and keep the interest, then pay her on time.

Since there's no logical reason for prepaying alimony, nor is there a legal basis for it, I don't see how he's going to win by telling the judge that he chose to ignore the court order and change the terms without permission from the court or his ex - even though it was financially harmful to do so.

 

[nextwife]

One could argue that, due to the time benefit of money, "to help out" means prepaying principal earlier so she'd have use of the funds. He is to pay a fixed principal amount. He is required to pay it in payments of (no less than) $200/mo. Maybe I think like a banker. If I have a borrower who is legally obligated by agreement to pay a fixed debt off at $200/mo, with NO prepayment penalty, and they send, instead, $350/mo. the debt obligation ceases once they've paid the principal in full. Is he subject to a prepayment penalty that prohibits him accelerating payment of the principal? This is not CS, it is a pre-established fixed principal amount that is due her.

4800 . . . that is the total amount he owes

Sounds like one of those deals where they are calling money that is really a property settlement "alimony" so it can be deducted..

It would be interesting to know EXACTLY what the ORDER states regarding the payments and amounts.

 

[Ronin]

Sorry, but it's not that simple or clear. The court orders $200 per month. They expect $200 per month - FOR THE FULL TERM. He does not have the right to arbitrarily change the court order to suit himself.

There is going to be very strong presumption that he would pay the $200 per month as ordered by the court and anything else would be a gift. If he was simply prepaying alimony, it would be foolish for several reasons:

1. He can not deduct more than the court order, so the extra amount would be non-deductible.
2. He would lose the deduction in the future years (after it was paid off with accelerated payments).
3. He would lose the interest on the money. If he was simply prepaying alimony, the logical thing would be to put the extra money into a savings account and keep the interest, then pay her on time.

Since there's no logical reason for prepaying alimony, nor is there a legal basis for it, I don't see how he's going to win by telling the judge that he chose to ignore the court order and change the terms without permission from the court or his ex - even though it was financially harmful to do so.

While your logic of why one would not choose to prepay alimony is valid, I would guess that these points were not considered by the ex-husband. And, that his notarized statement to his ex was his attempt to assert that this was not a gift, but rather a prepayment.

However, without seeing the order, we are only speculating to what extent the ex-husband followed, or departed from, the letter and intent of the order.

Given it is within the judges discretion to go either way on this, in my opinion the judge may very well decide to not treat it as a gift.

But we rarely hear the "rest of the story" in many cases posted here, much less be certain it is reliable.

As a practical matter, any potential tax filing issues with what amounts to a total alimony deduction of $4800 over TWO YEARS that may have been improperly accelerated a bit in the first year is not a huge deal or cause any real problems in the unlikely event it was found during an audit. Nor is any savings account benefit from squirrreling away an extra $150 a month for a few months worth more than a six pack of Old Milwaukee.

 

[peaches67]

when you say order...

if you are talking about the divorce decree it simply states he is to pay 200/month for 2 yrs. It states he is to set up an allotment and pay his child support.

there is nothing about prepaying, there is nothing about gifts or paying more than 200....with a notarized letter stating he was paying 150 to help me out during a tough time I don't see how that can be considered pre payment...

I guess I just have to go back to court. we don't have a parenting plan in place, only thing in our divorce papers is that he gets the kids over the summer and during those two months he doesn't pay child support.....

thanks for all the responses

 

[mistoffolees]

if you are talking about the divorce decree it simply states he is to pay 200/month for 2 yrs. It states he is to set up an allotment and pay his child support.

there is nothing about prepaying, there is nothing about gifts or paying more than 200....with a notarized letter stating he was paying 150 to help me out during a tough time I don't see how that can be considered pre payment...

I guess I just have to go back to court. we don't have a parenting plan in place, only thing in our divorce papers is that he gets the kids over the summer and during those two months he doesn't pay child support.....

thanks for all the responses

I would seriously rethink going back to court. For $200 per month, the entire 2 years is $4,800. Since some of it has been paid, you're talking about a considerably smaller number. Even though I believe he can not get away with calling it a prepayment, I could be wrong and the judge might rule against you - so you wouldn't get more money AND you'd have legal expenses (and possibly his) to pay. You're just not likely to come out far ahead even if you win.

As for the child support, you have a court order. If he doesn't pay it, take it to the state child support collection department. Frankly, you're being petty by demanding that it be transferred electronically per the court order if he's paying it anyway.

As for his new wife calling you names, so what? The kids are with you 80% of the time. They can observe you and they presumably know you better than the new wife does. If what she is saying has any truth to it, then it's your behavior you need to change. If there's no truth to it, the kids will see that and it reflects badly on her. Trying to litigate something like that rarely produces results that are satisfactory to anyone. However, if you have a clause in your decree (or default orders) which orders you each to refrain from denigrating the other, then a letter to your ex (NOT his wife since she's not a party to the agreement) reminding him of what the decree says might be appropriate. But even so, you're almost always better to just ignore what the new spouse says - the kids will ignore it, too, unless you make an issue of it.